Accidental Life (On Hold)

Chapter Twelve

Clary's POV

I sighed as I got home from work, but smiled as my baby girl waddled over to me with her arms out. I dropped my bag and lifted her up into my arms.

She gave me a kiss on the lips and started chewing on her fingers, coating them with saliva.

"Okay, I am out of here, Simon and I are having dinner at Taki's. See ya." I smiled at Iz.

"See ya. Thank you for babysitting."

"Anytime, you know I love babies. Especially this one." She kissed Lily's cheek, making her giggle and bury her face in my neck. "Bye."

"Bye, Iz." I'm really glad that she wasn't mad at me about the whole Jace situation.

I kicked off my heels by the front door and set Lily down in her play area while I walked to the kitchen and got down a sippy cup, filling it with apple juice.

A knock sounded at the front door and I closed the fridge, twisting the lid onto the sippy cup as I hurried to the door.

I flung it open and scoffed. "What do you want?" I asked and he held out a coffee from Starbucks.

"Coffee. And, to talk." I moved to close the door. "Not about Lily, I promise." I opened the door and he smiled slightly. "Can I come in?" I sighed and walked back to Lily, leaving the door open for him.

"Well, doesn't someone need a diaper change." I laughed and picked her up, setting the sippy cup on the coffee table. "We will be back, she just blew through her diaper." He nodded and I walked upstairs, setting her on my bed and grabbing a diaper.

I changed her diaper and changed out of my work clothes and into a pair of sweatpants, a white t-shirt with a black crop top underneath and I pulled my hair into a messy bun.

We returned downstairs and Jace was sitting on the couch, looking around the living room.

"Okay, Lily, go play." I set her down and she waddled over to her barbie dolls. I sat down on the other end of the couch and he offered me one of the coffees. "Alright, so what do you want?"

"I don't know. Okay? I don't know what to do here with you, with Lily. I just want to know her and I want to know you. About your life, your past."

"I'll never tell you about my past."

"Okay, maybe not your past. Look, I want to be here and I know that I missed out on a lot and I only have myself to blame, but I really want this. Please, just give me a chance."

"Fine. But, the first time you hurt my daughter, you're dead and gone."

"Understood." I looked to Lily as she walked to me and held out her arms, so I picked her up and she laid her head down on my shoulder.

"You tired?" She nodded into my neck. "Bedtime's in an hour, wanna watch Paw Patrol?" She brightened up and faced the tv while laying against my front. "Jace, hand her the sippy cup."

He pointed to the pink one and I nodded. He picked it up and handed it to her, but she barely noticed him, just took the sippy cup and started drinking it, never taking her eyes off the screen.

"This is a normal thing for you guys?"

"Yep. Lily is absolutely in love with Paw Patrol and has been since it first came on." I said and rubbed circles into her belly.

"So, you just sit here and watch a kiddy show?" I nodded. "Fun." I laughed.

"Not everything is fun when it comes to raising a baby. You're gonna have to do this too if you want to be a part of her life."

"I can do that."

"Sure you can. Are you staying for a while?"

"If you don't mind."

"Order a pizza and I'll let you stay. Pepperoni and whatever you want on it." He stood with his phone and walked to the dining room to order the pizza.

"It's ordered, should be here in forty minutes." I nodded and stared down at my baby girl as she began to fall asleep.

"You want to help me put her to bed?" He immediately nodded and I stood up, turning her to lay her head on my shoulder.

We walked upstairs and into Lily's room, Jace following. I laid Lily down on her changing table and looked to her dresser.

"Can you get me a pair of pajamas for her? Second drawer on the left." I couldn't leave Lily alone on the table with the possibility of her rolling off of it.

He walked to the dresser and pulled out her favorite pink footie pajamas before handing them to me.

I dressed her and laid her down in her crib, covering her up and letting her drink the apple juice as she fell back asleep.

Jace joined me in staring down at our baby girl, holding onto the outside of the crib.

"She's cute. My hair, your eyes." I nodded at him.

"I know. Come on." I grabbed the baby monitor and we left the room, closing the door behind us before returning to the couch downstairs.

The doorbell rang and Jace went to get it, knowing that it was the pizza.

He paid the man while I got napkins and my phone from the kitchen.

"Pepperoni and Sausage pizza, half and half." We sat back down and dug into the pizza.

"So, you really want to be in her life?" I asked.

"I really do. And, I'll do whatever you need for me to make up for this past year. I shouldn't have made you be a single mother."

"I did okay without you, but I wasn't really a single mother. Everyone I knew was always there for me if I needed it."

Before he could respond, my home phone started ringing and I picked it up, confused by the person calling me.

"Patrick? Why are you calling?"

"Clary, I am so sorry, I completely forgot to call you."

"Call me about what?"

"Your mother was released from jail two weeks ago. She got early parole for good behavior. I am so, so sorry."

"She's what?" Tears immediately formed in my eyes as I stood and walked a bit away from the couch.

"She was released. I can probably set you up with a restraining order if she calls you or if you encounter her somewhere. I really am sorry, sweetie."

"I know you are." My voice cracked. "Thank you for letting me know."

I hung up the phone and picked up my cell phone as an unknown number called. I knew that it may be her, but I answered it anyway, hoping I was wrong.

"Hello?" I questioned.

"Clarissa." I took in a sharp breath at the voice. "Please don't hang up on me. I need to apologize for everything I put you through and I know that this probably doesn't mean a damn thing to you, but I want to see you and I want you to forgive me, if possible."

"Not possible. Never will I ever forgive you, you fucking bitch. You ruined my life in so many ways since I was four fucking years old. Call me again and you'll be getting a restraining order. I want nothing to do with you and I wish you would've just died in prison." I hung up the phone and threw it at the wall, unable to control my emotions.

Fear, anger, hatred.

"Are you okay?" Jace asked and I stormed to the stairs.

"Lock the fucking door on your way out." I said and walked into my bedroom, closing the door and locking it before bursting into sobs, flashbacks of my past just swarming in my head.

Why did my life have to be this way?