Accidental Life (On Hold)

Chapter Ten

Clary's POV

That damn procedure hurt so much and they gave me some pain pills that made me extremely tired, but I couldn't help but hate myself a little for doing this.

I went against everything I believed in. But, I couldn't bear to have his baby. I couldn't give birth to a baby that had Sebastard's blood running through it's veins.

"Clary?" We neared the hospital exit as dad pushed me in a wheelchair when I heard Jace's voice.

"Go away." I mumbled with my eyes closed.

"No. Simon said you caught a bug, wanted me to come home to check on you. What are you doing at the hospital?"

"Fuck off, Jace. I really don't want to talk to anyone right now."

"I don't give a shit. What were you doing here?" I sighed.

"Daddy, you'll go pull the car around?"

"Sure. I'll be back in a few." He parked my wheelchair right by the automatic doors and Jace kneeled down in front of me.

"Why did you leave Hawaii? You were crying, that's not exactly something one does when they're sick."

"Nothing about my life is any of your business. Tell Simon that I'm fine and I can't wait to see him when the honeymoon is over."

"Not happening until you tell me why you're here."

"None of your business."

"Fine. I'll just call Simon and ask him if he knows why you're leaving the hospital."

"Don't! God, now I am starting to hate you."

"Why are you here?"

"I had an abortion." I whispered.

"What?"

"I had a fucking abortion. Happy now?" He looked shocked by my words.

"No, I'm not happy. You said that aborting a baby was against everything you believed in. What changed?"

"Nothing changed, it is still against everything I believe in. But, I couldn't have his baby. And, don't tell Simon, I will tell him on my own time. I just want him to have fun on his honeymoon without having to worry about me."

"Okay. I won't tell anyone."

"Time to go, princess." I nodded and let dad pull me to my feet, but winced at the pain in my pelvic area.

He helped me into the passenger side and laid the seat back for me. "Thank you, daddy." He nodded and got in the driver's side of his black SUV before driving off.

"Everyone would understand why you did this, baby girl. No one will blame you."

"I blame me. I feel so bad about it, but I could never have raised his child and I could never have given it up for adoption. What choice did I have?" I cried into my arm.

"Baby-"

"Don't try to make me feel better, I won't." He sighed and turned back to the road as the light turned green.

"No matter what, I will always love you." I ignored him and just closed my eyes, falling asleep soon after.

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"Happy Birthday, my little princess." I spoke to my now one year old daughter. She's been in an amazing mood and she hasn't really talked yet, more babbling than saying actual words, but life for the both of us has been so much better than it was at the beginning of this year.

We had her birthday party yesterday, so it's just family going to lunch today, whereas we had her pretty pink princess party yesterday.

"Ready to go, babies?" I smiled up at my dad as he grabbed the diaper bag.

"Yes we are. So, Simon's bringing the cupcakes, right?" He nodded and led us out of the house as I held Lily on my hip as she babbled.

"I just talked to him before we got here, he's on his way to Taki's now and he does have the cupcakes." I nodded and buckled Lily into her carseat in the backseat of dad's SUV.

"Alright, then. Let's get going." I hopped into the passenger seat and buckled up, turning on the radio as we headed off to Taki's.

We got there and met Simon at the back table that fit about twelve. Eventually, Alec, Magnus, Izzy, Maryse, Robert, Max and Jon joined us.

"She is a beautiful little one year old." I smiled at Maryse as she gave me my daughter back.

"I know she is, I spawned her." We laughed and the waitress came back with our drinks.

"Jace, what are you doing here?" Robert spoke and I looked behind us as Jace stood at the cash register.

"I was going to order takeout. What are all of you doing?"

"It's Clary's daughter's birthday, so we're having a little birthday dinner." Izzy said, holding Simon's hand on the table.

"Oh, okay. I'll see you guys at dinner tomorrow."

"Why don't you join us? Clary, you don't mind, do you?" I shook my head at Maryse.

"Of course, I don't mind." I bounced Lily on my knee.

"Um, sure." He sat down at the end of the table beside Max.

"Mama." I immediately turned my attention to my daughter.

"What? Say it again, baby."

"Mama." I smiled brightly and kissed my daughter's cheek.

"Oh, my beautiful little princess." I hugged her to my chest and she returned to her babbling. "You said your first word on your first birthday." I set her back in my lap and began feeding her a pink cupcake.

"So, how has it been balancing Lily and work?" Maryse asked.

"Not bad, actually. I have a nanny to watch Lily during work hours, but I think I balance it pretty well for a first time mom."

"You are doing an amazing job raising your baby biscuit. And she has the best uncle in the world." I laughed at Magnus.

"Thanks, and yes she does. She does have the best four uncles she could ever even hope for." I sighed. "Okay, I have to go to the restroom, which one of you wants to hold her?"

Maryse, Izzy, Alec, Magnus and Simon all raised their hands.

I stood and handed her over to Alec, who was sitting right across from me.

Walking to the restroom, I turned and saw Jace staring at my ass. I rolled my eyes and walked in, doing my business and washing my hands.

As soon as I walked out of the restroom, I was met with Jace standing there. "Hey, um, can we talk?"

"About?" I asked. We were hidden behind a small wall, so I didn't have to worry about anyone asking me why I was talking to Jace.

"The girl. Um-"

"Lily."

"Right. Lily. So, I know that we agreed that I wouldn't have anything to do with her, but I do want something to do with her. I realized that I've missed a whole year of my daughter's life and I don't want to miss any more."

"No."

"Clary-"

"No." I walked back to the table and took my baby from Magnus before sitting back down.

Jace came back a few minutes later, but I ignored him, didn't even look at him.

She is my child and I don't want Jace's kind of environment around her.....