Accidental Life (On Hold)

Chapter Seventeen

Clary's POV 

Pregnant. I'm pregnant. How in the fucking hell does this happen, by the same guy, twice? How? How? How? 

"Clary?" I looked up at Jon. "You okay? You kind of zoned out." 

"I'm fine. I was just thinking." We browsed the store and I smiled as Lily grabbed onto a Nickelback cd. "That's my girl." I took the cd and put it back, replacing it with one of her stuffed animals. 

"What were you thinking about?" 

"Painting. I need to get more supplies before the end of the week." He nodded and picked up multiple boxes of spaghetti noodles and tomato sauce. Then, we got the macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, cereal, chips, goldfish crackers for Lily, milk, apple juice. 

"You need coffee?" Can't have coffee if I'm pregnant. 

"No, I'm good." We got to the register and I paid for everything before we loaded up the car and headed home.

I'm at least two months pregnant, since that was when we had sex. I have to tell him. "Okay, seriously, what's up with you?"

"What do you mean?" I looked up at Jon as we stopped at a stoplight.

"You've been zoning out all day, always coming up with some kind of excuse. What's going on?" I looked down at my lap.

"I can't tell you yet."

"Why not?"

"I have to tell him first."

"Who?" I unconsciously placed a hand on my belly and he noticed. "You're pregnant?" I could hear the smile in his voice and looked up at him.

"Yeah. But, I wanted to tell the dad first." His brows furrowed in confusion.

"How could you be pregnant? You haven't been around any guys." His eyes went wide. "Except...." he quickly looked down at me. "No! Not him!" I nodded. "Damn it, Clary!" He turned on the wrong street.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere else." I sighed.

"Jon, don't take me there. Please." We kept going and he ignored me until the moment we parked outside the Lightwood's.

I hurriedly got out and grabbed Lily from the backseat before rushing in after Jon.

"Where is he?!" Jon yelled and Maryse pointed to the living room.

"Jon, don't! Leave it alone!" I yelled at him Izzy took Lily into the other room.

I watched Jon approach Jace as he sat on the couch and he stood up when he saw Jon coming, a confused look on his face.

"Something wrong?" Jon immediately threw a punch, hitting Jace square in the jaw.

"Jonathan, stop it!" I screamed and he looked back at me, breathing heavily and I glanced at Jace as he wiped the blood from his lip.

"What the fuck was that for?!" Jace fumed and stood up.

"You got my sister pregnant." Jace sighed.

"Dude, that was like two years ago. Why the sudden burst of anger?" I felt the tears fall from my eyes and Jace looked to me as I held onto my stomach, feeling a bit nauseous. "Clary?" He looked down at my hand and smiled slightly. "Are you pregnant?" I nodded slowly. "Holy shit."

His smile only grew as the moments of silence passed. The nausea was too much and I took off running to the closest bathroom.

I collapsed in front of the toilet and puked up my breakfast from this morning.

A hand came and held my hair back while the other rubbed my back. 

When I finished, I looked back at Jace and leaned against the wall. "You're pregnant." 

"I am." His smile returned. "You're happy about this?" 

"Of course, I am!" He exclaimed. "Aren't you?" 

"I-I'm still adjusting. I got pregnant by the same guy that left me alone to raise our last child. How do I know that you won't do the same thing with this one?" He sat in front of me and wiped away my tears with his thumbs. 

"You don't. You just have to trust me when I say, I will be there for every little thing, every kick, every appointment, every shopping trip. I want this with you. I want it so badly. I missed everything with Lily and I know that that was my fault, but I want to be there for everything with this one. If you'll let me?" 

I sniffled and nodded, which made him lean in to kiss me, but I stopped him with my finger on his lips. 

He opened his eyes and pulled away, confused. "You may by the father of my children, but that doesn't mean that we're together. We were together twice, for the creation of our babies, but it won't happen again." 

"But-" 

"No, Jace. I don't do relationships. I'm not good at them." 

"Because of your past?" I nodded. "I don't care about what happened, I want you and I and our kids as a family." 

"We can still be a family, just not a 'together' family." 

"But, I'm okay with it." 

"It's not about you. It's about me and what I'm comfortable with, and being with you, will not make me comfortable. I tried the dating thing, it's just not for me." 

"You couldn't even try it with me?" 

"I'd rather not." He nodded, disappointment clear in his eyes. 

"Okay. Baby daddy it is." He stood and helped me up, taking out a toothbrush and toothpaste from underneath the sink. "I'll be in the living room when you're done." He walked out. 

I knew that he was angry, upset, disappointed, but I can't change how I feel. 

I began to brush my teeth and Jon walked in, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.

"I'm sorry, Clare. I shouldn't have told him, you should've been the one to tell him about the baby, not me. Are you mad?" I shook my head and rinsed out my mouth before turning to him. 

"I'm not mad that you told him, I'm mad that you hit him." He nodded with his head down, not making eye contact. "But," He stared into my green eyes. "I understand why you did it. You just wanted to protect us." 

"Yeah. I'm really sorry, baby." 

"It's okay, I forgive you." 

"So, what happened with Jace? He looked upset when he came back to the living room." 

"He wanted us to be together, but I told him that I didn't want that. I'm not good with relationships, you know that." 

"I know, baby." He rubbed circles into my sides before smiling. "I'm gonna be an uncle again." 

"I'm gonna be a mom again. God, this is going to be very difficult. Sharing the baby with Jace, I didn't have to do that last time." 

"We'll figure it out." He leaned down and kissed my forehead. 

I'm pregnant. 

Holy shit.