Ask Jeff and Teh Creepypastas

I am dead ;u;

Me: Fuck me....
Random Person: gladly just give me ur number and will call and pick u up at a little after 5 or 6 and we can head over to my place and Netflix and Chill the fuck out and then get to the hmm hmmmm hmmmmmm *intense eyebrow raising*
Me:..........wtf...........nah.....I'm good......
H.B: I could take up that offer!!!
Me: take it....
R.P.: will do.....but at 7.....tomorrow......cuz ur not a fluffy pile of cotton candy and marshmellows...
Slender: *impales me* no tresspassers
Me: *inhalez deeply* boi.....
Slender: ew its still alive.....I swear I impaled it correctly....like it should have gasped and then died....after it cough up blood...*stares but then again no eyes....*
Me:.....u ass.....this hurts.....but not like hell.....they welcome you with a huge smile, and its hella bigger then Jeff's ((that's what she said lol)) and when u go to hug them they stab u in the stomach repeatedly...bit the thing is it heals as soon as it leaves ur body, funny thing is the pain is still there then they cut u open with a real knife and start putting glitter and sprinkles and just throwing in the rainbow and ask "feel the rainbow, but don't taste it. For if u do u end this package of fun" and they patch u up and ship u off to Wendy's and once u get there she'll roast yo ass back to hell while in the background all u here is Sun Shine and lollipops or Kids Bop....and u wake up after the rainbow kicks in....
Slender:......wtf?!?!? Have u been to actual hell?!?!?!?!
Me:......down and back a couple times........for me its either detention or prison holding they just keep sending me back.....
Slender:....wtf.....wait.....Moon??????
Me: no I'm fucken Luigi and Im lookin for me-a brother Mario
Slender:......its been too long.....
Me:.....it still fucken hurts......this is almost what others feel like....and what I mean is some chick on shark week....anyway.....were is everyone?....*breaks branch and falls* ass!! *examines hole where stomach should be* ...just a flesh wound....yea..
Slender: watching a horror movie....Dora.....oh ill fix u up later....or have the Dr. check u out
Me:...ok.....but I'm fine.....really *part of my lung starts to fall out* see fine *stuffs it back*
   ~some sorta poof in existence and now kittens~
Me: hey I think I lost my kidney back the-
EJ: someone say kidney?!?! Oh Moon welcome back *takes kidney I didn't drop* thank you *stabs* stop leaving us
Me:.....shit.........ass......fuck.....bitch......
Slender: oh no here it is *picks up kidney that was just hanging behind me*
Me: Ty-
EJ: thank you yoink! *takes other kidney* see ya inside
Me:..................
Slender:................
Me:.............ass.....*walks in to the living room to see some of the creepypasta fam* yo....
-no one turns lol NoOnE-
Slender:...................
Me:................I'm here to fuck shit up......so first room I see imma go through their underwear d-
-everyone turns and stares-
Me: hello fellow murderers...
Everyone:....*pin drop*........
Someone spoke bit idk who: Fuck you're back....
Me: who the fuck said that?!?!?! Yea that's right keep silent u grape
Blu: *gasps*such Profanity!!!!!!! I think they are more of a blueberry....
Everyone but me: *turns to Blu with the wtf face?*
Me: ok ik I havent been here in like........ Who knows when.....and I just haven't had.....the effort to come along and update even tho I should....even if I wanna burn this so called book.....it has so many views.....lol so many its not even compared to a drop of water falling into the ocean and there is a lot other droplets out there........its been so long since I have been around.....so imma just go to my room
Blu: u have ur own room....cuz a Noob came along.....
Noob: I will stab a bitch
Me:.....well....wait is the Dr in?
Angel statue: *is pointing in the direction*
Me: thank you....now excuse me while I get a pair of kidneys and patched up....come bug me if u wanna

-hello my.beautifuls I am sorry I haven't been on in like.....who knows how long....year....months.....idk but I'm sorry I just didn't have the motivation to continue....but j guess I.will be on every now and then cuz of WiFi problems and other things....I am ever ak tired and sjgskdbajdbkwbfksbdd oj I love u guys who.....or to whom is reading this crack...for I am tired and yea......like its 12:32 and I've been up for the past couple of days so plz forgive me if I made a hella lot of mistakes and for coming back.....and tysm