A Love To Remember

Chapter 50: Her Decision

Lea

Katahimikan. Pagkatapos umalis ng doktor na iyon, none of us dared to speak. Parang naputol ang mga dila namin, or, our mouths was stitched closed making us unable to say a word.

"A--no daw? Leuk--leukemia?" Kate asked, finally breaking the silence.

Leukemia, bakit leukemia pa? Sa dinami-dami ng tao sa mundo, bakit si Chiara pa? Bakit anak ko pa?

Parusa ba 'to sa' kin sa lahat ng mga kasalanan ko sa buhay? If so, I should be the one who's supposed to carry that punishment, not her! Seeing Chiara in that situation breaks my heart na kahit ako, nahihirapan na ring huminga ng maayos, naninikip ang dibdib ko.

"She's going to be alright, 'di ba?" tanong naman ni Analaine and from my peripheral vision, I can see her looking at me na tila ba, hinihintay ang pagsagot ko sa tanong niya.

Unti-unti naman akong tumango at napakagat-labi na lang to prevent my tears from falling, basang-basa na ang pisngi ko sa kakaiyak, ayaw ko ng umiyak, crying is the number one way of showing someone your weakness and in our situation, I don't want to show anyone how weak I am. I don't want to.

"Of co--course she's going to be alright! Si Chia-chiara iyan 'di ba? Palaban iyan eh. She can fight and win this battle, she must." I answered while stuttering, she will be okay. She will be.

Naramdaman ko ang biglaang paghawak ni Aga sa kamay ko as he look at me and smiled, making me feel better. Ang gaan sa pakiramdam na makitang ngumiti ang taong mahal mo, somehow, nabawasan ang bigat sa dibdib ko.

"I need some fresh air, Analaine, tara nga muna sa labas, samahan mo ako." Kate said and before Analaine can answer, she pulled her arms right away at hinila ito palabas ng silid, leaving the three of us behind.

"There are cancer survivors after being diagnosed with leukemia, 'di ba?" I asked him na ngayo'y nakatingin lang sa natutulog pa ring si Chiara.

"There are but they've gone through a lot just to survive their sickness, Chiara can do it babes, nakaya nga niyang umakyat sa bakod ng bahay while wearing her school uniform ng walang kahirap-hirap, leukemia pa kaya?" sagot nito at bahagya pang tumawa but I can still see sadness through his eyes, napailing na lang ako.

"Lokohin mo na sila, 'wag lang ako. One of the hardest thing in life is to pretend that you're okay but in fact you're not. It's hard to pretend but it's easy to convince yourself that you're fine, you get my point? Mahirap man, just keep on convincing yourself na magiging okay din ang lahat, don't loose hope, makakaya natin 'to." I told him.

Ang galing ko rin magsalita eh 'no? I told him not to loose hope, to convince himself na magiging okay rin ang lahat pero ako nga ito, hindi magawa iyan.

But it's way better to see him smiling, sa ngayon, siya na lang ang natitirang lakas ko kaya sa tuwing nagiging miserable siya, mas dumudoble lang ang bigat sa puso ko.

"Kaya mahal kita eh." he said as he pulled me as our lips met, aba malandi! Nagawa pang lumandi sa gantong pagkakataon, I tried to move so I can free myself from his grip pero mas lalo niya lang 'tong hinigpitan.

"Please, go get a room.." kaagad ko siyang naitulak upon hearing a familiar voice as my eyes started to water again nang tuluyan ng magising si Chiara na ngayo'y nakaupo na habang nakasandal sa headboard ng kama niya, looking at us with disgust pero hindi maialis ang ngiti sa labi nito.

"Chiara!" I exclaimed at kaagad na lumapit sa gawi niya and gave her a tight hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry anak, please forgive me. I'm sorry." paulit-ulit kong sambit, still hugging her.