He's Too Dangerous-Zayn Malik

Chapter Twenty- "I can't escape this lifestyle dammit!"

Yashita's P.O.V

Its been about a week now. A week since the whole truth came out, a week since I had a realization. A week since Harry lied to all of us. I never understood why he did it, but he said he wanted Zayn to be proud of me, that he wanted Zayn to feel closer to me. But why? Why would Harry put himself in that position just for me? "You think too much.. "Justin mumbled from beside me, lifting his eyes up from his computer screen. Katheryn and the girls had gone out today, leaving me in the house with the boys. Why didn't I go? Every time the girls go shopping with me, they pick out stupid little outfits that are way too small for my liking. "When will we all be going back to school?" I mumbled, running my hands through my hair. Honestly if I had any more time off I'd get kicked out. Although I've been doing online lessons and trying my best to catch up with course work here and there. We''ve been cooped up inside for God knows how long. "Tomorrow..." He whispered, shutting his laptop down before facing me properly. "We need to take you home.." He smiled, holding his hand out as he stood up. I frowned, following him out the door into his car. Why was he taking me home and not Zayn? Where was he anyway? I haven't seen him today, at all. "Justin, where's Zayn?" I mumbled sheepishly, looking out the window as I watched the world go by. Everyone was doing their own thing, getting on with their life whether it was good or bad.  "I don't know, he was in a bad mood this morning when he got up.. Just stormed out in anger I suppose.. That's why I'm taking you home.. Your stuff is all packed and in the boot..." Justin explained, keeping an eye on the road. 

Why would Zayn be in a bad mood? Nothing's happened for him to be so mad right? Unless he's just generally in a bad mood, which is most of the time lately. I don't know what's going on, why he's acting this way. All I can do right now is brush it under the carpet and hope for the best. "We're here.. Want me to come in for a bit?" Justin offered, turning off the engine. I nodded shyly, hopping out the car before heading to the boot, only to be pushed away. "Ill get these, you go in and say hi.." He smiled, opening the boot as I walked away. I opened the familiar door that feels like it hasn't been touched in ages, hearing small laughter and chuckled from the living room. I opened the door, seeing Tricia and mum sat on the sofa, laughing away. I coughed awkwardly, catching their attention. "Ash!" Mum cried, scooping me up in her arms tightly. She kissed the top of my head, spinning me around gently. "You're safe, you're alive! Oh my!" She exclaimed, wiping the tears that had already fallen. I looked behind her, seeing Tricia sat there, staring down at her cup. Zayn hasn't contacted her since we left, god knows what she might be thinking. "Zayn's okay too, if it wasn't for me and harry bursting in when we did, he wouldn't of been.." I mumbled, sitting beside her. I grabbed hold of her hand, squeezing it gently to tell her I was here. She smiled, hugging me tightly. "Thank you, thank you so much Yashita, you are such a blessing to us.." She cried, hopping off the sofa before hugging Justin tightly too, which I couldn't help but laugh at, partly because of his facial expressions. 

"So, you're coming home now?" Mum asked, handing Justin his drink before settling down beside Tricia. "Yep, school tomorrow too.." I smiled, realizing how much I had actually missed school. I can't wait to get back to somewhat normal in a way where I can be content with everything, or most things. No more hiding, no more being afraid of my own shadow. "Where is Zayn anyway?" Tricia asked, running her fingers through her hair before looking at the time. I just shrugged, checking my phone to see if I had anything, but nothing. Justin mumbled something awkwardly, thanking my mum for the drink, Tricia for being so kind, before he turned to me. "See you tomorrow alright?" He smiled, hugging me tightly. "He's nice.." Mum mumbled, heading into the kitchen. Justin was nice, but if you got on the wrong side of him, it wouldn't end pretty.

---------------------------------------------------

"Jesus Zayn you scared me!" I whispered harshly, covering my chest with my hand as I closed the door behind me, trying to calm myself down. I'd just spent the evening with Tricia and mum, talking about what has happened the past few weeks. It felt horrible keeping some things away from them, like the shooting, the police e.c.t. And now? Now I'm back in my room, wondering how the hell Zayn managed to get in, and where the hell he has been. "Where have you been?" I asked casually, sitting on the edge of my bed with him. All he did was sigh, shaking his head. "Trying to get out of this mess..." He whispered, wrapping his arms around me. I felt safe here, in his arms, because I know nothing can harm me. Nothing. "Like, out of the danger zone?" I wondered out aloud, wondering what he was on about. "Something like that.. I don't want you living this lifestyle Ash, its not safe.. What if we wanna settle down and have kids? Or get married? We can't keep running, or protecting our kids from shit like this..." He hissed, standing up from his place. He paced around the room, pinching the bridge of his nose, as if it was the only thing keeping him calm. "I'm trying to get out of this, to get all of us out of this... But... There isn't a way out.. "He mumbled, catching my attention. There isn't a way out. There has to be a way out, there is always a way out, of everything. There had to be a way, even if its risky, hard and confusing. Zayn's right, we can't keep running, we can't stay scared of our own shadow.

"There has to be a way Zayn! There is always a way!" I exclaimed, only making his anger worse. I don't know whether it was the fact that I was upset he didn't tell me what he was doing, or the fact we couldn't get away. But I felt mad, mad at everything. If I had only did what he said, and stayed well away this wouldn't of happened, I wouldn't be scared of everyone I see, scared of meeting new people. "Goddammit! If I had only stayed away Zayn! Jeez I could of gone on without worrying who was watching me!" I snapped, taking him by surprise. I pushed things onto the floor, tears falling from my eyes as I angered myself even more. I shouldn't be crying, no way. "I can't escape this lifestyle dammit! And nor can you!" He shouted, causing me to stop everything. I looked at Zayn, not just stare, like properly looked. I realized why I had put myself through this, why I had to push myself into this. I loved Zayn, I made him a promise. None of us wanted this, but if we stayed away, would everything fit anyway? Would life bring us together either way? No matter how hard we tired, we ended up together.

I remember one of the first things Jess said the one thing I should of payed attention to, the one thing I now understand.

He's too dangerous...