A Struggle With Love

You're Sane, Right?

Adam hesitated over the send button for a moment. He hadn't spoken to Hugh Dennis for ages, not since he was last on Mock The Week. Which was, God, how long? Five years now. He closed his eyes and hit 'send' praying that Hugh still had the same phone he did 5 years ago, which he probably did. 55 year-olds are not usually known for their advantages in technology.

He got a reply almost instantly.

"Yes Adam, I am still sane. What's up?"

Adam was just worried, he was all alone, without a key for the hotel room. He hadn't seen Jon for a good 4 hours now and he didn't know his way around and he knew that Josh and Alex would be out on the drinks.

"I'm worried about Jon" Replied Adam. 

Hugh showed his sympathy for Russell, they did know each other quite well after doing a TV show together for about 8 or 9 series. Hugh always seemed to know what to say, which is why he was in a relationship with Frankie Boyle. You definitely need to be patient to be in that position. After all, Hugh knew what Frankie was like. Angry, offensive, a bit crazy and didn't care what he said or how it made someone feel as long as it made himself laugh. Hugh had gotten past all of that because Frankie made him realise, that being nice wasn't Hugh's game either. It never was. He loved the satirist, dark comedy that he'd always provided the nation. 

Frankie was the only person who had made him really laugh after things with Steve didn't last forever, like Steve had promised they would. They always fought, and Hugh was always on the sharp end of the violence. Despite being significantly taller and stronger than Steve, he could never bring himself to hurt him. He could never bring himself to win a fight.

Hugh told Adam that Frankie was there and he could stay with him for the night if he wanted, even though he knew that Frankie didn't like people, Adam hesitantly agreed. He called a taxi and met Frankie by the canal and was very surprised at what they found there. 

Frankie stopped in his tracks, listening to a faint, slurred whimpering noise coming from around the corner. 

"Some drunk fucker, probably." He laughed, his thick Glaswegian accent piercing through the silence of the night.

Adam walked around to see Jon sat slurring curse words at glass bottles and throwing them into the canal. He looked around and saw the hotel key floating in the water. He sighed and looked back at Frankie, who chuckled and helped lift Jon up and dragged him back to Frankie's little bungalow. It wasn't what you'd expect a 'bungalow' to look like, it was more of a TV apartment set.  They threw Jon onto the bed and then threw themselves onto the sofa. 

"So, how come you're here?" Asked Adam.

"Hoping to find Russell."

"Do you want to come with me tomorrow, we have to pick him up. You might not be able to come in but you can wait in the car."

"Sure, I'll come."

"Do you miss Hugh."

"Whenever I'm not with Hugh, I miss Hugh. So since we're on this topic, how is Josh?"

"What?"

"That's right, I watch the show. I see how you look at him and how you favourite him over Alex."

"Well, you see, Josh doesn't like me like that. He made that perfectly clear, I'm a worthless, useless arse. I'm sorry, Frankie. You don't need to hear this."

"You're right, I don't. The truth is important, however much I hate that, and you're telling lies. You're useful and worthy, so fuck Josh."

"That's the opposite of what I'll do."

"Wow, you Australians aren't sarcastic arseholes. Turns out that stereotype was a fake one."