Wajah Tum Ho

6. Complications Everywhere

Yaad woh nahi ,jo akele mei aaye,
Yaad woh hai, jo bhari mehfil mei akela kar jaye.

Translation:

"A memory is not the one
that haunts when you're alone,
It's the one that troubles
when you're amidst a crowd,
but manages make you feel alone."

Everything was a mystery to me. My past, my present, my existence, my relations, my equations, my whole damn life. Everything. Sometimes, I feel extremely alone. I have so many people to talk to but I just can't speak my heart out to anyone. Papa is already stressed about maa and maa has her own battles to fight. Bhai is already depressed and Bhaiya himself has so much to discover in his relationship. Nia still seems like a child to me and now that she's in a relationship with my ex, it makes it even more difficult to talk to her and Vihaan, well he listens to me as much as he can as he has taken Cabir's place in my heart, the place that Cabir himself left void. Manik Malhotra.. Well I'm kind of starting to hate him now. He hasn't left one reason for me to not hate him and coming to my husband Advik Kapoor. Well I've hurt him enough to create distances between us and somewhere I'm guilty for it. He didn't deserve this, any of this. He deserves true happiness...

Come back to me Mumma. I miss you, I miss you a lot. I can't gather myself anymore. I know you have left me with this beautiful family very peacefully but I need you. A part of me is terrified with the fact that I might lose you again. Maa. I'm really afraid to lose her.

The pen dropped from my hand as I reminisced that day when maa had her appointment.

FLASHBACK

I don't really have good memories of hospitals and I don't think anyone will ever have except those who give birth to their babies. They are the only lucky ones who make happy memories here, and that too only some of them. Right then we were sitting in Dr. Edward's cabin while maa was having her tests inside. Dr Edwards came back and sat on his chair and looked at us in what I call fear in his eyes.

Ram: Doctor, how's my wife doing?

Edwards: Sir, there's no such danger actually but it's cancer we are talking about. There is no way that I can assure you of no risks being there. When you're suffering from a deadly disease, anything can happen and all we can do is to take the preventions serious and believe in miracles.

Nandini: I don't care Ethan. All I know is, I can't lose her. You have to cure her. There are so many treatments available and just because I trust you, I made you the in charge of my mother's​ case. Please don't let me regret my decision.

Edwards: Nancy, I've known you since ages and I can totally understand your insecurity but you know how it is. I..(he sighed helplessly). You just take care of her and I will, in fact I already am trying my best.

ENDS

Dr Ethan Edwards was my friend even before he became a doctor and that's why I handed him maa's case because I knew he would cure her and I still trust him with all my heart but then again he was right. Nobody knows what may happen in the future. He isn't a predictor after all, he's just a doctor. I'm scared, scared to lose maa because I know how it is to lose a mother. I'm scared for Nia too. She's a baby who needs her mother at all times with her. Why's everything going so wrong with me? Why's everything so complicated? Why can't everything be simple and easy? All I have in this world rightfully mine is Navya. I can talk to her almost about anything-my fears, my secrets, my darkest sides, my positivity, everything because I know she'll understand without judging. My mind automatically travelled back to the day when Navya returned and had an intense encounter with Fab5.