Silent Emotions

8. Oblivious

Emma

Sweat,

Tears,

And blood. Lots of it.

That day was the day I lost something. I can't quite point out what it is. But every so often, I catch myself staring off into a distance. Trying to recall such intangible thing. And whatever the hell that thing is-- it's driving me nuts. Off the walls. Fucks me up completely.

Just the mere fact that my whole family keeps their mouth shut about it, pisses me off completely. The littlest bits are what I remember. I was bickering with some kid my age. Then all of a sudden we were spinning. Everything goes black. Then all I remember was waking up every so often, hazy from the drugs they pumped into my system when I was in the hospital.

But the look on both my parents' faces. The sheer worry and relief all synced at the same time. That I will never forget.

"Emma, honey? Are you listening?" Mom abruptly stops from stirring the food she was preparing. She gives a brief look over her shoulder, trying to see if my mind had wandered off. Again. I started to scoop another spoonful of cereal in my mouth and nodded, "Yeah. Uh, some business people are coming over for dinner. Got it."

"Okay then..." she trails off as she sets down a plateful of eggs in front of me. Her eyes scanning me from head to toe. "What happened to fun colors and prints?" I was wearing black pants with a loose dark red top. One that goes down to my thighs. And some black converse.

"Mom I'm not a four years old anymore," I groaned. Not quite sure why she's so hell bent over my preferred choice of clothing. Even though it really mostly consists of simplified clothing. Not leaning on too preppy, nerdy, or emo. Just me. Plain and simple.

"Now, those were the days. I could dress you up in a tutu and you wouldn't care. I had so much fun-"

"Speaking of, do you remember when I ended up in that hospital?" I blurted out, mindfully watching her reaction. She drops the spatula in the sink making a cluster of noise. Her shoulders tensed up as she turns slowly to flash me a forced smile.

"And what about it?" She asked. I hummed, drumming my fingers. "I just don't remember it. You know. Me falling off a bike."

"It was an accident. Really," she took quick strides over to where I sat. Her eyes filled with worry. She combs her fingers through my hair, "I was so worried."

"Uh yeah. Except... I don't remember the park. I remember being in a car-" her eyes widened, and in a blink of a second I was already being ushered out the door. My shoes squeaked against the tole floor as she urges me to hurry on and go to school.

"Come on now. You'll be late. Go and learn stuff. Here's some cash. It's Austin's birthday today isn't it?" She smiled as she basically chucks a whole wad of cash to me.

"Mom. That's in December. It's barely May right now," I deadpanned. She waves dismissively saying I should go out more. Experience more. Even though dad says the opposite and will literally yank me back into protection from the outside world.

"I don't know. It was just weird. Every time I try to talk about it, she completely shuts me out." I signed to Austin who sent me weird looks through all of it. He's known my whole family for years now. And from how my mom reacted this morning, it was obvious something big really did happen that day.

Whatever it was, could possibly be linked to my cousin Ken. Since he's the only one I could think of who was relatively around my age. The kid in my memories couldn't be any older than me by a few years. I'll connect more dots later on when I do visit them over the weekend.