Trauma ➸ Audrey Jensen [1]

16 ➸ guilt

sixteen ; guilt

♕

AUDREY

My entire body ached as I opened my eyes to face the daylight, and to conquer the raging hangover that I had. My face was so swollen, I couldn't cry anymore because it just hurt so bad. Harley was in the kitchen getting me some water and an ice pack as I pondered at the ceiling. I was thankful that Gina didn't do anything to hurt Harley. The door creaked open, and Harley greeted me with a smile as she handed me a bottle of cold water, and placing an ice pack gently on my wounded face.

I winced, attempting to push her away, but I realized I can't do that. I can't hurt her in any way. "I know, baby. I know. But, this will make it better." She placed it against the bruises on my eye, to the ones on my temples. She took her hand away, replacing it with mine and told me to hold it on my bruises. I was so swollen, I looked like a bloody cloud.

Harley laid in the bed next to me, looking at me with those beautiful eyes. "What?" I giggled slightly, which hurt my ribs and my face. She kept a goofy smile on her face, scooting closer to me. "You said you loved me," she said, and I did remember saying it. I meant it. I've never meant anything more than I meant those three words. I love this girl. "Because I do," I whispered, resting my arm around her waist. She kissed me gently, trying not to put too much pressure on my bruised up face.

I scooted closer to her, holding onto her and gently resting my head against her chest. I was supposed to always protect her, but now I can't. I was too busy being irresponsible last night to be with her when that boy tried to drug her. Stavo had told me this morning how he had helped her with that, and I thanked him. How could I have ever accused such a nice guy to be a killer last year?

I closed my eyes, giving Harley a neck kiss before dosing off into a sleep, next to my love.

_________

"I don't want to go to the hospital. What if she goes after you? I need to be there!" I shouted, leaning up against the kitchen counter top. Harley didn't say anything, she just sat down on the couch and sighed heavily. I limped over to her, sitting next to her with guilt. I shouldn't have yelled at her. "Don't feel bad, alright? It's not the end of the world that you yelled. Maybe I deserved it. Maybe you're right. Maybe you should stay," she said, bitterly.

I sighed, not responding to the petty words she had spoke. She stood up, staring down at me with a sad look in her eyes. I've never seen more sympathy in someone. "I want to fix you. Everything about you," she whispered, sitting back down next to me. I weakly fell back against the couch, letting my body relax. "You can't. You don't get it. All the shit I went through... I won't be fixed, Harley."

She covered her face with her hands, clearly stressed. Her hair was a mess, as if she didn't get sleep last night. She probably didn't. I did, but nightmares filled the head the entire time. "I'm sorry. I love you, I do. But, this is me. This is us, it's what we are," I exclaimed, sitting up slowly and hugging her from behind.

She wrapped her arms around mine, leaning back and relaxing against me. She was sorry for me, sorry for all the shit that I went through. But, it will always stay with me. I will always have that small strike of fear every time I get a call or a text. It's like a forever curse that will never go away now. Everyone else seemed to move on, but not me. I never will.

_________

I stayed in the house for another day, slowly recovering from the nights before. Harley and I began arguing, and it scared me. Gina and I were so great, until we began to argue. It only got worse. I feared that one day, Harley would be the one with her fist colliding against my face while I'm drunk and helpless. But, there is something about her that I could never hate nor let go. If someone would leave, I wouldn't stop them. But not Harley, I was truly in love with this girl.

Harley was out, I wasn't sure what she was doing. She didn't tell me anything, only said that she was going to get coffee. I didn't really have a chance but to stay here due to all the pain I was still in. Gina can beat me to the core as much as she wants, but as soon as she touches Harley, she will be dead. I made myself a promise that if she harmed Harley, I'd kill her. I'd murder her brutally.

It had been hours, but Harley eventually returned. She came walking into the bedroom, and I hadn't even noticed until she greeted me with her soft voice. I returned the greeting, as she handed me a bottle of water and some food. "Thought some food might cheer you up," she mumbled. I smiled, accepting what she had given me. She got into bed, placing her arm on my chest as she closed her eyes. I kissed her forehead, sitting up to eat the food she gave me.

She was asleep quickly, with her hand holding mine. It was sweet seeing that she could fall asleep so quick and easily while holding my hand. I stayed up that night, because I couldn't shake the feeling of Gina. I couldn't get rid of that fear that she'd try to hurt Harley while I was broken down and asleep. That was her plan. To beat me down until I was nothing. Nearly dead, so that I'd be too weak to save Harley. I knew she wouldn't waste it on only me. She had a thirst for blood, a thirst to destroy Harley for taking me from Gina. But, she didn't take me. I chose to leave. I wouldn't have stayed anyway, and it was worth it. Harley is the love of my life.

"What's on your mind?" Her voice was quiet, gentle as she spoke to me as softly as she could. She scooted closer to me, placing her lips on mine. I winced slightly, making her pull back instantly. I shook my head. "Come back. Kiss me again."

She seemed guilty at first, but she kissed me again, and she melted into my arms. She held me so softly, afraid to break me more than I already was. I pulled her on top of me, and she rested her legs on either side of me. It hurt slightly, but I ignored it. I slid my hand up her shirt, groping her breast as she kissed down my neck. I bit my lip, playing with her breast. Her breathing got heavier, but she grabbed my hand and took it out of her shirt. "No. You should sleep. We can't do this, not now."

I sighed, nodding and giving her one final passionate kiss before she laid next to me the way she was before. Now that I had felt her lips on mine once again, I could close my eyes and fall asleep. I wrapped my arm around her, as hers was around me.

She held onto me tightly, but I missed the feeling of her lips against mine. "Babe," I whispered, close to her ear. She responded with a soft hum. "I miss your lips." I whined, and she giggled. It was that damn laugh. Everything about her was beautiful. "Fine."

She gave in, giving me one last loving kiss, because we could never get enough of each other. She did her best to avoid my bruises as her lips moved with mine, but she was gone within seconds. "Get some sleep," she whispered, placing a kiss on my cheek. She snuggled up against me, and now it was safe to say that I could finally fall asleep. With her.

I know. It's short. Eat my ass.
This is just a filler chapter babes 🌸
See you in the next chapter. I'm so sorry again for not
Updating... I really will try this time :)