Found~Spamano

Chapter twelve

My mind kept spinning the next few days, trying to focus on what just happened to me.

'I barely even-a like that Tomato Bastard? Why the hell would I-a love him?!' I desperately asked myself.

'For one, he's way too damn cheerful all the time, way too obsessed with Tomatoes, and isn't even batting for that team for one. That I-a should know.' I thought with a frown.

(Wait, did I-a forget to mention that I bat for that team? If so, I do. And if anyone of you bastards make fun of me, it'll be the last homophobic remark you'll ever make! Also, for all the bastards who read before, I finally figured it out during those few years I was rebelling. All I did was roll over and realize I was gay. So-a yeah. Anyway, I-a hope you respect my sexuality thank you. On with the story...)

'The only people who could ever love me  is-a Feli and Grandpa Rome...' I thought sadly and had headed to my room after a day of eating tomatoes and thinking.

As I sat on my bed, I thought over the possibilities of loving someone so....idiotic. Spain is much too cheerful for me, I'm sure. Besides, why bother? I couldn't hurt someone else if I did disappear, (which better not-a happen for a long time), and I'm-a not that person who-a breaks hearts and leaves the one they love crying for them to come back. Those kind of people really piss me off.

I couldn't bare to even-a do that to somebody at all. It's-a horrible thing one can do.

Anyways, I don't love that-a tomato bastard okay?! I don't!

I'm-a sure Spain had other priorities other than-a me.

He...deserves better anyways.

~

As I paced my bedroom a few days later, processing what was-a happening to me, I figured it was time to approach the bastard and asked him what he thinks about my side of the newspaper.

Yet, when I began the conversation, it was something like-a this;

"Bastard?" I asked.

Spain looked up and grinned,

"Lovi! How are you?" He asked

cheerfully and I almost gagged.

"Fine." I answered shortly and looked away.

"Is there-a something wrong!" He asked as he stood up.

"No...you know what? Never mind, there-a isn't." I said, surprising myself and him.

I hurried away and became confused. 'Why hadn't I told him? So-a weird..' I thought to myself.

As I wandered to my room, I began to think of all possibilities of falling for te bastardo. For one, he doesn't mind me calling him a bastard, for another, he picked me instead of Feliciano, and finally, he...cared if I disappeared. So...a possibility might...suffice.

But does this-a story have a happy ending? Will I-a still be here at the end?

I couldn't do that to him, I-a couldn't do that to Feli.

Dammit! Why does this fucking suck?! Grandpa Rome had disappeared with honour, all I would disappear with is a split up Italy and nothing to accomplish! This-a is the most terrible feeling! Grandpa Rome must have been happy when he left with being a hero....

I'm-a not even that. I'm just a swearing, tomato loving, loser who can't-a figure out who he-a even loves. I'm-a so scared to fall in love if I have to leave them in the end.

I-a could never put them through that, I just...couldn't.

~

I was afraid to even-a look at Spain in the eyes anymore, and when he-a suggested to go to the beach after my studies on Spanish were done, I-a politely declined.

"Hey Romano! Want to go to the beach mi amigo?" He asked cheerfully.

I continued on looking at my text book.

"I have an essay due so, we'll have to-a go later Spain-I mean bastard..." I merely mumbled, almost like a whisper.

"Oh! Oh....yes....well, I can-a wait..." He said sadly as he continued on reading his book, not as enthusiastically as he did before.

I frowned a bit and went back to my studies, which were in-a truth, completed and ready to be mailed to the Spanish Inquiry on how-a well my performance was doing here.

I closed my-a books and Spain looked up.

"I've...finished." I grumbled and sealed up my essay.

"Really?! Oh! Let's-a go to the beach! It'll be great!" Spain said as he hopped up from the chair and disappeared down the hallway.

And for some reason as I watched him go, I couldn't help but smile.

I had gathered my books and set them back in-a the shelf, and had-a taken a quick look behind me as Spain hurried back and handed a basket over to me.

"Ready Lovi?! It'll be-a the best!" He said happily and grabbed his keys.

"Yeah....yeah...it-a will..." I muttered with a small smile as I agreed with him for once.