Broken

Red In My Ledger, Red On My Name

"There's a reckoning a-coming and it burns beyond the grave, its lead inside my belly cause my soul has lost its way. Oh, Lazarus. How did your debts get paid? Oh, Lazarus. Were you so afraid?"
~Blood on my name - Brothers Bright

I stood there, unsure of what to do, but luckily Belladonna's eyes opened and she sat up, looking at me. She quickly stood up and rushed over to me, wrapping me in her embrace.
"I thought I lost you." She whispered in my ear.
I didn't know how to process anything that was happening at the moment, my strange dream still on replay in my mind.
I was ripped away from my thoughts by the sudden feeling of her lips against mine. It was gentle, her lips were soft and cool against mine.
My eyes began to fill with a bright light, when it faded my mind was filled with blurry images.
Belladonna, but her
eyes were wrong. The world ingulfed in purple flames. A creature that looked like Belladonna but I couldn't tell for sure. Me laying on my back slowly bleeding out and Dean right beside me.
I opened my eyes to see Belladonna staring at me, an echo of someone laughing rung in my ears as I looked at her.
"Is something wrong?" She asked sweetly.
"What? N-no, you just uh surprised me." I said with a fake smile.
"How are you feeling?" She asked as she stepped away, turning towards the metal door.
"Strange. I feel great but also like crap." I scratched the back of my neck, trying to act natural.
"Well, I suppose what your feeling could be worse, but I am thankful that you are somewhat still feeling normal." She turned to face me, a smile upon her face but it was the shade of her eyes that gave me the feeling she was disappointed.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"I believe you just did." Her face was twisted with confusion.
This is just like when I asked Cas this, Jesus will I ever learn?
"No-nevermind. Belladona, what exactly is in trapped inside of Cyris?"
I got straight to the point, I needed as much information as possible, the more I knew, the more I could possibly prevent what I saw in my vision. She looked at me and sighed, her eyes became dull.
"As I have said before, there are many powerful and dangerous creatures trapped inside Cyris. However, none compare to Apollyon. His very name means 'The Destroyer' and he is more powerful than you can even comprehend. The fact the Cyris has been able to hold him is surprising, even to me." The more she spoke, the stronger the sinking feeling in my gut gained in intensity.

"How come I've never heard of him?"
"He is far too old. For instance, you did not know about me but here I am."
"I should tell Dean and Cas, we are going to need all the help we can get."
"I think that would be unwise, Sam."
"Why?"
"They would be more of a distraction then help. You would be focused on them, not the task at hand."
"Trust me, I'll be focused." I scoffed at her.
"Sam I-"
"How could you possibly know if I would be focused or not? You don't know me, Belladonna!" I yelled, I felt this unnatural anger building inside of me and I wasn't sure I could control it for much longer.
"You underestimate me, boy." She growled, "My power exceeds your comprehension. In fact I believe I know you better than you know yourself. Every time we've touched, or even made eye contact, I have been able to look into your mind Sam and see your whole life. Every moment, every thought, every feeling. I saw it, felt it, lived it. You being Lucifer's true vessel, is not the only reason I picked you for this task, there are bigger things at stake than what you or I may feel! So let us push aside our petty disagreement and prepare to save this world!"
Her eyes were almost black, her anger visible in every expression and word. Her anger only fuiled mine it seemed. My fist clenched, I restrained myself from letting go, from letting the anger consume me.
"I'm calling Dean and Castiel, I'd rather have back up and end up not needing to use it then not having back up and needing it." I said through gritted teeth.
"If this fails, it is on you."

She turned and walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I looked at the screen of my phone with hesitation. The last time I had seen Dean was before I descended into the cage. Taking a deep breath, I hit dial and held the phone to my ear.
"Sammy?" I heard a desperate sounding voice ask after the second ring. I can only imagine what Dean has been going through.
"Yeah, Dean, its me."
"Damn it's good to hear your voice, brother." He said, sounding somewhat relieved.
"Listen, we need to talk." I said with a sigh.
"Just tell me where."

After I had told Dean and Cas where to meet me, I went to leave, stopping to tell Belladonna first.
"I'm gonna go meet Dean, I shouldn't be long." She was seated next to a broken window, staring at the gray sky's that threatened to release heavy rain. She simply nodded in response.
As I turned to leave, excruciating pain consumed my head. My fingers tanged in my hair, I fell to my knees, gasping in pain. I closed my eyes only to see fire, hearing Lucifer's laughter I couldn't make sense of any of it. Within the fire however, I saw all the good times I had with Dean, I was Jessica laughing at a Halloween party, I saw Bobby teaching Dean and I how to play ball. I could feel the heat on my skin, felt the ache in my bones but also the joy and love in my heart. Just as soon as the "vision" appeared, it vanished and I could breathe again. Blinking rapidly, I stood up to find Belladonna beside me.
"Was it Heaven or Hell you saw with your eyes closed?" She asked before she walked past me.
Not sure of what else to do, I left and went to meet Dean and Cas. By the time I had gotten to the meeting place in front of an abandoned church, Dean and Cas were sitting in the impala waiting for me. After a brief exchange of "hello-how-are-you's" we got down to business.
"After all of this, you're still going to go through with it?" Dean asked dumbfounded.
"Apollyon can't get out Dean, he'll end the world as we know it, I need to try." I reasoned.
"You don't have to do this Sam." Dean pleaded.
"Your brother maybe right, we can look for another way Sam." Cas agreed.
"We don't have time, besides I need to do this."
"Why? Why you?" Dean's eyebrows furrowed, his face twisted in confusion and anger.
"Because I've got blood on my name and this will wipe it clean."
I told them thinking back to the nightmare I had had earlier that day. Dean is not going to die because of me again.

Chapter Twelve coming soon....

Also don't forget to vote and comment! I love hearing from you guys!❤