After Rain ✅

[nine] words

After Rain

Chapter 9

I stared at Zaid as if I had seen a ghost. He seemed to know what I was thinking - he always did - and a small and bitter smirk showed on his face. He backed away from me and dropped his voice to a whisper. So low that only I and Silas would hear it.

''I gave you time Nicola, I really did.'' He said, with his eyes trained on my face. I sat there wishing time would reverse he would burst out laughing and say it was a joke. It was impossible though, Zaid hadn't laugh since the day he saw his sister's dead body lying on the ground, with blood pooling around it. He lingered for a second longer, then and turned away before walking out of the cafeteria and leaving me in the middle of a chaos.

The whispering around us started as soon as Zaid left and some heads turned to my way. I looked at Silas with helplessness in my gaze, as if he could help me in any way.

''Now, what is this about?'' He muttered to himself and I wished that I could tell him, no matter how ridiculous the urge was. I wished I could spill everything to him and relieve myself from the burden that had been sitting on my shoulders for months now. The burden was a memory that I was forced to forget every single night. I swallowed that urge and held his gaze.

Zaid's words were ringing in my mind constantly, like an alarm that I was unable to turn off. Even when I tried to focus on Silas, it didn't help. Distantly I knew that the bell had rang and it was time for class but I kept sitting on my place like a rock, unable to move, feeling like the world would end if I did. Zaid knew that it wasn't sucide...how did he know that? All this time, I had thought that like the rest of the world, he believed that Lee killed herself as well, all this time I thought it was the reason why he hated me so much. Because he thought that Lee killed her self because of the fight that happened between us.

But I was wrong; there had always been one reason for his hatred and it was the truth that I could never let out. My second thought was; how much does he know?

''You're not going to tell me anything right?'' Silas asked for the first time, his voice held disappointment and he failed to hide it. I wanted to. I wanted him to know, I wanted Ronnie to know as well, that it wasn't just sadness that plagued me day and night, it was the memory that haunted me. I wanted to tell Zaid that I didn't kill his sister but I couldn't do anything about what happened that night and it refused to let me live. I wanted to tell the world even though I knew I could never do that.

''I'm sorry'' It was all I could tell him before I got up and started to leave. I could feel his gaze burning in my back until I was gone from the cafeteria. I wasn't sure where to go though; I wanted to throw up and maybe breathe a little.

The moment I entered the girls washroom, I knew that Bianca would be waiting for me. I knew it and didn't avoid it; maybe because I knew there was no running away from her. As soon as Bianca saw me, she grabbed my arm and hauled me inside and locked the door behind her, her nails dug in my skin painfully but I never complained. I stumbled and my abdomen hit the sink, when I turned to face her, I found her glaring at me with wide eyes.

I straightened up and faced her, bracing my self for her words. These days, they hurt more than the bruises and the wounds.

''You!'' She spat, ''how can you let this happen!?'' She wanted to scream at me but she knew she couldn't. Her voice, her eyes, her face - all of her was lined with desperation and madness.

''It wasn't me.'' I replied to her in a shaky voice,

''It wasn't you?'' She scoffed before kicking me in the gut. I yelped and landed on the floor, grasping my front. The pain spread like fire and I coughed, trying to catch my breath. All at once it felt as if someone had dug shards of glass in my abdomen and I grabbed my shirt, holding it in a tight fist.