Overjoyed

Chapter 39 - Under the weight of living

[This chapter will be from Dan’s point of view]

‘You fucking idiot’ I thought to myself as I tossed and turned in bed. The only thing keeping me there was Eliza’s scent on the covers and the pillows. I had really fucked up with her, and I hated myself for it. How could I have been so stupid? Eliza was the only girl who’d ever loved me and I’d gone and thrown it all back in her face. I ran my hands over my face and into my hair, which was sticking straight up as I hadn’t bothered to style it after my shower. I wore my Eraserhead T to bed, anything to stop the hickeys from mocking me. I’d called all the guys; no one knew who this girl was, how it happened or who took the photos. I swore to myself over and over again that if Eliza ever came back I’d never touch a drink again. I checked my phone religiously, hoping she’d ring or text me but she never did. It had been a solid twenty four hours and I’d been driving myself mental wanting to ring her, but I knew I had to respect what she’d asked of me. Christ, I missed her. I missed twirling her wavy auburn hair around my fingers as she looked up at me, smiling that lovely smile that lit up her whole face, making her hazel eyes sparkle at me. The thought of her sent a pang through me. I was a massive fucking arsehole, doing that to her. Pain seared through my being as I imagined what would happen if she never came back. I hadn’t been able to function, I’d lost my usually ravenous appetite, I couldn’t write, I wouldn’t leave my flat.

My phone rang, interrupting my sad reverie. I jumped at the sound, my fingers quickly finding my phone, my heart in my throat with hope.  No caller ID. I let it go to voicemail, disappointment washing through me. This happened about a dozen times before I answered, this person was fucking incessant. “Hi” I answered listlessly. “Dan, oh my God! Why wouldn’t you pick up!” the panicked little voice shrieked. “Courtney, is this you?” I asked. “Yes! Oh God Dan, you have to come! It’s Eliza, she’s been in an accident!” she exclaimed, barely pausing for a breath between words. “What?” I exclaimed, my heart lurching with fear, “Is she okay? I’ll be there as soon as possible.” Courtney sounded as if she was crying, “I can’t, I can’t bear seeing her like that!” I was out of bed so fast that I saw stars. Pulling on my jeans and grabbing a jumper I ran to grab my keys. “I’ll be there as soon as I can, Court. Text me the name of the hospital” I said as calmly as I could, while leaping down the stairs of my building. In the car on the way to the airport I called Will, telling him I’d be out of town for a while. He was the oldest and most sensible of my band mates and I knew that he’d know not to ask questions when he heard the panic in my voice.

At the airport the nearest flight was fully booked, so I had to wait. Five fucking torturous hours. I paced up and down, thinking about if anything happened to her… God help me. When they finally called my flight I practically ran, my heart threatening to break free from my chest.

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I had no idea what time it was, but it was late. I had no idea whether it was Sunday or Monday or even fucking Tuesday, but I was in a taxi on its way to Grace Mercy Hospital. I needed to see Eliza, and come hell or high water, I would. I didn’t care what time it was.

When the taxi came to a halt, I paid the driver hastily and raced into the emergency unit. “Eliza James please” I asked breathlessly when I reached the front desk. The elderly woman seated at the desk consulted her computer and stated, “It appears she’s in surgery right now. You’ll have to wait to speak to her doctor. Are you her immediate family?” she asked. “I’m her husband” I lied. “You can wait over there, Mr James” she said, motioning to an empty waiting area, “her doctor will be with you as soon as her surgery is over.”

By the time Eliza's doctor came out to speak to me it was already light out, and everything around me was waking up. I’d nodded off briefly a few times, only to be woken by disturbing dreams of a pale-skinned, cold Eliza, lying in a car wreck, not breathing.

“Mr Smith?” someone said, gently tapping my shoulder. Shit, they were supposed to think I was Eliza’s husband. “I’m Doctor Morton. Don’t worry, I know who you are, my daughter’s a huge fan of your band. Miss James’ friend informed me that you were her significant other” he said calmly. “Thank you for understanding, Doctor” I said, relieved, “Is she okay?” He took the chair beside me, clasped his hands together and began, his voice filled with sympathy. “She suffered a minor head injury and we managed to drastically reduce what little swelling there was on her brain. She’s currently in a medically induced coma. Unfortunately, her internal injuries were far more serious. We’ve stabilised her but I’m afraid she’s lost her baby.” I was dumbstruck. “Baby?” I spluttered. “Yes” Doctor Morton said, “Miss James was about five weeks pregnant.”