wings ↣ w. worthington iii

13. guess what? it's feelings season, and you're going to catch it. ✓

"There was nowhere to go but everywhere, keep rolling under the stars." (On The Road by Jack Kerouac)

Word Count: 1562

"LILLI?"

Lilli whirled around to face Cas, wide eyed. She would recognize that voice anywhere. "Cas? Oh Lord, I'm so sorry I'm doing this, I just can't stay here—"

"Lils, you're not leaving, are you?" Cas looked heartbroken as he stood in the middle of the staircase. Lilli was just in front of the doors, so they were a good sixty feet apart.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't you, I've just got to get out of here—"

"You're really leaving me?" Cas looked at her desperately, his eyes wide. "After all we've been through? I thought—but weren't we—and today I was going to ask you—ask you to—oh my God, you're really leaving?"

Lilli was quite bewildered at how badly Cas was taking her leaving. It was strange to see him at such a loss for words. Nevertheless, her heart still ached to see him staring at her in such pain and hurt and disbelief.

"I'm sorry, Cas," Lilli whispered. She really was.

There was a moment of silence, and Lilli turned to the door. Just as her hand touched the cool metal, Cas sprinted down the steps and ran towards her. Lilli turned back around and looked up at Cas, now truly bewildered.

"I'll—I'll go with you, I'll run away with you," he said slowly, and Lilli could see how it pained him to say it. This was his home. "I'll go pack my bags and—"

"No," Lilli said softly, silencing him. "You stay here. I—I have some things I need to do... alone. I'll see you again soon, okay?" Cas gulped and stood back, looking resigned. He nodded towards the door, and Lilli smiled a little before turning away.

As she closed the door behind her, she heard a soft, "I love you, Lilli," come from Cas' lips. She felt the pain and heartbreak coming from inside of him, and it pained her just as much as it pained him. When the door closed behind her, she stood on the front steps for a moment, reveling in the beauty of the afternoon.

When she was halfway down the driveway, however, there was two gusts of wind and suddenly Warren and Peter appeared on either side of her.

"Lilli, we need to talk," Peter said quietly, looking back at the school as he did so.

"What do you mean?" Lilli asked.

"It's about Cas." Warren said, and Lilli was pleasantly surprised to hear his voice sound like how it used to sound, like melted chocolate and velvet with soft jazz playing in the background. Recently, his voice had turned to always being cold and monotonous, so it was definitely amazing to hear the change. Lilli couldn't help but wonder what sparked the change.

"Isn't it always?" Lilli asked softly, kicking the same rock with each step she took. 

"Cas... Cas is the spy..." Peter said quietly. Lilli sighed and shook her head in disappointment.

"You too, Peter? Warren, what do you have against him that has made you convince Peter that Cas is bad?" Lilli asked, not sounding angry. She just sounded tired, and as she gazed up into Warren's soft gaze, it looked almost as if he... cared. "Why can't you just drop it?" Her voice broke on the last word and she looked away, trying to blink away her tears. First, she found out everyone had excluded her from critical research, then she found out that there was now two people who despised the one person she truly loved.

"Warren didn't tell me, Lilli." Peter said quietly. For a moment, the only sound was the crunching of gravel underneath the soles of their sneakers, and then Peter spoke up again. "Remember the day at the beach? When Kezing attacked. Well, you know how everything goes in slow motion for me, or slower than usual. I... I glanced back, because I had a strange feeling we were being watched. And I saw Cas, he got up and... and he went to the trees... and changed. Like a shapeshifter. He changed into a different looking man, and then he... well, I guess he has telekinesis, because he lifted up a whole sand dune and dumped it on everyone but me, because I had got out of the way. I was just about to tell everyone when he looked right at me, like he knew what I was thinking, and he raised his hand, and then we were ambushed.

"When I got up, he was lying there like the rest of us, caked in sand and he had a couple bruises and he was limping. I could tell he had just changed his appearance to look beat up." Peter paused, and looked back at the school. Lilli looked at Peter and could tell he was being honest. Peter wasn't one to lie, and his story checked out.

Cas really was the spy.

They were just at the end of the driveway, and out of hearing range of any normal person, but Lilli knew that Cas was hearing everything they were saying. She knew he had given up on her, he was allowing her to be told this.

"Tell her about when he touched her," Warren said quietly. Peter nodded.

"On the ride back, I saw you kept looking between me, Cas, and Warren."

"Cas, Warren, and I," Lilli interrupted automatically.

"What?" Asked Peter.

"Nothing. Go on," Lilli said, still kicking the rock even though they had stopped walking. They were now standing at the edge of the gates.

"Alright? Anyways, you were looking between us and I noticed you looked confused, like you were questioning something. You seemed to be about to say something to Cas, when he touched you, and something changed. I saw it happen in slow motion, as usual. You sort of jolted, but it went from your hand up to your head twice, like in two waves. And it happened so quickly, no one else would've ever noticed it, and you probably didn't even feel it. Then you got this really strange, dreamy look on your face, and then it passed and you looked normal, and you didn't ask anything." Peter finished talking and took a deep breath. He had said all that in only two breaths.

"Peter then told me," Warren said. "We looked into it. You—he—Cas really likes you, yeah? A lot. He's in love with you. And he must've thought you wouldn't normally like him, so... he's been messing with your emotions, he's been making you like him. As long as you're inside a half mile radius of him, he can tamper with your emotions and make you like him back."

"Why?" Asked Lilli. She was having trouble comprehending everything, and this just took it too far. "Can't you just admit that I like him? I don't see why it matters to you."

Warren flinched and looked away, but Lilli ignored it. Peter took this time to jump in. "Lilli. Step outside the gates, please. We're little over a half mile away from Cas. Please," he added after Lilli gave him a look.

"Fine. Whatever," she finally sighed. Rolling her eyes at the boys and their stupid behavior, she stepped outside of the gates.

A wave washed over her, a freezing cold wave that chilled Lilli to the bone. It felt like it was ripping off something deep inside of her as it washed over her.

Then, just as soon as it started, it was over. The wave passed. Lilli sat down on the ground to steady herself. "Damn," she finally said. "What the hell was that?"

"You, uh. Er—the bond that's been getting stronger and stronger for the past couple months, it just snapped," Peter said. "Do you still like Cas?"

Lilli stared up at the blue sky and watched a single puffy white cloud roll in. It, ironically, looked like a heart. Lilli searched inside of herself, searching her feelings for any sign of love towards Cas Achterberg.

She found nothing.

"No," said Lilli softly. She sat up and faced Warren and Peter, both of whom were looking down at her with concern laced across their features. "That's so weird."

"I'm sorry, Lilli," Peter said sadly. Warren nodded in agreement. Lilli blinked a few times before looking up at Warren.

"No, I'm sorry. I've been such a bitch to you. I can't believe myself," Lilli said quietly, her eyes welling up as she remembered all the cruel things she'd done and said to Warren the past few weeks. "Warren, I am so, so, so sorry."

Warren shook his head and looked straight ahead. "I understand." He said tightly. "It's okay."

"No, it's not," Lilli replied, standing up. Warren's eyes shifted to meet hers, and she saw tears welling up in his eyes. Without thinking or even knowing what she was doing, Lilli threw her arms around Warren and enveloped him in a hug. Tears streamed down her face as she buried her face in Warren's chest. "I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me."

After a long moment, Lilli felt Warren's arms slink around her and return the hug. His head fell into the crook of her neck and he murmured, "Of course I forgive you."