Gazing at the Stars

Chapter 7

I really regret going to school, I definitely should have used a sick day. I watched Kageyama and Yamaguchi practically mouth-fucking each other, they came out to the team (which they in turn came up with the couple name, Yamayama), and I had to deal with the Hinata following me around talking about them. I don't even know where to start.

I walked into practice this morning to be the first one there. How that happened? I don't know. Or, I guess I should say, I THOUGHT I was the first person. Apparently two people beat me, and were hooking up in the club room. I walked to the gym door and found it closed, and I figured, maybe the club room is unlocked and I can sit in there until someone comes to unlock the door. It was chilly outside. So, I walked my grumpy ass to the club room and sure as hell, the door was unlocked. I walked in and there was only one light on, and it was just a small lamp. Walking into it, I shut the door and sat my stuff down, and look around.

Two tall figures stood, pressed against the lockers, faces locked. I assumed it was Suga and Daichi, because, I mean, they might not be open about their relationship, but come the fuck on, it is blatantly obvious that they are a thing. I chuckled to myself and was going to say something until I realized I wasn't seeing black hair and silver hair, but black hair and green hair. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped; I couldn't look away, I was stunned.

Getting a better look while staring, I felt nauseous.

Kageyama had Yamaguchi pinned against the locker, Kageyama's hands gripping Yamaguchi's hands at his sides. Kageyama had his knee shoved between his thighs, and both were red as tomatoes. When I first saw them, there were smoother, lighter kisses being exchanged. But no, of course it wouldn't stay that way. One of them began kissing harder, bruisingly harder.

That's when the sounds started.

Lips smacking lips, moisture obvious between the two. A few seconds in, and one of them started moaning. I don't know which, but one was softly moaning deeply while the other was panting.

And just to send me a big 'Fuck You Kei!' from the God's, I saw the tongue-twister starting. Kageyama took control and began exploring Yamaguchi's mouth, and Yamaguchi's eyes rolled into the back of his head as his hands escaped Kageyama's grasp and entwined into Kageyama's hair. Kageyama gripped Yamaguchi's hips painfully hard, but neither seemed to care over the bliss both were obviously feeling.

I wanted to run, but I was frozen, as my world burst at its seams and crumbled.

Yamaguchi's eyes rolled again, but somehow his gaze caught mine. For about a split second, he didn't seem to care, then it hit him that I saw all of that. He gasped and literally jumped away from Kageyama. I don't know how he did it, but he managed, even with Kageyama's killer grip on his hips.

Now, before you think I am some pervert who couldn't stop watching the two make-out, it only was a probably 30 second span, it just escalated quickly and seemed to last way longer. Kageyama stared at Yamaguchi confused and Yamaguchi stared at me mortified. I sighed and grabbed my bag, walking out and slamming the door to the club room and feeling tears come up.

I thought about Aki's words from this morning.

"It's interesting that when you say, 'shut up Yamaguchi,' there is no malice, and it's your own way of affection with him, and his not-actually-sorry 'sorry Tsuki' is his way of showing the affection back. I don't know what is going to happen, but I think things will turn out okay. Have you thought about telling him?"

He said it with such conviction, but I realize just then how wrong it was. Yeah, my words have always been said with an underlying affection, but I don't think Yamaguchi saw it that way, and he didn't return the affection. No way. How could he like someone who was such a dick to him? He was also wrong saying things will turn out okay, nothing is okay anymore. Yamaguchi is dating someone who isn't me, and they were just making out. And to tell him? No way in hell am I telling Tadashi that I love him. Nothing good will come out of it.