A Love To Remember

Blur

Disclaimer: This story contains sensitive topics (for instance, self harm.) Reader discretion is advised. Read at your own risk.

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Chiara

Diretso ang tingin ko sa blade na hawak-hawak ko.

Here I am again, stuck in this situation wherein I get to decide if I really want to end my life or not.

Wala namang kwenta at saysay ang buhay ko so, why not end it, 'di ba? Nagsasayang lang ako ng oxygen, this world is over populated, dadagdag pa ba ako sa problema ng gobyerno?

On the other hand, this situation isn't the first time.

Ilang beses ko na bang pinagtangkaan ang buhay ko? Isa? Dalawa? Tatlo? Apat— apat na beses ko ng pinagtangkaan ang walang kwenta kong buhay but for Pete's sake, look at me now! Still alive and barely breathing.

Ewan ko ba kung ba't 'di pa ako mamatay-matay. Sabi raw nila, kapag nagawa mong makaligtas mula sa isang life and death situation, maswerte ka raw at hindi mo pa oras.

Marami ka pang dapat gawin sa mundong ito but in my case? No one in this world gives a single damn about my existence, ano pa kaya ang maaring gawin ko sa mundong ito? Cure cancer? Stop global warming? I don't know.

Tinignan ko ulit ang pulsuhan ko at hindi ko maiwasan ang hindi mapangiwi upon seeing a couple of stitches. Both of my wrists have stitches that's why I spend almost half an hour every morning just to cover them up.

Napairap na lang ako. Kung ano-ano pa kasi ang iniisip, papatayin na nga lang ang sarili, madami pang satsat. Stupid Chiara.

I was about to push the blade unto my bare wrist not until I heard numerous knocks coming from the door of my room, making me groan in frustration.

Sinasabi ko na nga ba! Just like I expected, there will be an intruder. How nice, insert 360 degree worth of sarcasm.

"Chiara, open the door!" I heard a manly voice yelling from the outside.

It's the great Aga Muhlach, an actor, a business man and most importantly, my Dad. But hey, he never acted like one so let's take the last option away.

"I'm busy!" I yelled back, I'm busy killing myself not until you interrupted, which is so not cool.

"Chiara Isabel, bubuksan mo ba 'tong pintuan mo o ako mismo ang sisira nito?" he screamed once more, mentioning my full name and okay; he's pretty serious but, as if I'm scared.

I exaggeratedly rolled my eye as I hid the blade under my bed sheets and stood up to open the door for thy highness.

"What?" I asked, annoyed. Nakatayo siya sa labas ng kwarto ko with his arms crossed around his chest, looking at me in disbelief.

"You're still in your PJs? Didn't I told you yesterday to fix yourself because we're going to have some visitors coming over?" wika nito and shit, oo nga pala! He told me about that yesterday which unfortunately, I forgot to do so but who cares, as if it's something really important.

"I forgot." ani ko, I should be apologizing by now but hell, that word is not in my dictionary so, never mind.

He sighed. "Then, better fix yourself right now, please lang anak, umayos ka sa harap ng mga bisita natin mamaya." pakiusap nito na may halong pagbabanta.

I want to defend myself, I want to tell him that I'm harmless but that will be in no use since he really thinks that I'm a badass witch, which is true but, still! Couldn't he be more considerate?