The Secretive Lovers-a Nerdy Niall Horan Fanfiction

Chapter 4- Empty

Niall's POV

The pain was growing. No matter how hard I try to hide it, the emptiness and negativity left behind from all of the years of bullying controlled me. My grades were dropping and I would just spend hours in my room staring at the ceiling, wondering why my life can't be...peaceful. Everyday, I come home with a bruise, whether it's from people constantly putting me down or just emotionally.

I walk out of the school, ready to avoid everyone and slip away to my cozy home.

*Remember if someone messes with you, just keep walking and ignore them.

I managed to walk a full 2 minutes without being attacked. Then, that was when a tall guy with a cigarette walked up to me.

"Niall, why do you think that you can just walk away from here and expect to not be reminded of how worthless you are?"

I had no idea who this person was or how he knew my name. I just ignored him and I continued my journey to my house.

"NIALL COME HERE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE" The man yelled behind me. At first I thought it was Zayn, but he would never hurt me. Before I could put the pieces together, a wave of pain shot through the side my face. My shape of the fist felt familiar.

Is it Harry?

At first, I believed myself, but Harry has never even touched a cigarette or a bottle of beer. In fact, when we used to walk together to get home, he would cringe whenever he saw someone with a smoke.

The man looked up and he smirked. I saw the familiar green eyes and his curly hair. It was Harry.

"Why do you look so surprised? I'm pretty sure you would've expect to start this." Harry gave me a sympathetic, but nervous look.

It was true. After all of the things that he has gone through, it would be extremely hard for him to resist the horrible liquid and drugs that were disguised as an escape.

It was a horrible sight. The bags under his eyes were really starting to show and his eyes were almost red from all of the alcohol. It was only about 10 minutes after school and here he was, behind the bleachers, smoking a drag.

His genuine face quickly turned into an angry one and since I was the closest one to him, I would have to be his punching bag.

He just stood there, while his hands were in balls and he started to breathe quicker. He lunged towards me and we fell to the ground. He kept throwing punches towards every inch of my body and when he went too low for appropriate measures, I screamed in pain. Harry dragged me to the front of the school and he told me,

"If you mess with Autumn, you're literally dead."

He threw me onto the ground and left within a flash, leaving me on the cold grass, silently hoping that the back my jeans wouldn't get wet.

Harry's POV

After I finally left Niall to rot, I walked home through the woods, trying to calm myself down. The cigarette really helped, but when I'm in school, I need some kind of relief. Niall is vulnerable enough to fall for my words that don't even make sense half off the fucking time. I swear, when I started this amazing shit, I have literally lost it.

I reached into my black backpack and pulled out the keys to my flat and I opened the door, letting out a sigh of relief when I was finally inside. It's too cold outside for all of this shit.

I slowly walk over to the couch and sit, thinking of everything that has happened to me these past years. Look at me now. My mind was sent through a trance, thinking about all of the cold-hearted selfish people I have met.... I'm alone, but I'm not lonely, I guess.

Zayn's POV

"Don't you think that you're being too forward about this?" I raised my eyebrow.

"No... Yes..." Autumn sighed plopping onto the couch beside me. We were at my place doing homework and eating when she started telling me about her plan on how to get Niall to go to the dance with her. Prom is in about a week and Autumn has had almost every boy at our school ask her to go with them, but she always said no.

"I don't even know if Niall will go regardless of if he has a date or not. Think about it, if he goes, there are going to be a lot of people there waiting to insult and tease him." I told Autumn.

She let out another sigh.

"Maybe I'll just go in a group with Stacey and Jamie."

I cleared my throat, tensing up at her name.

"Zayn, you've had a crush on Jamie since the 8th grade! You should make a move at least..." Autumn lead that into a long pep talk. I just rolled my eyes the entire time.

"Maybe I'll ask her soon, but we aren't talking because of that..." I paused and looked at Autumn. She just fell back, her head landing on one of the throw pillows.

"I don't know what to do about this, Zayn. I want to be happy, but I don't want to be selfish. I really want to go to prom with Niall, but he may get teased and it will ruin everything. The people will ruin everything..." She let out a whisper while staring at the ceiling.

"Just find a way to talk to him. Even though it's been a while since you two have talked, he will listen to you."

Even shitty advice would help her right now.

Niall's POV

I feel empty and lonely. Scarred and scared. I love her, but I don't have her. I just want to wrap my arms around her and tell her that she's beautiful whenever she felt insecure. Why can't I have her? Why can't she be mine? I want to touch her and feel her emotions, but society won't let me. I can still remember William Shakespeare's poem that I recited in kindergarten:

Autumn, why aren't you mine?

I stare at the wall, letting time pass by. The sunset is gone, but I don't care. I don't care anymore...

"Honey, you didn't come down for dinner, are you alright?" My mom asked politely in her gentle voice.

I just nodded and looked away. I don't deserve a mom like her...

She just nodded and left the room understanding that I needed to be alone. When the door closed, my head instantly turned towards my bathroom door. I slowly walked towards the door, terrified of what I was going to do. I picked up my blade that I usually used to clear my stubble...

Put it has a new purpose now.

Autumn, why can't I have you?

Harry, what did I do to you...

When we were best friends?

I looked into the mirror and stared at my ugly face.

I'm done.

I am empty.

~~~~

Awwww! Poor Niall :(

-Laela ;*