Stay With Me

Chapter Eleven

I laid with my back facing Jimin. I didn't love him, I didn't know why I did it. Jimin was right behind me, kissing my shoulder softly and rubbing his hand up and down my side. I just stared at the wall ahead of me, completely disgusted with myself.

"Babe," Jimin said in a low hoarse voice. I shivered in sickness at what he called me. "I need to take a shower and you need to get ready for that dinner crap that you were invited to." He propped himself up on his elbow so that he could peek at my face. I squeezed my eyes shut when I saw him out of the corner of my eye. He leaned down to kiss my cheek and let his lips linger against it, then he got out of the bed.

I was thinking of the dream I had involving Lisa. It was still so prominent even after so many days. I still remembered almost every detail.

I waited until he was in the bathroom with the door shut and I heard the water running. I jumped out of the bed, quickly slipped into my clothes and rushed out the door. I didn't know how I was going to face him again. I felt so disgusting and dirty. I wasn't even thinking when I asked him to do this. It was just a sudden impulse to get Lisa jealous. I froze when I realized what I just thought.

I wanted to make Lisa jealous. I had a creeping suspicion that she was dating Sorn to make me jealous, but I couldn't be sure. Tonight, I'll find out, I thought.

My thoughts drifted back to the experience I shared with Jimin. It felt good, but I felt horrible using Jimin like that. Like I said, I didn't love Jimin. It didn't feel like it meant anything. I guess it didn't mean anything. To him it might have. But, not to me.

I walked all the way home. From Jimin's to my house. It wasn't that long of a walk, but with the way I was feeling, it felt like a million miles.

"Where were you all day? Breakfast didn't take that long did it?" My mom greeted me with a big hug. I couldn't enjoy it because all I was thinking about was Jimin and Lisa and how crappy I felt. I looked at the clock which said 4 pm.

"Sorry, mom. Jimin and I had other plans for the day," I told her.

"Oh, Jimin? I thought you would've been with Lisa."

I watched as she walked into the kitchen. "Lisa? Why her?"

She shrugged, "Well, I don't know. You two seem close. I just thought you were hanging out, that's all."

I narrowed my eyes. "Well, I'll be with her tonight. Her brother asked me to come to dinner. Which is weird because I've only met him once."

"Is he nice? Do you think you'll like him?" My mother asked hopefully.

I shook my head in disappointment. "Mom, seriously?"

"Okay, fine. Just go, have fun," she smiled. I didn't smile back, I just looked at her skeptically and, without another word, I left.

I went to my room and I flopped on my bed, face down. I shoved my face into a pillow and screamed into it. Why does my life have to be so complicated? Why can't I just like Jimin without all these other feelings? Why do I have to have these weird feelings for Lisa? Why can't I just be normal?

I screamed again into my pillow, then my phone rang. I answered it, not bothering to check the ID. "Hello?"

"Wow, you sound happy. Whats wrong?" Lisa asked.

I perked up and sat up straight. "Oh, nothing's wrong. I'm fine. Just getting ready for dinner tonight," I said quickly.

"Okay, tell me what's wrong. Now. It's obviously bothering you. Does it have something to do with that Jimin kid? I knew I didn't like him! What did he do?" Wow, Lisa was really getting into this.