Forever His

Chapter Five

It's just a short update, but it's something, and it didn't take me months to get out! Right now I'm just trying to get back into the swing of things, so bear with me, and we'll see if I can actually stick to this, and get back to updating semi-regularly. We should be getting more into the actual action in the next chapter! So, enjoy, and hopefully I'll have something else out for you guys soon. xxx

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I watched in silent fascination as Cole’s plump lips pulled back to reveal a flawless smile, and his musical laugh spilled over me like a warm wave at the beach. His eyes had the consistency of melted chocolate as they crinkled at the sides with amusement and happiness, searching my features for the same hint of hilarity. I forced my mouth to form a grin and pushed a giggle from my lungs as I secretly admired the boy sitting across from me at the café table. He pushed a hand through his messy blonde hair before bringing it down over his face.

“I can’t believe you didn’t even know what an end-zone is,” he chuckled, peeking out at me from between his fingers.

I bit down on my bottom lip, fighting back a smile as I ran a finger over the edge of my cup. “I can’t help that I’m not a football fanatic, Cole,” I responded light-heartedly.

“Well I figured you would at least realize that an in-field is in a baseball, and that an end-zone is in football!”

“I never paid much attention to sports in high school!”

He breathed out another chuckle and shook his head. “I can tell! I’m going to have to teach you a thing or two, apparently.”

I shrugged as I brought the hot chocolate up to my lips, “Good luck with that.”

At that point, I was trying my hardest to forget everything about the similarities I had finally noticed between Cole and Colby. I was doing quite well, if I do say so myself, but the underlying sadness still hovered in the back of mind like a rain cloud threatening to burst at the slightest hint of encouragement. It would have been so much easier to push Cole away, just like I did everyone else, and slip back into my stupor. But I didn’t want that. I didn’t want float through life empty and miserable anymore. Happiness hadn’t come easily to me in awhile, and I’d be stupid to throw away the first real shot I had at it in what felt like a century.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Cole asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had settled between us as I had become absorbed in my own thoughts.

I peeked up at him, catching sight of my anxious green eyes in the mirror behind his head. Pulling in a deep breath, I forced myself to relax and turned my lips up into a tiny smile. “Anything,” I finally answered.

When he glanced up, his eyes held the same anxiety I had seen reflected in my own only moments before, causing my stomach to drop. “What exactly happened to you in your home town?”

Hearing that dreaded question made me freeze. “Why?” I asked, my voice taking on a more defensive tone than I had intended.

“I’m not meaning to pry,” he told me with a frown, “I just remember Cortnee telling me to be careful, because you have some major trust issues from your past.”

I’ll kill her, I thought murderously to myself.

“You don’t have to answer…I was just curious,” Cole added when I didn’t answer immediately, almost sounding like a wounded puppy.

I sighed. “What exactly do you want to know?”

“Anything, really. I just want to know who, or what, could have hurt you so badly that you would move 35 hours from home. I mean, I didn’t really think much of it at first when you told me how far away you lived, but then she brought up the trust issues…”

“I honestly don’t think you want to know,” I murmured, turning my attention out the window and onto the sunny day that lay just outside the café. If I told Cole the truth about my past, I was afraid he would either pity me or think I was too damaged to hang around anymore. There were so many complications that could arise from one, stupid thing. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to just erase the whole incident from my background, so I’d never be forced to tell the story again.

“How bad could it be?” He asked.

I shot him a look. “It’s pretty messed up.”

He gave me a challenging grin, trying to lighten the mood. “Try me.”

I dropped my gaze and started weighing my options. I could refuse to tell him anything, but then there wouldn’t really be a sense of trust in our friendship. And if I ever wanted us to go further than just friendship, I would need to open up.

“Do you want me to save you the gory details, or go all in?” I finally asked.

“I want everything.”

And so, I told him my darkest secret. I started with the murder of my twin brother, Toby, and ended with waking up in the hospital after being stabbed in the gut and left to bleed out in the middle of the woods. Cole’s face remained neutral as I talked, omitting no emotion at all as the story spilled from my lips, all a robotic memory. I did leave out one important detail, however. I conveniently managed to skip over Ralphie raping me. That was something not even Cortnee knew, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready to tell either of them. Nerves had managed to make themselves at home in the pit of stomach, though, as solid as iron while a million thoughts raced through my mind once the story ran dry and Cole remained silent. I could only imagine what was going through his mind.

Finally, when I thought I couldn’t handle the silence any longer, he spoke up.

“Can I see the scar?”

Startled and confused, I could only look at him with my eyebrows and mouth both turned down.

An embarrassed smile found its way onto his face as he let out a nervous laugh. “Was that an inappropriate thing to ask?”

I shook my head, trying to clear away the shock. “You just surprised me. That’s not usually the reaction I get when people hear my story.”

Cole cracked an apologetic grin, but said nothing.

“Do you really want to see it, or did you have nothing else to say?” I prompted.

He shrugged, “Maybe both.”

I placed a hand over my stomach where the scar lay hidden under a cover of fabric. “I’ll make you a deal. If you don’t avoid me or treat me like a basket case now that you know my horror story, I’ll let you see my scar when the weather warms up enough for a beach trip.”

A genuine grin spilled over onto his face, one that I couldn’t help returning. “It sounds like a plan, Cass,” he told me.

We carried on a normal conversation after that, planning out our future beach trip I had mentioned. He didn’t treat me any differently after hearing the whole story, and he didn’t dwell on the facts, pitying me like everyone else seemed to. That was exactly what I needed. I needed someone who knew my horrible past, and didn’t treat me like I was so breakable afterwards. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to look over his resemblance to Colby after all. Maybe Cole and I could eventually have something more than just a friendship, and he’d actually be able to help me forget that I was ever broken in the first place.