Reality (Sequel to Future)

Chapter Thirty-Four

"Ay, wake up" I said kicking the bed to wake up...whatever this bitch's name was.

She opened her eyes and looked at me in an irritated way.

"Damn, nigga. I'm up! You want some more pussy or something?" she said staring at me with the same lustful look from last night.

"Nah, you gotta go actually" I said. "I already called you a Lyft. It's two minutes away so you gotta go...like now"

"What? So that's it?" she asked raising a brow at me. "I'm just some fuck and duck?"

Was she serious?

"Fuck more you want from me? Dip. I already got yo clothes together right there" I said pointing to the foot of the bed.

She sucked her teeth and she pulled the covers off of her exposing her naked body. I ain't gonna lie, shawty was bad but I wasn't trying to have her thinking this shit was more than it was. She got dressed and stood in front of me.

"Can I at least get something to eat?"

"Yeah, on your way home" I said raising a brow.

She rolled her eyes.

"Fuck you, Roc"

I chuckled.

"How you think you ended up in my bed?"

She replied by flipping me her middle finger as she walked away. I shook my head and followed her out to lock the door behind her. A few minutes later just as I sat down to watch tv, Cedric walked through the front door with Deon on his arm, a bag full of what smelled like breakfast, and an annoyed look on his face. It's been three days since I've been away from Bahja and Deon and I have been staying at Ced's house. I never planned on staying for that long but everytime I felt like I was ready to go home, I got pissed off all over again. How the fuck could Bahja do this to me? I expected this from Devin since he had already shown me that he was a snake but B?

"Who was that? Girl number 8?" Cedric asked referring to the girl who just left.

I shrugged.

"So you just gon fuck the pain away, huh?"

I shrugged again. He shook his head.

"Where you even be pickin' these broads up from?"

"Well, the girl that just left was from the gas station" I answered casually.

"You a whole hoe, bruh" he scoffed giving me the baby and the bag. "I got you some food. The burger is mine. The one with the grits is yours"

"Thanks, man" I said sifting through the bag to find my food.

"No problem. So wassup?" he asked sitting in the chair next to the couch I was on.

"Whatchu mean? I'm chillin'" I replied nonchalantly pulling my food out and handing him what was left.

"You know what I'm talkin' bout, bruh. Wassup with you and Bahja?"

"Nothing" I quickly replied.

"Nothing?" he repeated looking at me confused. "What that mean?"

"It means not a damn thing. What part of that don't you get?"

"So she cut?"

At that question, I was silent. I should cut her off. I really fuckin' should but I was still insanely in love with her. Which is why this shit hurt me to my soul. Bahja is the only person in this world who literally knows everything about me. She knows how big loyalty and honesty is to me especially coming from a home where neither of those things were present. So how could she? That's why I been out here fuckin'. I thought it would make me feel better knowing I was making her feel like I did but it did anything but work. Sex was just temporary pleasure if it wasn't with the one you wanted.

"I don't know yet, man"

"Just go back to her. You know you want to. You out here with all these females thinking it's gon make you feel better but it ain't working. Make it work with her, man"

"You kickin' me out or something?" I asked scowling at him.

"Roc" he sighed. "You know you my boy. You can stay here for however long you want. I'm just sayin' I'm not the one who don't want you here, you the one that don't want you here. You miss Bahja and you know it"

"Fuck that" I snapped. "She need to sit with what she did"

Just then my phone rang. I looked over to see it was Bahja and I ignored it.

"That's gotta be the fiftieth time she called you. I think she sittin' with it" Cedric said.

"Good. So she can keep sitting with it. I don't give one fuck"

"Ight well if you ain't gon stay with her at least give her the kid back. You can't keep him away from his mom because of what ya'll goin' through"

I looked at Deon's sleeping face and realized he was right. No matter what was going on with us, Deon was still Bahja's kid too and even though our relationship was fucked right now, there was no denying that she is a great mother to him.

"I'll give him to her tomorrow"

"You gon hear her out?"

"Nigga, hear what out? She fucked the nigga I sent to protect her while I was locked up. You know how much that killed me to hear that shit? I was barely getting any sleep in the pen thinking bout getting back to her, marrying her, starting a whole new life with her and she played me. Like I said, I'm finna make her sit with this shit and she gon deal with it for however long I want her to because I never stepped out on her. She's the one who fucked us up"

Just then Deon started crying.

"Now look what you made me do" I grumbled.

"Nigga, that was you yelling and carrying on about your baby moms. Don't pin it on me" Ced's fat ass said as he bit into his burger.

"Just don't touch my food" I said taking Deon into the room we were staying in to put him back to sleep.

I held him in my arms close to me until he quieted down. I noticed a notification on my phone saying I got a voicemail from Bahja. I comtemplated on whether or not I should just delete the shit but then decided to hear what she had to say. I played it.

"Chres" she said over the phone.

My heart throbbed hearing her voice. The only memory I had of her these past few days were the words that made us separate in the first place. He wasn't lying.

"Chres, I don't even know where to begin. I...I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry. I just need a chance to talk to you. I miss you and the baby so much I can barely stand it. I know you hate me right now and I hate me too for what I've done but I don't...I don't want this to be the end of us. We've been through so much and I know you don't wanna just throw that away anymore than I do. Please...just call me back or at least come by the house or something, Chres, just give me something but I need you. I need you, I need Deon, I need us back. I'm...I'm begging you, Chres...I love you both so much and wherever you are just...be safe......Bye"

I deleted the voicemail and tossed my phone off to the side. I looked down at Deon and saw him begin to smile as he looked around the room and then after a while he appeared confused. More than likely he was looking for Bahja after pairing her with the voicemail I had just played.

"She ain't here, little man" I said stroking his head full of curls.

How is it that she's the one who did me wrong yet I still feel bad for not letting her talk to me? I was tempted to not even go back to the house tomorrow knowing that I might forgive her because I wanted to be angry at her so bad. I am angry at her but at the same time she was right, I didn't want to just throw us away. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, Bahja had my heart. She's the mother of my child, my first love, and my fiancée. On the other hand, I knew that I couldn't just forgive her that easily. What she did was foul and had every bit of potential to break us up. I needed answers and I decided that tomorrow I would get them.