Trauma ➸ Audrey Jensen [1]

12 ➸ blood

twelve ; blood
Warning: self harm!

♕

HARLEY

I used to cry out from the sharp pain, but I didn't do that anymore. The pain wasn't there, only the lingering sting. I was used to it. I dragged the sharp piece of metal across the faded white scars, creating opening new ones. Blood followed the blade, trickling down my leg to my ankle. I sat in the bathtub, where it would be easier to clean up the horrifying mess that I was to make.

There were already scars on top of scars, and I was creating brand new ones over the same old lines of agony. I did it again, slicing deep into the skin of my leg, but this time the pain was strong enough for me to release a small cry.

I decided two fresh deep cuts were enough to remind me how useless I am, and how everything that girl said is right.

"Strange. Anorexic. Psychotic. They won't love you. Scared of everything. Fucking coward. People like you, kill themselves, and no one misses them."

The girls words kept echoing in my head as I went back to my leg once more, this time slashing against my leg furiously. Blood spewed out like I had popped a balloon with water, as it began to pour out of my leg and onto the tub floor. The tub was covered in blood, as I had released a series of choked sobs.

I leaned my head against the wall, the fresh smell of blood filling up my nose. This was it, this was the moment. I am going to take my life.

I rest the blade against my wrist, preparing to slice down, and for unbearable pain I was about to feel. I pressed the blade down, shaking and taking a deep breath. I let life fool me. I let everyone think I was normal, and they left me when they knew about me. I let Audrey make me think I was special, when it's obvious I'm not. Audrey may have saved me, but she is a monster. The way she choked that girl, and how she told me to just go away. Well, I will.

I turned on hot water, wanting the blood to fall into the water. My foster parents were gone for dinner, meaning I had enough time to bleed out. Here, alone. No one successfully loved me, and no one successfully cared.

"Do it," they whispered. "I am! Just... please don't," I begged them. They were coming back into my head, because I hadn't been taking my meds. The water filled up to my elbows, and I slowly slid down the vein in my wrist, barely cutting it before I could already feel the horrible pain of the blade touching deep layers of my skin. I took a deep breath. One slash. All it takes is one excruciatingly painful fast slice down your wrist, and then you can lay there. You can lay there in peace, and die.

"Harley?"

The sudden voice startled me, causing me to jump. The blade cut down slightly, and I cried out in pain. Son of a bitch. I quickly tried to collect myself to get it over with, I didn't want to be stopped.

Audrey rushed into the bathroom, her eyes widened when she saw me in the tub, in my own blood. She was looking at me covered in blood. She rushed to my side, grabbing the wrist with the blade in hand, attempting to take the sharp object away from me.

I screamed out, trying to fight her off and slice myself open. At this point, you'll have to slit your throat. If not, Audrey will take you to a hospital and you could possibly live.

I punched her in the stomach, and she groaned as she fell back. I held the blade against my throat, crying hysterically. This is it. I was a millisecond from moving, when I felt her hand yank my arm away again. She noticed I had cut a small inch of my vein in my arm, and gasped.

"Stop!" She shouted, but it was barely heard over my loud sobbing and the sounds of the water being splashed around the entire bathroom. The tub had overflown, and the floor was covered.

She held my arm against the bathtub edge, putting as much of her weight as she could as she pried the sharp object from my fingers. My sobs were now wrenching through the room as Audrey threw the object in the toilet, flushing it. She began to cry as she called for help, me sinking deep into the water. I felt loss in my vision, and I could feel the burning pain of my wounds being filled with the water I still feared.

Audrey lifted me out of the water, placing me on the bathroom floor as she cried loudly. She didn't know what to do. "Harley, please!" She cried as she pulled my limb body up into her arms, holding my soaked body close to hers. Everything was fading, but so slowly.

Sirens roared in the background as I tried desperately to move my arms and wrap them around Audrey. She still cares. She's trying everything she can to save you. Wake up, wake up! Snap out of it! She fucking loves you, damnit!

I managed to open my eyes, my vision still slightly blurry. Audrey placed me back down, turning off the tub water. She noticed I was awake still, struggling to keep my life. Why does she have to make me want to live?

She panicked, wanting to stop the slow blood flow from coming out of my arm. She took off her sweatshirt, that she wore nothing under but a black bra. She lifted up my numb arm, wrapping the black sweater around my wound. She tied it firmly around it, checking to see that I was okay every few seconds.

The next thing I knew, the room was filled with paramedics that escorted Audrey, and they picked me up into their arms. I began to cry, because I knew that they were going to put me back in that facility for a year until I was completely better.

I kept my gaze at Audrey as they carried me down to the gurney in the front of my house, and everything felt like a blur. "They're going to take you back there. Run!"

I struggled against the strong mans grasp, panicking as they placed the straps along my wet chest. My entire body was still soaked, and I was freezing. My arm was still covered in blood, wrapped in Audrey's sweatshirt. They replaced it with proper bandages, handing the bloodied sweatshirt to the paramedics.

Look at what you've done to yourself. You have hurt yourself so much to the point that you will never come back from this.

My whole body was numb, as I stared at the shining stars. Their light filled my eyes, and I let the colors fill my brain. I no longer had enough strength to move around, only to stare blankly at the stars that I lovingly wanted to become. I just wanted to watch the world burn, and not be a part of it.

Audrey cried softly in the background, with a blanket wrapped over her exposed torso. You'd be dead by now, if it wasn't for her. She came back to your house, and saved you. But why? Why would she still be fighting this hard for you?

The next thing I felt was a hand against my upper arm, softly stroking. I opened my eyes, seeing the short haired girl above me. Her eyes were red, her face covered in her own tears of distraught. "A—Audrey," I choked out, feeling severe pain in my leg and arm.

"Shh, it's okay. You're okay. I'm so sorry," she sobbed, leaning down and kissing my forehead gently. The ambulance began to drive away from my house, with me watching it disappear into the distance out the ambulance windows.

I felt tired, as I let my eyelids close on their own. I let my body do what it wanted. If it wanted to die, then so be it.

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10 votes for next chapter 🌲

This chapter gave me so many feels :( Harley pls understand that Audrey likes you too much to leave you lonely :)

I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, bye loves! 🥑