Don't Let Go (Sequel to Hold On JackABoy)

Chapter 47- Weak

[ Amazing Art by @emopanda (please correct me on the username if I'm wrong)]

Jack's POV

She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead.

"Jack please... please look at me." I heard a muffled Mark tune through my illusion? My thoughts?

I look up from my feet into Mark's concerned face. I was sitting in a wheelchair, in the hall.
"Wa-was it real?" I asked Mark, my voice unstable.
He closed his eyes in sorrow as he nodded. "I'm sorry Ja-" he stopped as I hung myself around him, crying.

As I cried, I could see Mak in the background awkwardly standing there. I didn't blame her, hospitals make us anxious. Well, I guess just her now, it's apparent I live here.

My mind trained back to Jade. I pulled away from Mark and just stared at the floor. I don't even think I had thoughts, it was like I was overloaded.

I felt my body lunge forward as I began moving, my wheelchair was being wheeled. I could assume it was Mark, but at this point I really don't care right now.

It was all a haze, getting to the car and getting home.
I spent most of it looking out the window, as every audio was just a slight buzzing noise.

I used whatever motivation I had to trail up Mark's path, and into his house. I made it to the bed room, sleep, sleep is what I need. But I couldn't. 

Mark eventually came in and sat on the edge of the bed. We sat there for a while until he sighed. "Jack, I know this is the last thing you want to think about... but we need to plan her funeral." His words hitting my cold frame. I just stared at the ceiling. I didn't say a word, I must have took too long as he began to leave. Once he reached the door I spoke, "Plan it," I said as he was so quick to turn on his heels.
"Use all my money, she deserves it," I finished.
"But Jack-"  he tried, "All," I cut in, as he left.

I was surprised he didn't ask me for anything, like if I was hungry. He usually asks.
He's getting tired of you.
He thinks you'll kill him.
Like you killed Jade.

I screamed at that thought, apparently I screamed out loud too. Mark and Mak came running in, both as pale as ghosts. "Jack what's wrong?" Mark asked, "Are you ok?" Mak added. I couldn't move I couldn't respond, all I could do was cry.... as always...
Worthless

I felt a body wrap around me, I think it was Mark, Mak hasn't really done much since, but it's understandable since... I mean I'm dating Mark..
His embrace was able to calm me down a bit, and I had thought I had fallen asleep. However, when I opened my eyes I felt like I had had none.

Mark had left me, and I was all alone in the dark. I had no clue what time it was and I didn't really care.
Left to my thoughts, I decided to see if I could lift my arm. I was so weak.. Carefully, but quietly, I made my way towards the bathroom across the hall. I balanced my weight on the endtable, and then the wall the rest of the way.

Once I made it to the bathroom, I quietly closed the door, and turned on the light. I wasn't able to stand anymore, so I slide down the wall, sitting on the cold tiles. I sat there for a bit, just zoning out, thinking.

After what felt like a while, I reached under the sink for the cupboards, and quietly took out all the materials, until I found it.  I assume Mark had found my old blade, leading it to not be in the altoids tin. However I couldn't just keep using broken CD pieces, it wasn't healthy. Neither is this.. I was able to grab a new blade just in case, and now it's in case.

I snagged the blade I had hidden, and neatly put back all of the cleaning, and hair supplies. Entranced on the blade, I twirled it around fingers biting my lip. "Fuck," I whispered, I didn't even know I had the energy to speak. I had pressed the blade too hard, and cut my index finger a bit.

I sucked on my finger for a second, but made no hesitation to lift up my shirt. I looked at all the faint lines from the other day, or this morning, and smiled. I switched the blade into my other hand, and brought it down to the same area. I gasped, quietly making sure to bite my lip. I had no idea how truly bad that would hurt, for that area isn't used to it. But I deserve it.

I smiled continuing biting my lip harder and harder.
I had to make sure the cuts weren't deep, but man, they did hurt. I made about 23 lines, all as long as a finger. I looked down at the blood that began to drip and bubble. I didn't properly think this through.

I scooted toward the toilet paper and held it to my side, attempting to save my clothes and Mark's floor from my blood. It's going to be hidden forever. Jade's dead, the pack is over. I waited about 10-20 minutes until I peeled back the paper. There was a lot of blood soaking the toilet paper but my wounds had stopped.

I pulled down my shirt, and looked at the wad of bloody toilet paper. Fuck.. I need to flush it and they'll know I'm here. I was going to have to muster up enough energy to get into the toilet.

I looked for more blood, but there was none. I threw the blade back under the cupboard somewhere, and lifted the toilet seat. Even weaker than earlier, I placed my palms on the toilet seat and attempted to lift myself..nope. I tried again, holding my breath. I was able to grab the top of the cupboard as well, gaining a better advantage. I lifted myself up, wobbly at that. I somehow wiggled my pants down, with the occasional help of my feet and sat down.

I sighed in accomplishment, as I threw the wad into the toilet. I began to actually pee, and then flushed the toilet. It was like the bat signal, not even 30 seconds went by, and Mark was outside the door, asking me if I was ok. I tried tried to speak, but I was too weak so I banged the cupboard. He swung the door open, as I whispered "Help, bedroom." He nodded, and helped me up.

I bit my lip at the sudden pain on my stomach, and almost laughed. He helped me pull up my pants and back to the bedroom. With no words he laid me down, tucked me in, and kissed my forehead. Leaving.

____________________
Heyo, this story is coming to an end soon!
However I have a few hidden stories in the works.
I have a
2 Phan
Danti
Destiel

I will be releasing one or two of those after this story ends, and you should totally check it out!!
If you're not following me you should rethink because great things are going to be happening!