I Choose You

"I love her mommy"

Shannon pov:
Ever since Cammie left, we've face timed, texted, and called everyday. We talked so much about life and how our days went. Aiden still talks to Cari everyday because she is the only person that could make him stop crying. He's still sad that she's gone and deep down I am too. Can't help but miss that beautiful angels voice, when I'd walked into Aiden rooms to see her singing him a lullaby, and just feeling completely whole with my family. Sometimes I wish that I started dating Cari sooner, maybe we would have been a family, maybe she would've still been here, and just maybe she could've been my forever. But her career is more important and all she did was support me when I was achieving my dreams, it's only fair if I give her that too. She was my world, my ride or die, she was so different from the rest. But then again there's Cammie. My high school sweetheart. Someone I loved for too long and someone that was once my everything. She came out because of me. She did whatever it took to get me back. Yet by the end of our relationship I had a broken heart. How do you choose between a relationship with two people you love so much? How do you choose between your forever or your everything? My heart can't choose one but it knows letting go of one with hurt like hell. It's only 6 in the morning and this is how my day has started off. Again between two girls.

After a few hours of hell in my head, I decide to make some breakfast for everyone. I go downstairs and make bacon, eggs, sausages, and chocolate chip pancakes for Aiden. I walk upstairs to get my baby boy. In his room I see that he fell asleep with his iPad again which means Cari sang him to sleep. I shake him a little and he stirs in his sleep. "Wake up AJ" I say and he shakes his head no. "I made you pancakes" and again he shakes his head. He usually gets up by the time I tell him that. "Aiden sweetie, what's wrong?" I say and run my hand through his messed up hair. "I miss auntie Cari" he says and I sigh. "Aiden, she has to follow her dreams. She's doing what she loves and I didn't want this family to be the reason she couldn't do that" I say and lift him up into my arms. "But I just want to see her. I miss her mommy" he cried in my arms and I can't help but feel guilty about all of this. "She said she'll visit soon bud. And you know she doesn't lie about anything" I say and he gives me a little smile. "I love her mommy" he says and I look at him. "I do too" I say before carrying him downstairs to eat.

Aiden and I are downstairs eating our breakfast when two more lesbians enter the room. "Morning" Aiden says to Stevie and ally. They grown and grab a sit on the table. "You guys look like hell" I chuckle also making Aiden laugh. "Stevie wouldn't stop kicking me off the bed. So I had to sleep on the floor" ally says. "Well you wouldn't stop cuddling into my legs. I need to stretch them you know" they both argue on the table while me and Aiden watch the disaster go down. "Ugh I'm gonna sleep in my room tonight!" Ally yells and walks up the stairs to her room. "She's too dramatic!!!" Stevie sighs and sits back into her chair. "So how are you two lovebirds doing?" I ask and Stevie just gives me the death glare. "Aiden go watch tv in the living room, auntie Stevie might kill me" I say and he runs around the table to hug her. "You're a scary lady auntie Stevie. But you're really beautiful too" he says and her face soften into his touch. "Shannon can I keep your son?" She asks me while he runs out of the room. "He's a sweetheart" she adds and I nod. "Ally will be fine. Knowing her, she'll cave in first" we both laugh and she starts eating. "So how are you and Cammie?" She asks and I shrug. "I don't know. We talk and whatever but I still love Cari. Aiden wouldn't get out of bed today because he misses her too" Stevie gives me a sad smile and puts her hand in mine. "Girl you're in one deep pickle. Give me some pros and cons about both of them. Maybe it'll help you decide" she says and I nod. "Okay umm... Cammie. Pros she's beautiful and I've loved her longer than Cari. She was my everything at one point. She makes me laugh whenever I feel down and seeing her again made all my feelings flood back to me. But cons of going back to her is the fighting and heartbreaks that we've been through" I say. "Well Shannon, the fighting and heartbreaks are in the past. She's changed and waited for you everyday when we were at college" she says. "I know that but Cari is also in the picture. Pros she helped me through all of this with my family, she waited for me because I couldn't get Cammie out of my head, she was gonna be my forever, and now she's supporting with all my decisions I make even though she's not here. The only con about dating her is she's gonna every so often because of her career. We didn't fight
because I had no reason to fight with her" I put my head in my hands and I feel Stevie rub my back. "Aye. You're screwed man. All I got to say is follow your heart. It never makes the wrong decision" she leaves the room and I scream into my hands. Someone just tell me who to go to!

Cammie pov:
It's one in the afternoon right now and I'm waiting for Shannon to text or call me. Usually she does by now but I don't know, lately she's been a bit off and has nothing to say to me anymore. Like I know she's still caught up with Cari and I can see she loves her. I just don't want to lose her again. Shannon was the first to help me through all of coming out and she did not stop until I was happy with myself. What kind of person would want to lose all of that. Sometimes when Shannon would bring up Cari I think maybe it's just better off if we stay friends. I don't want to be the reason why she couldn't marry Cari. I see the way she talks about her and her eyes light up and I could see the pain that she left her in. Then there's me. We talk that's it. She makes me feel a zoo in my stomach whenever she smiles but it seems like for her, it's not the same. The way I see it is I messed up before I left. I wasn't the best girlfriend and I admit that I wasn't the best. I sure as hell fucked her up. But I'm 22 years old now. I am different. I've changed because my past was a piece of crap. I ruined so much friendships and my life just to have a good reputation. Now, I don't care. The only thing I care is me, my career, and Shannon. I love her and i will always love her but if being with me doesn't make her happy than I just have to stop getting in the way of that. My phone start ringing and I smile at the caller ID.

C: Hey ShanBam.
S: Hi Cam.
She sounded sad.
C: what's wrong?
S: I just had a rough start today. I tried waking Aiden up and he wouldn't budge because he misses Cari.
C: I know. And I know you miss her too.
S: I do. But I miss you. It's been so hard for him. He can't sleep at night and he doesn't want eat. I don't know what to do, cam.
I can hear the pain in her voice.
C: Why don't you and Mark just be there for him. You guys are always separated and maybe having the both of you will make him feel better.
S: Yeah I'll try. I'll talk to you later, okay?
C: okay.
S: Love you, bye.

She hangs up before I can respond. Ugh I miss nights where she would stay up with me and tell me how much she loved me. I just miss back when we were in high school. When we were you and stupid. When we were in love with each other. Now it's just me who's in love. I think I'm gonna surprise them though. Just so Shannon and Aiden are happy. I know what I have to do.

Shannon pov:
Mark and I spent the whole day with Aiden. Just me, him and our little boy. It's weird because we've never spent a day like this. Where it was just us. Usually ally or Ethan tags along and I don't know, right now it feels a bit different. Aiden is happy because all of our attention is on him and should always only be on him. We're driving home from the arcade because Aiden was tired and all his excitement had died down. But on the other side me and mark had energy in us and didn't complain.

Once we got home mark carried Aiden up to his room while I sank into the living room couch. "So how was your day?" Ally says coming into the room. "It was fun. We got to cheer Aiden up a lot and I felt like a good parent for once" I sigh and she comes sits next to me. "You are a good parent. You're always gonna be a good mother to Aiden" she gives me a small smile and I shake my head. "I've neglected my son and now he loves Cari more than me" I say and she punches me. "No. You are a GREAT mom. He is happy and you give him that happiness. I don't know if you know what you're saying about yourself but stop. You are a great mom, daughter, sister, and friend. We need more people like you in this world" she says and when I'm about to say something our conversation gets interrupted by the doorbell. "Did you invite anyone over?" I ask and she shakes her head no. "Did you?" She ask and shake my head too. I walk to the front door and open it. I stare at the blonde girl in front of me and I'm literally speechless. The love of my life stands before me (or one of them). "Hey shan, who's at the door?" Ally comes behind me and I look at her. She gives me the same reaction while we look at the girl.

"Hey ShanBee" the girl says. Oh how I've missed that.

"Hi Cari...."

GUESS WHOS BACK??? Not me but Cari. For a while. Sorry for never updating but I have culinary over the summer and it's been a long dream of mine to be a chef. So how are you guys? I'm good. Hope you guys enjoy this very boring chapter❤️
   -Stephanie✌️