Page 492

Creeping Back

         

                  Illi's POV
      Over the past two weeks, my mom has gotten used to the fact that I'm with Jules, my dad is iffy about it, Venus is happy for me, and Marcus and I haven't been the same. We're acting like how we used to when I first arrived here. We never talked and if we did, it was short and uncomfortable.
      Venus opens the door to my room just as I'm putting the flannel on. "Put it around your waist. It's too hot outside for that and mom would tell you the same thing," she tells me.
    I do as told and sit on the edge of my bed and put on my army-green wedges that make me a little taller than my actual height of 5'1. She hands me my phone and drags me down stairs.
    Marcus sees me and stands, walking out if the house. A pain shoots through my chest. That kind of pain that I knew all too well in the past. I've tried fighting back the feeling for a few years and it always begs for entrance again.
      "Eat," my mom tells me. I grab a banana and walk towards the door. "Love you," she and my dad yell as I head off to work.
     ××××××××
       My head is starting to get to me again like it used to. I know that what caused this was what Marcus said, but I will not blame him for what my mind has been yelling at me.
      Jules back into the living room and sits down next to me on the couch, throwing his arm behind my head. Things have been weird with us ever since that day at the hospital.
    He doesn't kiss me as much and if he does it's a quick peck. He hardly says I love you anymore; even though I couldn't ever say it back, I felt it. I knew he loved me, but now I don't know.
     And I love him. I've fought of the truth of that for the past two weeks. I want to tell him, but I can't. I always get hurt in the end of thing. I can't get attached. I know he'll eventually see how much of a screw up I am and leave.
      "Penny for your thoughts," he says, looking at me. I shrug.
    "Nothing much. Just kind of tired," I tell him, returning my eyes to the movie. His thumb makes soothing circles on the back of my neck. "Do you still love me?" I blurt out. His brows shoot up.
     "Of course I do. Why would you think I don't?" He says sounding defensive. I look back at my lap.
    "It's just that after that day at the hospital you don't say it much anymore. You hardly kiss me. I was just afraid that what my brother said made you open your eyes."
     He stares into my eyes as he leans in slowly. His calloused knuckles run down the side of my face. I close the small gap between us. The kids isn't hungry, or want filled, just slow and loving. I tell he loves me by this.
     "I love you, and what your brother said to me, doesn't have any affect on the way I feel about you. What your mom made you do, isn't who you are," he tells me. I rest my forehead against his, closing my eyes to stop from crying.
    I want to tell him I love him. But I can't get attached. I pull back and run my index finger along his stubbled jaw. I remember thinking that facial hair was unattractive and made them look messy, but it makes him look handsome and tough even though its just stubble.
     I lean into him and press our mouths together. Our tongues dance together perfectly. A feeling grows in my stomach that I wish wasn't there since I know I'm not ready for that.
    The kiss grows more heated and hungry. I move so I'm straddling him. Now I'm in control. His hands roam around my back and rest on my butt. We pull back to breath, both of us gasping.
    I tilt his head back and kiss down his jaw to his neck. He let's put a sexy animalistic growl. I grind against him, trying to get a affect on him. I get to the area just blow the right side of his jaw when his hips back and he moans.
    He grips a handful of my hair. I feel him begin to harden under me. I know he'll end this soon because of his problem, so decide to take advantage of the situation.
   I push him down onto the couch so he's laying on his back. He keeps his hands firmly in place and squeezes. I bite my lip, unbuttoning his shirt. He sits up to take it the rest of the way off. After he lays back down, he attempts to put his hands back where they were.
     I take his wrists and pin them above his head, locking him in place. With one hand I manage to unbutton his jeans and drag down his boxers the best I can. Without hesitation, he kicks them the rest of the way off. I remove my jeans and flannel.
      I catch a glimpse​ of him as I lean back down to kiss him. Well that's gonna hurt like a bitch when the time comes. I grind against him, making him bite his lip hard.
     "Ca-can I touch you, baby girl?" He says. I shake my head and grind harder, but slower. I throw my head back a little and moan. His hands ball up in fists. The look in his grey-blue eyes tell me how he feels.
     Him reaching his peak makes me lose it as well. Our chests rise and fall rapidly. "Damn I love you." I smile and lean over to pick my pants up. He stands and pulls his boxers and jeans off before going on to see the bathroom.
     My phone goes off just as he comes back out. I grab my phone and answer the calk after seeing my moms contact. "Hey," I say.
    "Can you come home?" She asks. She sounds panicked. Jules looks at me with a look that says he knows some things wrong.
     "Yeah. What's wrong?" I say.
     "The blood tests you took when you were at the hospital came back and I think you should be here to hear the results."
     "Tell me now," I say nervously. She sighs in the other end.
     "You have leukemia," she says in a sad voice. And that's all it took for me to break again.

AN: This was her aggressive and depressed sides, requested by @firecrackergirl. Please comment a side of him or her you want to see next!! share. Stay alive |-/    -Veah