Remember This✔

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Molly's last session with Doctor Alan Ranch takes place at exactly nine in the morning. He doesn't know the outcome of the case yet and he doesn't mention it. It's the elephant in the room but Molly knows that if this is the last time they ever get to see each other then he doesn't want to waste it. They go for a walk around the grounds and then he buys her breakfast at the cafeteria upstairs. It's busier than when she and Charlie visited but that doesn't startle her.

"The panel have confirmed that you're fit for being discharged," he says resentfully. "Despite my assessment indicating otherwise. I hoped that if you had to stay a little longer then it would go in your favour with the judge."

Molly takes a break from eating her pancakes and drinks some of her coffee. "It's probably better that I go home so I can spend my last few days there."

"I agree with you. But I want you to remain in the state more than I want you to say goodbye to the people you care about."

"When is your friend presenting my case?"

"In an hour. I'm meeting him at the courthouse. That means I won't be here when you're discharged but I'll call you later as soon as I know anything."

"It's okay, I appreciate what you're doing. So I guess this might be the last time I ever see you. Unless you want to make the trip to New York twice a week. I know you're committed but I think that might be a stretch."

Alan grins. "The psychologists in New York are highly valued, you'll be in good hands there."

"But they're not you," Molly whispers. "They'll be the same as all the other ones, they'll confine me to a room and pick apart my emotions. Helen tried that for three months and I still ended up on the bridge."

"I do things differently but that doesn't mean that this has all been for nothing," Alan says. "I'd like to hope that what we've gained in our sessions you'll take with you. That you will remember what's important."

"Watching movies about families and getting dressed in the morning?" Molly raises an eyebrow and then smiles. "I think I'll remember that."

"And finding what can comfort you," Alan says. "Not just a dog or company from a friend but something more. You have to step outside, Molly."

"I did. I walked to school and-"

"I'm talking about your comfort zone."

"Oh." She nods in agreement. "That could be worked on."

"You need to let loose, lose a little control. Have some fun. The longer you spend inside walls the more you will look for the easiest way to escape them. The hardest way is stepping outside and embracing the uncertainty of the world but it's the world outside that gives us the rush of emotions that we crave." Alan says it so simply as though it should come naturally to Molly, or anyone. "What is it that you want? What do you crave?"

The question catches her off guard and she takes a while to answer. So many things come to mind; she wants to taste alcohol, she wants to dance, she wants to be able to listen to music without fearing a panic attack. But her answer surprises both of them.

"I want to learn how to drive," Molly says. "I want to own a car. I want to live somewhere long enough that I can make plans. Real plans. And drive myself to those plans."

"That's a realistic craving," Alan laughs. "I'm sure-"

"And I want to learn how to cook," Molly says, as she stares at her half-eaten pancakes. "I want to care about something so much that it's more than just a hobby, it's a part of my life. Like my drawings."