In real life

Guilty not guilty

The first thing I noticed was the light. Everything seemed to shine with an unbelievable brightness that hurt my eyes and made my head pound. I tried to close my eyes in a desperate attempt to get away from the light, but for some reason it didn't work. After some time I realized why; my eyes were already closed. If the light is hurting my eyes when I have them closed, how am I then supposed to open them ever again? I thought. Eventually I did it anyway. It was painful, but bearable. Black spots danced in front of my eyes and I had to blink several times to get them away. When they finally disappeared I got the chance to take a proper look at my surroundings.

I was lying on a small bed with white sheets in a little room with mint green walls. A set of sad plastic flowers was sat on the bedside table and a small window was showing of a depressing view of a parking lot. The air smelled of cleanser and paper towels. There was just one kind of buildings who had these kind of rooms; hospitals.

My heart started to beat faster. Why was I at a hospital? I tried to figure it out but it seemed impossible. The last thing I remembered was... god, I didn't even know. My thoughts were a mess. I have to find someone, I thought. Someone who knows about what happened. I sat up in the bed, but as soon as I did it felt like my head exploded. Pain quickly spread from the back of my head through the rest if my body and made me gasp. I reached up and touched my head just to find it was covered in a thick bandage. What the hell was going on?

That was when the door to my room opened. In the doorway stood my brother. When he saw me sitting on the bed he gasped and the cup he had been holding went flying from his hand. The brown liquid splashed all over the floor but Spencer didn't seem to care. He rushed over to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Thank god", he mumbled into my shoulder. "Thank god, thank god, thank god." As he spoke I felt something wet and warm hit my shoulder. "Spencer, are you crying?" I asked him. Spencer laughed trough the tears. "Yes, I guess I am Tay-tay." He leaned back and smiled. "But who can blame me?'' he said. ''I have been sitting here for more than 24 hours. The doctors said you would be okay but after what happened I was so afraid you wouldn't wake up..." "About that", I cut him of. "What did happen?" Spencer's face got a serious expression. "You don't remember?" he asked me. I shook my head slowly, careful not cause another headache. "Well", Spencer began, "I don't know the whole story but apparently those boys beat you up pretty badly. When you and Troye were taken to hospital..." Troye. That name made something inside me click. Suddenly it all came back to me. Me running with Troye beside me. The sweet and tears streaming down my face. Hearing the footsteps getting closer. Chad in the alley. His warm breath against my face. The bat hitting Troye over and over again. This is the last one faggot, and it's going to be in a special place.

I began to shake. Tears started to stream down my face. It was like I had lost all control of my body. "Taylor?" Spencer said. Powerful sobs took charge of my body. I couldn't move. I couldn't breath. "Taylor!" Spencer cried. I heard him desperately trying to get the attention of a nurse walking by, but I didn't get to hear her response. The memories hit me again, with full force this time. My body couldn't take it anymore. I blacked out.

When I woke up for the second time Spencer was beside me. He held my hand and was talking to a nurse. When he felt my hand twitch he looked down and smiled softly at me. "You okay little sister?" he asked. "I think so", I squeaked. My voice definitely didn't sound okay. The nurse walked up next to Spencer and looked down at me as well. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that", she said. "You have been through a lot and dealing with the memories won't be easy. But it will get better, I promise you that."

I didn't really believe her. It didn't feel like it was going to get better. But on the other hand I couldn't be mad at her for saying that it would. She was just trying to comfort me, and she seemed like a really sweet girl. She looked like she was in her early twenties and had warm and friendly hazel eyes. She was the kind of person who you just know is kind and caring as soon as you lay your eyes on them. I couldn't be mad at her. Therefore I just smiled and said. "Thank you." Then I took a look at her nametag and quickly added: "Betty. Thank you Betty." Betty smiled. "I'll let you guys be alone for a while", she said. With five small steps she made her way out of the room and closed the door carefully behind her.