Wajah Tum Ho

4. A Few Encounters

Maybe the wolf was in love with the moon, and each night it cries for the love it can't touch.

Life is really unpredictable. I never thought too deep about life before to realise what it feels like to be betrayed or what it feels like to have an encounter with that one person whom you were once crazy about, or what it feels like to lay alone in the dark and feel absolutely nothing inside your gut. Darkness is a true friend in fact it has been my only true friend. I share my tears and grief with it and in turn it shares it's comfort with me. Nandini is really happy in her life. I would be happy to see her happy in her life with her husband and her family but no. I just can't. In fact I hate her. I hate to see her in peace. I hate to see her smile. I hate to see her in the arms of another man. I hate to see her give all her time to someone else. I just hate this feeling. This feeling fucks it all. It was​ so difficult to sit in that room and behave as if nothing ever happened, as if I never knew Nandini before, as if I'm happy in my life, as if I never shared any feeling for Nandini. How easily she pretended that I don't exist for her while I couldn't do that because I'm not a bloody betrayer like her. Suddenly I felt extremely suffocated of everything, of Nandini, of Nia, of this place, of...of myself. I got up with a jerk to drink some water only to find the jar empty. Damn it. I roamed my eyes at the clock only to see it was 3 in the night or morning. Fuck.

Frustrated, I walked out of the room with the jar only to stop in front of her room... No... Their room.. It pinches me to think that she shares a room with someone else that's not me. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. As I reached the kitchen, I heard a fumbling sound. Who the hell is in there in the middle of the night? I walked with careful steps so as to not make any sound and switched on all the lights. As soon the lights were on, I saw a petite figure in a minions night suit fumbling through all the utensils and water bottle. Nandini.... What is she doing here in a condition like this? She stumbled on her place and turned towards me in a jiffy with a panic struck face. Her hair was a mess, her eyes filled with tears and blood red and her body was trembling. What the actual hell? As soon as her eyes met mine, her posture visibly relaxed and she leaned on the kitchen counter with her eyes closed, taking deep and heavy breaths. After sometime, she turned back and gulped some pills with water. What are these pills for?..... Is she suffering from any disease or something? She looked at the water blankly and then turned towards me, walking with stable and calm steps.

Manik: Are you alright?

Nandini: Do you need something Mr Malhotra?

Huh! Now we are back to being strangers, how can I even forget that? Suddenly all the rage and anger I had within me in all these years came back to me like a wrecking ball. I held her arms tightly in my deathly grip and pushed her to the wall crushing her in between.

Manik: Why did you do all this Nandini? Huh? Why did you betray me? Huh? Didn't you love me? Huh? Bolo! Kya pyaar nahi karti thi mujhse? Sab natak tha tumhara. Huh, bolo. Bolti kyu nahi?

My grip on her hands kept tightening after ever word I spoke. My rage was totally overpowering me. I just didn't have any control on myself and I was extremely thankful for that. I waited for her to answer but all I saw in her eyes was pain and remorse but I know this is all her drama.

Nandini: Even I don't know Manik. What did we have together? Was it even love? I used to ask myself what was our relation? Now I know. I don't think you loved me ever. It was just an infatuation Manik or maybe one sided love which was from my side because had it been true love, I don't think you would've changed yourself, I don't think you would've hated me, I don't think you would've left me, I don't think you would've distrusted me and most importantly, I don't think you would've been playing with Nia's feelings.