In real life

Little white lies

"So, what do you think about him?"

Me and Julia was sitting at a table in the cafeteria. I was eating and she was talking, she had barely touched her food.

"Who?" I asked with my mouth full of pizza. "The new guy of course!" Julia exclaimed. "He's kind of cute, isn't he?" She giggled. "I mean, of course everybody is going to try to make him like them because he is new and all but I think I still got a chance if..." I almost choked on my pizza. Was Julia talking about hitting on Troye?!

Julia scowled at me. "What? Don't you think I got a chance?" "Julia", I started, "Troye is..." Then I stopped myself. I had completely forgotten that nobody except me knew that Troye was gay. What if he didn't want them to know?

"What?" Julia asked. "What is it?" "Nothing", I mumbled and took another bite of pizza. "Come on! You were about to tell me something!" I looked at her. Could I tell her? Was it safe? Luckily I didn't have to make the decision. Two blond girls came up to our table and asked Julia if she wanted to go with them to Starbucks and grab something to drink before the next period. She practically jumped of her chair. Julia was never late to say yes to anything. She didn't even ask me to come with them. Maybe it stung a little, she was my best friend after all, but I was mostly relived. Now I didn't have to answer her question.

When I had finished my pizza I looked at the time and found out that it was still half an hour before our next period started. Great. I decided to stay at the table and went on tumblr (surprise surprise). As I sat there scrolling on my phone I realised how much I knew about Troye. I mean, I had been stalking the guy for ages. I knew a whole lot about him that other people in my school probably didn't. What if I said something by mistake that he didn't want me to say? Sure, the things I knew he had already announced on the internet so it wasn't exactly secret, but still. There could be things he didn't want me to tell my classmates. Like him being gay for example. I didn't know how he felt about that.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of laughter. I looked up and saw a group of guys walk into the cafeteria. They were talking in loud voices and joking around. Following behind them was Troye. My heart did a little jump at the sight of him.

Troye kept on walking beside the guys as they went to buy their lunch, but it was clear that he wasn't a part of the group. He didn't talk to them and he looked really uncomfortable.

When the guys went over to an empty table Troye just stayed were he was, holding his tray in a tight grip. He searched the cafeteria for an empty seat, his eyes fluttering nervously. I felt really sorry for him, being the new kid wasn't easy. I considered offering him a seat at my table. But he wouldn't want that, would he? I was just a pathetic little girl, a nobody with one friend who she barely talked to. He wouldn't want to sit with me. The only reason he had been sitting beside me in class was that it was the only empty seat. But he looked so sad and miserable where he stood clinging to his tray. It was nothing like the confident smiling Troye I saw in his videos. I wanted to put that smile back on his face so badly. I had to try.

"Troye!" I shouted and waved. He looked confused for a moment before locating the sound. When he saw me waving he smiled and started to walk towards me. "Hi Taylor!" he said and put down his tray on the table before taking a seat. I felt myself lit up. He remembered my name! "How have your first day been so far?" I asked, trying to keep my excitement out of my voice. "Okay", he said and took a slice of pizza. "What are you up to?" I showed him my phone. "Tumblr", I explained. Troyes face lit up. "I love tumblr!" ''So do I!", I said, smiling like a fool. ''Do you have a favourite tumbler?'', Troye asked and leaned back in his chair while biting in to his second slice of pizza.

I hesitated. My favourite tumbler was Troyes tumblr, but could I tell him that? If I did I would have to explain that I knew about him a long time before he started at this school, I would have to tell him that I was a fan. What if he thought that I was crazy fangirl and didn't want to talk to me anymore? I couldn't take that risk, and not just because I adored that boy. Ever since I started talking to him I had felt so happy. I felt like I was starting to make a friend, and that was a feeling I had felt very few times in my life. It was a feeling I really enjoyed. I took the decision.

"No, I don't", I said. "I can't choose, there are so many good ones!" "Yeah", Troye said, "I feel you." After that we got into a deep conversation about tumblr and social media. And yes, you can have a deep conversation about social media. It's some deep shit! We also started to talk about other things, and we laughed. A lot. I don't think I had laughed like that in ages.

It was strange, we had only known each other for a couple of hours (in real life anyway) but we were already talking like we had been friends for ages. I had never felt so good talking to anybody in my whole life.

After a while me and Troye realized that we had only three minutes until our next period started. Where had the time gone?! We rushed out of the cafeteria and towards our next period which we, to my excitement, had together.

This day had been perfect. It was the last period of the day and I was sitting next to Julia in a classroom where the AC obviously was broken. Many students had dozed of in the unbearable heat. The teacher was talking in a sleepy voice and Julia ran her fingers trough her long light brown hair while checking her reflection in her phone. I was doodling in my notebook and glancing at the clock every three seconds.

Before this period me and Troye had decided to meet up outside the school after this period and give each other some company on the way home. I couldn't wait, just wanted the time to speed up. The time wasn't cooperating.

I sighed and leaned back in my chair. Julia looked up at me. "Impatient?" she asked. "It's hot in here", I mumbled. She nodded and went back to checking her reflection.

I didn't know why I didn't tell her the truth. I guess I just didn't want her to know. She would start asking questions and I didn't want questions. The only thing I wanted was to get out of here so I could be with Troye.

"I'm going to a party tonight." Julia had looked up from her reflection again and was smiling at me. "Oh yeah?" I said, not sure why Julia was telling me this. "Yeah", she said. "It's going to be huge. Like, everybody is going to be there." I just looked at her. "Okay", I said slowly. "Thanks for telling me." "Don't you wanna come?" Julia asked. She was sounding a little irritated. "Am I invited?" "No", she said, "but..." The bell rang. I quickly picked up my books and got out of the classroom. I felt the anger build up inside me. Why did Julia do that to me? It was okay with me if she went to a party I wasn't invited to. That happened all the time. But her mocking me for not being invited, that I just couldn't take. It was too much.

I pulled my bag out from the locker and slammed it shut. As I started to run down the corridor the tears came running down my cheeks. I run out of the school. Over the parking lot. The tears just kept coming.

"Taylor!" Suddenly Troye was there. "Hey Taylor! Slow down! Where are you going?" I stopped and turned around. "I thought that you..." he started but when he saw my face he stopped. "Taylor are you okay?" he asked. His voice was soft and kind. "I'm fine", I said and smiled through the tears. He walked up to me and reached out his arms. "I think somebody need a hug." I slipped into his arms and pressed my wet face against his shirt.

I had a friend, I thought. A real friend. Troye was here, I was going to be okay.

Author's note: I hope that you liked this chapter! Sending buckets of love to the people who read this, you are awesome! ;) <3