Trauma ➸ Audrey Jensen [1]

21 ➸ gut wrenching

twenty one ; gut wrenching

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AUDREY

It was gut wrenching. Seeing Harley on her death bed was gut wrenching. I felt like I couldn't breathe as I watched her breathe so slowly, barely hanging on. This was bad. I placed my hand on top of hers as I stared at her broken form. I heard nothing from the killer since the night Harley almost died, which led me to truly believe that Gina really did this. She was half dead just like me, so how could she gloat to me about her accomplishments?

"Can she hear me?" I asked the nurse. She nodded, smiling. "She can hear all of us," she answered, going back to writing down whatever she was writing on her clipboard. I waited for the woman to leave before talking to Harley.

"Hi, baby," I smiled, squeezing her hand. "You're gonna be okay. I love you. So much." I could barely say anything more without breaking down. I couldn't lose her. I loved her so much. "She lost, baby. You're gonna win." I placed the flowers I brought into the vase next to the hospital bed. She was awake, but she wasn't responsive. It was almost as if she were already dead, with her eyes wide open.

She wouldn't drink any water, and she wouldn't eat, and they had to force melatonin Down her throat every night so she would sleep. It was such a hard sight to see. "I'll be back later, baby. I love you." I kissed her forehead, sighing and leaving the room.

_____

I made my way to Harley's room, walking into her room to see her standing up and staring off into space.

"Hey, Hey, you can't be up. Come on, baby, come lay down," I told her, holding her hands in mine. Her eyes traveled to mine slowly, and she couldn't move. "Come on. You're okay, baby. Everything's okay." I made her promises, but it was like I was talking to a wall. "Harley, come on. We can snuggle."

She wouldn't listen to me. I was crying, unable to handle these situations. My girlfriend was losing it. "Baby, please come lay down," I began crying, begging her to listen to me.

I kissed her forehead, attempting to lead her to her bed. I tried to pick her up, but she purposely made her body limb so I wouldn't be able to move her.

I set her down, and she was now sitting on the ground. She growled at me as I lifted her onto the hospital bed, and she sat up in a criss cross position. I attempted to push her back to lay down, but she started crying.

"No, baby, please don't cry. It's okay," I cooed, holding her in my arms. Her cries were silent, as she could not speak. She lost her voice. I shushed her, laying her down and watching as she closed her eyes to sleep. I sighed, beginning to cry. She was so broken. She was the same as when I met her. All the progress she made was wiped away. It's late at night, and the time of the day flew by fast. Too fast. I placed my hand on hers again, but she suddenly pulled back and began screaming again.

I panicked, standing to my feet and grabbing her arms and pinning them to her sides. She flailed to get me off of her, pushing and shoving me. She punched my chest and stomach, and I had no choice but to back off. After a few moments, she was completely still, eyes broken, focused on nothing but the blank space. I broke into a fit of sobs. I couldn't stand seeing her like this. I sat down in the chair next to her as she rocked back and forth.