Page 492

Not Happening

                  Illi's POV
     I can only hope Jule's never feels the way I did today. The way he's rejected me almost all day burns deep. And why did I have to say that about not feeling loved? Sure, I haven't today, but I usually do. However, I wasn't going to lie to him.
      "Are you okay?" My mom asks me. I nod, looking down at the book. She closes it. "Talk to me." My shoulders hunch.
     "I don't think you want to know," I say shyly. Her face brightens.
    "Does this have anything to do with sex?" I clear my throat. "You shouldn't have to do anything your not ready for." This conversation is only going to get more awkward.
    "We-him and I already did that," I say. Her eyes widen. "And now its weird." She sits down next to me now.
    "Weird how?" She asks.
    "I have bruises and he thinks he hurt me because of them. No matter how many times I told him that it didn't hurt at all, he didn't believe that. He won't touch, let me touch him, kiss me. I just feel like I'm not good enough now."
    She wipes away a tear I hadn't known had fallen. "You need to tell him that. And if he doesn't believe you and still is making you feel like your not good enough, then theirs one other option," she tells me. I look down at the book.
    "Okay."
     ×××××××××
       Jukes opens the door and looks surprised to see me. "Ca-can we talk?" I ask. He opens the door wider and let's me in. We walk to his room and sit down. He sits a good distance away from me. "Did you even like last night?" He chuckles.
    "Yes, god yes. What does that have to do with any of-"
   "I just, I thought that maybe you weren't touching me because you didn't like what you seen," I say. He closes his eyes.
    "It's not that at all. Its those damn bruises I left on your body. I feel like if I touch you, I'll hurt you. The last thing I want is for you to feel like I don't want you. You know I do," he says, kissing my temple.
    I lean against him. He tenses and keeps his arms at his sides. I stand up and walk over to the window. "I don't know what to say. Its not your fault I bruise easily." He stands up, crossing his arms.
     I walk over so I'm behind him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I press my lips to his neck. He jaw clenches. I make a noice that sounds like a moan. He turns around and picks me up, making me yelp.
    He slams me against the door, making my head hurt. I keep my arms around his neck as we hungrily kiss.  He takes my shirt off me and doesn't look down.
    He moves us so we're now laying on the bed. He removes his shirt while I undo his jeans. He picks them off and does the same to me. Dropping back down, he kisses my shoulder to my neck. I bite down on my tongue to stop from wincing.
       His calloused hands gently run down my stomach. His hand brushes against my most intimate area as they reach my leg. He grip my thigh. "Stop," I say. Where he was grabbing there was a bruise. He looks down at his hand.
    "What the fuck is wrong with me?" He says to himself and gets off of me. "I'm sorry." I stand up, crossing my arms.
    "Are you going to touch me again like you did last night?" He shakes his head as he looks down. "I've been through pain sexually if you don't remember. I think I would know if you hurt me and you didn't. I've been slapped, burned, cut; that's pain. You didn't do that."
    I pick up my clothes and put them back on. "I'm sorry, okay. I forgot that y-"
    "That much is obvious," I say. He tries walking towards me. "Don't. I'm gonna go."

AN: Shorter than usual. I'm not gonna ask for a side because I already have one. Comment what you think will happen with them! Share! Stay alive |-/    -Veah