In real life

The reason why

Pain. Fear. Hopelessness. Those were the only emotions I felt during the days that followed. I lay in my bed at home, not speaking to anybody. I just stared up at my ceiling and followed the cracks in the white paint with my eyes as the emotions flowed through my body. Pain. Fear. Hopelessness.

The doctor had sent me home to rest. As if I was going to be able to rest. When I was awake the memories took control of me and all I could do was cry. I cried until there were no more tears to spill. That was when sleep took over and the nightmares began. They were always the same, and I always woke up screaming. Spencer would come and try to comfort me, wrapping his warm arms around me, but I barely felt them. I wasn't able to feel anything else than the panic spreading through my body.

In short terms you could say that I was a mess. Spencer didn't say anything about it though, he just kept on coming to comfort me after I woke up from my nightmares and he made sure that I ate food three times a day, even if I didn't feel like eating anything at all. He took care of me during those days. He cared about me. He was the only one. I'm sure that Troye would have cared, but he had problems of his own. He still hadn't gotten out from the hospital. Even if he was feeling better it would take time before he was fully recovered. As for his family and Tyler they had to be with Troye, they had to help him stay strong. Therefore it was only me and Spencer. What about my patents you may ask? Well, they were working. You would think that if your daughter nearly get's killed you take some time of from work to spend time with her, but no. They worked even more than before. I had stopped asking why.

It had been about a week of my depressing lifestyle when something finally happened. At the time I was sitting in my bed, forcing myself to eat some noodles that Spencer had cooked me. The sound of the doorbell echoed through the house and announced that a visitor was on our doorstep. I didn't bother checking who it was. Just let them walk away, I thought and kept on eating my noodles. As I ate I heard Spencer approach the door and invite the visitor inside. They exchange a couple of words before they went quiet. Footsteps made their way up the stairs and I heard a knock on my door. ''Taylor?'' Spencer said in a soft voice. ''There is someone here to see you.'' I slowly got up, my muscles screaming in protest. I had barely walked a meter the past week and my body didn't like change. Hope this someone is worth the effort, I thought as I walked past Spencer and began making my way down the stairs. When I got to the bottom floor I realized that the person was indeed worth the effort. "Hi Taylor", Troye said. He was leaning on a pair of crutches to lift the weight of his broken leg but other than that he looked fine. He even had a little smile playing on his lips. "Troye", I whispered and threw myself at him.

We stood there hugging for a long time, appreciating the fact that we could be together at last. When we finally broke a part Troye gave me a serious look. "We need to talk", he said. I nodded and led him over to the living room where we sat down on the couch. I was a little scared. 'We need to talk' was never a good way to start a conversation. It meant that something bad was coming. We settled down and Troye took a deep breath. I looked at him nervously. "I'm going to London", he said. My eyes went wide. "What?" I said in a small voice. "Why?" Troye gave me a sad look. "I need to get away from here Taylor", he said. "With Chad still out there it isn't safe for me here anymore. And after what happened I need a break." I stared at him. "Are you going alone?" I whispered. He shook his head. "Tyler is coming with me. We are leaving today. Zoe promised us that we could stay at her place for a while."

I was in shock. Troye was leaving. He was leaving me. I know, it was a really selfish thing to think but I couldn't help it. The thought of not having Troye around made me panic. He was my best friend. I couldn't do this without him. "Let me come with you", I begged, realizing that I was on the brink of breaking out in tears. Troye shook his head. "No Taylor", he said. "You belong here, and when I'm gone Chad won't bother you. It was me he went after in the first place. When I'm in London you will be safe." I shook my head. I wasn't sure I believed him, but at the same time I couldn't argue against him. He had a point: I belonged here. Even if I didn't want to admit it my life was in L.A. I couldn't just leave it. For Troye it was different. He hadn't grown up here like I had, nothing was forcing him to stay. He could go. He had to go.