Gazing at the Stars

Chapter 4

I successfully avoided Yamaguchi for over 24 hours. When I woke up, I couldn't sleep. I almost decided against going to school, but then I realized we had that math test, plus Yamaguchi would wonder where I am at, and might come visit, which is worse. So, at the last minute, I got ready and headed to school, and successfully went late enough that Yamaguchi was already there. He was distracted by Kageyama, so other than asking why I was late, I was able to avoid him. Then, we had classes, and I just acted super focused on the lesson and the test. Afternoon practice was the same, and I ended up being out of there before anyone else. I went home and tried to think of anything but Yamaguchi, but it didn't work perfect. The only things that helped were schoolwork, then music... until every song seemed to become about Yamaguchi.

I am a disgusting, love-struck teenager. No.

I went to bed early, and before I knew it, it was the next day, Friday. I knew I wasn't going to get off as easy today, especially after ditching Yamaguchi after practice. When I met up with Yamaguchi at the spot we normally run into each other, I couldn't help but feel guilt.

"Tsukki, where were you yesterday? You ran off before I could say goodbye." Yamaguchi said, worried. I huffed and glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.

"I just wanted to get home, I was tired." I tell him, leaving out the whole 'tired of this whole love thing.'

"I ended up going to eat with Kageyama and back to his house." Yamaguchi tells me, and I flinch. I am an idiot, of course he'd find something to do if I ran off. Why wouldn't he? This is all my stupid ass fault. "It was fun."

"Yeah." I respond, trying to distance myself from this conversation. I don't want to know what they did.

"We played some video games and ended up watching this TV show on Netflix. I don't know what it is called, but I think I am going to have to watch it regularly now." Yamaguchi gushed about his evening with Kageyama, and I felt like I wanted to puke. Luckily we were soon at the school, and practice started.

"Tadashi!" Kageyama greeted, and my heart slowed. Did he just-

"Hey, Tobio!" Yamaguchi responded, and I felt my heart stop. They call each other by first names now? I don't even call him by his first name...

They went off talking about their hangout and I was left heartbroken behind.

The day passed by quick, with limited chatting with Yamaguchi, until I remembered that he came over on Friday afternoons, every week, to spend the night. We packed up after practice, and before I knew it, we were in my bedroom. The whole way home, I debated about something that I should do, and was back and forth. But, I decided I needed to do it. I must tell him; I need to be strong like the guy in my dreams.

I dragged the cot he sleeps on into my room and got pillows and blankets for it, for when we decided to go to sleep. We still had time, though. We were watching this comedy in my room and laughing about it. It was really funny, for once.

When it finished, I glanced at Yamaguchi after I finished chuckling, and found him still laughing hard. I just took a few minutes to appreciate his face, and his laugh. He was beautiful and his laugh was music.

"Yamaguchi-"

"Tsukishima-"

We both spoke at the same time, and he chuckled nervously, and I smirked at him.

"Sorry Tsukki, you go first." He tells me and I shook my head.

"No, it's fine Yamaguchi, you go first." I respond, and he shrugs.

"Tsukki," he starts, and by the tone of his voice, I don't think it's going to be good. He is never serious. "I think I am in love with Tobio."

And just like that, my world shattered into a million pieces. Sure, I knew they became friends. I knew they flirted. I could tell by looking at Tobio that he might have a small crush. But, I didn't expect Yamaguchi to tell me that he was in love with him.