Gazing at the Stars

Chapter 6

I wake up in a panic, screaming. I quickly realize that I am safe, and shut up before I wake anyone up. Another nightmare.

Literally, I haven't slept at all, and here I am waking up for a third time with a nightmare.

4 AM.

I groan and get out of my bed, on a mission. A mission I didn't want to go on, but I needed it. I slide on my t-shirt and open my bedroom door, shutting it quietly behind me. I take a few steps, and knock softly on the door in front of me.

After some shuffling, the door cracks open, and one look into Akiteru's eyes and I feel tears fall from my eyes.

He grabs my shoulders and pulls me into his bedroom, shutting the door.

"What is it, Kei?" He asks carefully, and I feel my shoulders shaking. "Kei."

Akiteru's hand on my shoulder startles me and I glance up at him, and once he sees my face, he pulls me into a hug. My face is crushed against his chest as I sob.

"I-" I start, choking. "Have you ever been in love?"

Akiteru freezes for a moment before regaining composure. He walks across the room and sits on the bed, pulling me next to him.

"Of course I have, more than once. Why?" Akiteru asks, and I sigh. Whatever is making me tell him needs to stop.

"You see-where do I start..."

"The beginning is the best." Akiteru tells me and I sigh, preparing for embarrassment.

"I, you see... I had this person in my life. Sure, they would piss me off, but I sincerely cared about them. Then, I found myself caring about them, more than usual. Thinking about them more than usual. I couldn't stop thinking about them. I couldn't figure it out. They were constantly on my mind, and I couldn't get every detail of them out of my mind, from his amazing personality to his freckles and-shit. Fuck." I found myself literally hinting directly at who it was.

"Is this about Yamaguchi, Kei?" Akiteru asks, and I nod slowly.

"Then, uhm, week after week, it got worse. Then I had a... uhm, fuck..." I trail off, and Akiteru nods encouragingly at me, and I sigh. "I had a dream about Yamaguchi." I pause, and Akiteru lifts his eyebrow at me. "It was... a bit more on the... erotic side..."

Akiteru starts chuckling.

"Don't laugh, it's not funny! Do you know how awkward that is?" I pause and chuckle softly. "Imagine me having to go see him the next morning at practice and school..."

He laughed again, and I sighed.

"This doesn't end well, Aki..."

He instantly stops laughing.

"Recently, as I was figuring this out, Yamaguchi changed. He became bolder. A week or two ago, we went to practice, and when we walked in, two of the guys were fighting, Kageyama being the aggressor. Kageyama threw Hinata to the floor and Yamaguchi tore him a new one, which was great. But, Kageyama straightened up, and from then on, Kageyama started flirting with Yamaguchi nonstop, and I watched as it progressed, and I did nothing. Not a fucking thing. I let it all happen, because I am a complete idiot. Then, Yamaguchi started asking me about Kageyama." I pause because I can feel tears again.

"I realized around then that I was in love with Tadashi. You know, it was actually the night I had that... uh, dream. I was going to tell him, I really was. I worked up the courage and when I went to talk to him, he wanted to talk too. About love. But, about his love for Kageyama. He fell in love with Kageyama, Aki." I mumble, tears falling out. I curl my long legs up and hug them to my body. My body begins shaking and my brother's arms were instantly around me, comforting.