*Alan's POV* | Mar 8, 2014
Three days. Three fucking days I've sat here, alone I may add, in a hospital. That is something that literally no one should ever experience. Basically, I feel like complete shit. Why? Austin is the main reason, and my mind is drowning me in terrible thoughts. It's sad that I've been in the hospital so many times within the same time period, it really is. But why do people care so much about me to keep me here in this putrid world full of hate? I mean, really, who cares for that stupid ginger? I hate how I'm so repetitive, but still. Do people not understand that I do not care if I live or not and that I just want to fucking die?! It's quite aggravating, sincerely.
Early today, I was told to get the hell out (not in that mean of a fashion) and well I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to stay here either. Do you see my problem? I mean, I practically live with Austin, and I don't want to see the guys because they'll make me talk to Austin or have Austin talk to me, and I really just want to avoid Austin at all costs.
"Mr. Ashby, you need to leave," a nurse says as she walks into my room.
"Not yet," I mumble. Maybe I can milk a few extra hours here. It's better than the streets, and my house is not suitable for me.
"You have to leave, now, please. I don't want to call security, but I will if needed," she replies. I heavily sigh. Now is not the time to get arrested or kicked out, but what the hell? What do I even care?
"Now," she hisses. I sigh once again and grab my phone. Guess I'm going home anyways. I guess it isn't all too bad. After all, its not like I could stay here for the rest of my damned life. Sadly, I may add. Oh well, whatever. Nothing I can really do about my stupid life; no one will let me fucking end the shit.
"Missed phone call from 'Austie', five. Missed call from 'Philly Cheese Steak', three. Missed message from 'Austie', twenty-seven," I read pulling out my phone. I scroll down my notifications to see even more shit. Is this what I get from having airplane mode on? Really? [A/N: seriously airplane mode is the only time I get notifications like ugh] I don't respond to any of them, especially the Face Time ones. Facebook was just hate messages. Wow, news about my hospital visit spreaded quickly. I wonder how. Oh who am I kidding. I bet it was Austin. It certainly wouldn't surprise me. Not one bit. Also, about Phil's contact name, dont judge me. It isn't nice.
I walk down the different streets that could possibly lead me to my house. I could care less if I make it home, or if I'm kidnapped or raped or murdered by some serial killer. I want myself dead anyways, what worse could my life be? Right, nothing at all. I swear, I don't even make sense to myself.
*time lapse - five hours later*
Shit. Im actually standing in front of my house, like three fucking years later. I dont even know how I found it, but what the fuck ever. I need sleep. Maybe I'll get lucky and not even wake up.
I open my door with the keys i keep under the mat. Not sure why I keep them there, but I do. Except when I'm home, then they're on my kitchen counter. I am a strange ginger, if you havent picked up on that yet. But really, you shouldve.
I rush down the halls and throw myself into my room, landing face down on the dull carpet floor.
"Stupid gravity," I groan. I take it back when I said life couldn't get worse. Why? My ugly ass face hurts like a bitch now.
I haul myself up and trudge to the bed, stripping of clothes on the way, leaving myself in boxers only. I look at the clock on the bedside table and see its 12:47 am. Damn, I was out that long? Whatever, no need for idiotic maths. Its too late. Or early? Oh who even fucking cares. I just need sleep.
"I hate my life," I randomly slur aloud. I have a strange craving for alcohol, but I shouldn't. I can no way in hell go to school with a hangover. That's pretty much 10x worse than the original hell it is. Meaning I will not make it out alive. Wait a minute....
Not make it out alive? Great idea to me!
I slowly waddle to the kitchen and open my fridge. Oh shit! I still dont have any vodka from my last episode with alcohol. Eh, I have beer and gin. Good enough for me.
I get my two six packs out of the fridge and grabe a bottle of gin. Cant wait til I'm drunk, it eliminates all pain. A good thing.
I down seven of the twelve beers and three quarters of the gin. I literally cannot even fucking see right now. It feels great.
"SQUISHY SQUIDGY FALALALALA!" I screech, dancing around. I probably sound annoying, but that isn't my problem. Psh, no that's my neighbor's issue.
"Alan?" a person asks. They sound concerned but its a bluff. No one likes Alan, therefore I, Alan Ashby, can do whatever the fuck I want.
"IM FUCKING FINE GO THE FUCK AWAY, BITCH!" I yell, flinging my hands in the air.
"You're drunk," they reply. Pft, of course I am.
"NO SHIT MISTER SHERLOCK," I hiss. They roll their eyes.
"Give me the beer, Ashby," they mock. I shake my head rapidly and slap them.
"What the hell?!"
"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU FUCK WITH THE CLASSIC ROUNDABOUT, BUT ITS JUST ME!" I sing, throwing the beer someplace.
"Dammit, Alan. Settle down!" the voice yells. I can barely make out that its definately a guy.
"I BET I KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT YOU!" I scream, excited about my new discovery. The guy raises an eyebrow and laughs.
"Chill, man," he says.
"IVE BEEN PUT DOWN FOR WAY TOO LONG!" I pout. Noooo, I want to get up and be bouncy. Nothing wrong with that.
"Ugh, you're difficult kid."
"SHUT UP," I hiss. He rolls his eyes again.
"MY BODY'S FAILING, I THINK IVE HIT THE FLOOR, I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING ANYMORE!" I decide to yell out as things become more blurry and black clouds appear.
"Alan dont you leave me now!" he says. His face becomes more familiar and even more cloudy everything else appears.
"Im gonna miss your face," I whisper as I shut my eyes and fade into the darkness.
How did Jaxin Hall know where I lived?
-x-
lame update I'm sorry ;-; Oh and yeah, Jaxin is OM&M's original clean vocals guy. Check out their cover of Poker Face or the demo "No Really, Im Fine" on youtube or something. Thanks for reading though c:
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Ginger Love Palace (Cashby)
FanfictionAlan begins to fall for the one and only Austin Carlile, his best friend, right after his ex, Maddie, cheats on him. When Alan admits his feelings to Austin, he freaks out. What will happen to their relationship? <\/> SEQUEL: "Awaken With Mist...
