What even is love? How is a human capable of loving when they think that they come first? Is love even real or is it just a form of lust that humans see as okay? Is it worth it? Can someone with such a dark soul, with such a dark heart love? Someone who has been through hell, how can they love? Is it fear of being alone or is it just fear of judgment? So which is it? Don't you see? Most people don't understand it see it. It's the irrational fear of being alone, of not having anyone there for you. No one to save you. No one to help you. Now are you seeing it too? Maybe not, but most people have this fear.
That feeling of drowning and screaming for help, but there's no one there to save you. How can you scream for help when no one is there? You don't know who will stay so you push everyone away, but then you get scared. No one is there; left for the predators to prey on the weak. All alone to slip into a depression when those horrible thoughts begin. You know those dark aweful thoughts that can make your heart turn cold. The thoughts and feelings that you freely welcome after a while. It feels wronh and off when those thoughts and feelings disappear. Once you have them, you can't live without them. It's just like love, you feel empty without love and so empty without those dark thoughts. It feels so right doesn't it?
Now are you starting to see it? It's an irrational fear, but we welcome it like depression. It's oddly comforting, love and depression. Both can be so painful, but both can feel so wonderful. So what's the difference? Is there one? Perplexing isn't it? How love and depression sometimes have the same symptoms? Why are the symptoms so alike? Dark soul or just reserved, careful, hurt, depressed, closed, independent or maybe done getting hurt over and over?
So then it brings up why should you stay? Why should I stay in a place that I feel safe, but unloved? Why shouldn't I love the thrill of the rush from being safe and loved? Why can't I have both?! Why do I have to choose? I want to feel safe and be loved! Is that too much to ask for?
YOU ARE READING
Exerts of a Story I'll Never Write
RandomThese are just multiple times I've written and have no clue what to do with them... Some bits are true while others are not. Good luck trying to decipher reality from fiction because I can't even do that..... All the characters are mine ⚠⚠⚠⚠TRIGGER...
