Dreams of an Absolution

A Chat With Shadow

I walked the streets, houses stirring with families getting up children being rushed off to school parents getting ready for work. Here I was, alone. The mothers hugged their children and kissed them before they got on the bus. I felt like hiding from the world and crying. I was so deep in my sorrow and thoughts that I wasn’t paying much attention to where I was going. I bumped into some one.

I straightened myself up snapping out of my pity party, “Oh, I’m sorry!”

“Yeah no problem.” Shadow’s voice answered back, “Is it too early in the morning for you too?” He asked turning around to face me.

“Oh it’s you Shadow.” I said surprised. I’m so used to calling him by his name, I wonder if it’s possible to call him ‘dad’.  ….No it just felt too weird.

“Yep, just me.” He grumbled, “They’re setting up this convention for … I don’t give a shit, but anyway so early in the god damn morning. I was up at 4am today!” He bunched a fist.

“Wow.”

“What are you doing up?” He asked.

“I uh, have to get an early start on my mission.” I said quickly.

“Oh that’s right… need any help?”

“Uh n-no.” I grumbled. The only way he could help me is by getting with Amy.

“Alright then.” He shrugged.

“Hey I thought you were only called in on special missions, what’s so special about this convention to have you as security?”

He smirked, “I am only called in on special missions. This isn’t a mission though; I’m doing it for extra hours, to keep myself busy. If I wasn’t doing this I’d be at home left alone with my thoughts… and that’s enough to commit suicide.” He chuckled to himself, “If it were possible.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

He frowned, “It’s a bad habit of looking back on the tragic past and blaming myself for all the deaths that had taken place.”

What’s he talking about?

“It’s a long story; I’d rather not get into it right now. If it was up to me no body would know about it. But Rouge hacked into GUN files, reporters snooped around. Now it’s a wide known story, I swear people tell it to their children at story time.” He rolled his eyes.

“Oh…that must be hard.” I said.

“You look a little depressed there Silver, it’s kind of creeping me out. It makes it look like I’m in a happy go lucky mood and I swear I’m not. I can rip the head off of the person who said ‘let’s have security come in at 4am’.”

“Yeah, sorry. I just… I guess I just had a disturbing dream that I can’t seem to get out of my mind.”

Shadow looked at me his ears twitched and he tilted his head, “You get them too?”

I nodded, “I think it was about something that happened to me that I managed to suppress from my memory for a very long time. But it just broke out of where, where ever I was hiding it.”

His hand came down on my shoulder, “That’s like every night for me.”

“How do you sleep then?” I grumbled. I couldn’t imagine having that dream over and over again let alone anything else like it.

“Not very often.” He said, “Let’s talk this over coffee.” He led the way to a room inside the building that was being filled with tables and people. Whatever this convention thing is, it’s going to be big. We walked into a room that had a table of snacks and refreshments. Shadow walked over to the counter and got a cup and poured some coffee.