The Perfect Circle

Chapter 3

I walk leisurely to my brothers room dwelling in the comfort the white walls and highly sanitized smell that the hospital gave me. I didn't like it, it's just what I've become used to.

"August." I heard someone calling my name. I didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. I've become so familiar with that voice since last year.

"Nurse Jane." I smiled, well at least tried to. She reach in for a hug, which I was grateful for because it hid the smile that probably came off as a grimace.

Nurse Jane is the sweetest person I knew here at the hospital. She was middle age and had the biggest heart someone could ever have. She's the one who's taking care of Xavier and has giving me updates about him, and whether or not his body is responding to the medicines. The scar from his surgery is almost healed but he still isn't waking up.

Which is extremely weird.

"How have you been my dear?" She smiled holding me by my shoulder as if inspecting my body for any visible changes. "I haven't seen you in two days, is everything okay?"

"Everything seems to be going normally."

We made small talk for a few minutes, catching up on my brothers condition and so forth. I broke off the conversation telling her I wanted to go him.

"Okay dear, I'll be in the lounge if you need me."

I waved goodbye to her while I silently mutter a prayer hoping that I don't run into anyone else. My prayers were answered because I reach his room without any disturbance. I walk into the room and closed the door behind me. I always did that whenever I came as to get as much privacy as possible.

I turned around and looked at my brother. His appearance always seem to freeze me in my stance. He had multiple tubes connecting his body to the machine on the left side of the room. He had an oxygen mask around his mouth and nose and drips in his veins. His entire body seem pale and he obviously has loss a great amount of weight.

Xavier got most of his features from dad. We only shared our brown eyes and black hair which we both got from Mom. He got Dad's smooth porcelain complexion that every girl in a 1 foot radius admires, while I got mom's tanned almost caramel looking complexion and natural, curly hair.

The steady beating of the machine broke me out of my daze and I move further inside the room. I sat on the chair at his bed side and instinctively grabbed his hand.

"Hey Xavie." I couldn't stare on his face so I stared at his sky blue sheets with grey patterns. The one he loves so much.

"I'd tell you I miss but you already know that don't you?" I sighed, "when are you going to wake up Xavie?" Xavie is the only person I can break down like this in front of. I couldn't do it when Adri is around, she'd fall apart just like me and I can't let that happen. She's the only strong one at the moment and I know I may sound selfish but I needed her strength. Xavie wasn't awake now so I have to protect myself and others around me. I hate pity, I hate attention, so I try to stay as far away from them as possible.

"You know I had another nightmare the other night..." I sniffed, my tears subsiding a little. I huffed out a halfhearted laugh "It keeps coming back to haunt me, every single time. You remember my first one? I had to sleep in your room for weeks and you would sing me that lullaby until I dosed off. It worked, it even felt normal to sleep in my room again, but then-" I blinked back the tears. "-when everything was beginning to go back to normal, you collapsed. I was so busy trying to get over everything, that I didn't even realized that you were dying. I blame myself each and every day because I know things could have been better even though you didn't say a word to us."