The Rebel in Us |Completed|

Chapter Nineteen

Song to the side

Passenger- Let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go    

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Chapter Nineteen

| Winnie |

I hated hospitals; I hated them with a passion. It was mostly because I was always here for someone else. And the nurses were just way too happy, and mostly because it's smelled like cleaning products.

The reason I hate it so much right now is because I've been sitting in this small quiet room waiting for my mother to wake up since bringing her in last night. They said she had alcohol poisoning, and was very lucky to have gotten here just in the nick of time. Seeing as though she could've choked on her vomit while she was passed out, and then that would've been it.

I had a lot on my mind, and sleeping was just out of the question. Alberta kept Lillian overnight, which didn't go well since Lilly saw the paramedics take my mother. Dmitri went to see her, and had her call me so I could calm her down. She cried, asked if mommy was okay, and when we could go home. I told her I didn't know, and it sucked because that was true.

I had a lot to think about, and it was all I did as I sat here.

I didn't feel like I was going to lose my mind anymore, and I didn't want to cry either. Which was good but kind of sad if you really think about it. I mean this was my mother, but I was tired of it. Tired of everything going on, and I had decided this is where it would stop. This is the last time I'm going to be taking care of my mother. The last time I let her disappoint Lillian. Just altogether the last time.

In about three months, I would be graduating and heading toward my future. I didn't want it to include cleaning up bottles, wiping vomit, and having my boyfriend rescue me from my mother's abusive drinking significant others. It included some kind of peace, a time where I could actually enjoy being eighteen, and maybe even go to college. I would always take care of Lillian, that was a given, but I wouldn't let her down anymore. I wouldn't let Jane hurt her.

    So with the alternative I've decided to give my mother, it was now the moment to act on my promise. The promise to myself that things would be different from now on, and Lillian would get a chance at a real childhood. The chance I never had.

I know she's awake when she clears her dry throat. The automatic reflex of her arm shooting out to the right side where normally a glass bottle of something strong would be waiting for her. The disappointing sigh she releases when her hand doesn't grasp it but only empty air.

"You're in a hospital; they don't allow alcohol in hospitals." She sighs again at my low empty tone of voice.

"Why-" I get up slowly, and hand her the water so she could clear her throat and speak normally. She drinks it with a scowl but finishes the whole cup. "Why am I here?"

"You tell me... If you can remember?"

"I'm not in the mood for your attitude, Winifred, just answer the goddamn question." It's my turn to sigh, and I watch as her hand rubs her head as if it would magically make the pain go away.

"You passed out, too much of your best friends; scotch and Jack. I had to call the ambulance because you wouldn't wake up." She sighs again, and makes a tired noise through her throat. "Don't worry; you'll be able to drink again by tomorrow morning. Next time stick to one brand though, okay?"