Don't Let Go (Sequel to Hold On JackABoy)

Chapter 48- Two Hundred & Fifty

Marks POV

Mak and I sat at the breakfast bar discussing Jack.
We were so worried about him, he had locked himself away as soon as we got home 2 weeks ago.
I've tried to give him his space, but recently I've been finding that to be harder and harder.

Mak and I had already planned out Jade's funeral, and we needed to get Jack to prepare for it. However he hasn't spoke more that 2 to 4 words a day, and hasn't come out of the bedroom, unless to use the toilet.

I've been more worried about the fact he hasn't really eaten much, it took him about a week to consume something, and since then he only nibbles a little off the plates I bring him.

"Jack?" I call as I creep into the dark abyss I call our room. I frown as I see him laying eyes wide open, but with no movement. "Jack it's about time you start becoming a person again." I say flicking on the light, and rushing to open the curtains as an unknown rage fills within me.

I watch him scurry into the blankets as a moaning screech escapes him. "I'm serious Jack, Jade wouldn't want you to-" I was cut off as he flung off the blanket sitting up faster than I could believe.
"WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW YOU BARELY KNEW HER!" I blinked back as Jack roared with rage as tears pricked at his red and blotchy face.

After I was able to get over the fact that Jack could speak more that 3 words at a time and regain my thoughts I was able to rebuttal. "She was my friend too, and I know for a fact she wouldn't want you rotting a way, she'd want you to recover and go on." I yelled back, but not at the same capacity.
"Well her thoughts don't matter anymore she's dead." He said looking away, his sentence repulsing me.

"Fine be that way!" I said heading for the door, but before I could leave I turned for one last word. "Ya know Jack, maybe this is why no one sticks atound? Because it's impossible to help you!" I finished, turning on my heals and storming down the hall way.

I passed Mak who's eyes were wide, and maybe a little too hopeful. "I'm going out!"  I said possibly a bit too rudely.

I treaded down the driveway and followed the side walk. "I can't believe this... she was my friend too... he's unbelievable sometimes." I muttered as I paced.

He can't help it.
I know, but-
What if he's cutting still?
I checked though, he can't be.
But what if?
Jade just died give him a break you asshole.
'You hurt people'

"Fuck" I whispered, turning and running back the house to check on Jack. 
How could I yell at him?? How could I not check him more throughly?

Jacks POV

"Ya know Jack, maybe this is why no one sticks around? Because it's impossible to help you!" I watched wide eyes, as he stormed out after uttering the truth. "I'm impossible.." I whispered looking down at my hands and bare legs.

I jumped as I heard the front door slam. A few moments passed until I stood to my feet pacing toward the mirror. I took a deep breathe in as I gripped the hem of my shirt. Exhaling as I looked at my bony ribs, protruding from my skin, my whole side covered in fresh and healing cuts. I was three days clean, Mark still hasn't found out about my new spot. 

My eyes traced counting, but lost track at 55, as they become blurry from too much effort. There must have been at least 250 lines coving me. "I'm unhelpable."

"J-" I heard as I turned too fast, whipping around making myself dizzy. I stared down at Mark who was out of breath standing in front of me. "I-I should have known.." he mumbled, reaching for me as tears began to seep from my eyes. He pulled me into a hug, but I stayed stiff, eyes wide open as tears fell.

Finally I gave into the hug, as I began to sob grossly. My body heaved, as I cried out; cried out for everything. Jade, Mark, my inability to keep a simple promise, everything. We slowly found the floor as I cried in his arms. It wasn't until I was calming down, to where I noticed he was crying too.   

I watched from my position in Mark's lap, as he sobbed at the situation. He looked down at me and began to sob harder. "I'm sorry Jack, I'm so so sorry." He sobbed. "I should have known you weren't ok, I should have know-"
"Hey" I said, grabbing his attention. "This is no ones fault, but mine. You checked, you asked; I lied. It's my fault." I said trying to calm him down.

"I know but I should have known, I should have-"
"Hey" I said once again reaching up for his neck and pulling him down. Passionately kissing him. Our tears smudged, everything was salty, but it felt food again to have his lips on mine. 

Once I pulled away I looked into his eyes, "If Jade not changing her Pacemaker wasn't my fault, than me hurting myself isn't yours. Ok?" I asked, beginning to question if it really was my fault.

He sniffled and wiped under his nose. "O-ok" he coughed lightly, from the sniffles.
After that we went quiet, and I was certain I wanted to lay here forever, in the comfort of my boys lap.

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Sorry its been so long.
Let me know if you like it and your thoughts:))     
- Phantom