A Moment in the Crowd

Chapter 21: Space

"You know I'm on tour, yeah?" He looks up at me from his slumped position on the couch for an answer to his obvious question. His eyes are guarded, and his hair is swept off to the side a little. He looks so fucking good though.

"Yeah, obviously." I attempt a smile but it fades somewhere in the middle of it being formed. 

"It means that I can't really see you Lily. At least not until the tour is over." He slouches and rests his head on the couch, as if it's too heavy from what he's saying. He looks so distressed to be telling me this, but I don't know why he would. I guess I saw this one coming. Didn't he?

"Yeah, I assumed as much. Does that bother you?" I'm treading lightly here. I don't really know his take on the kiss. I haven't talked to him since then so how could I know what he's thinking?

"Of course it bothers me. Doesn't it bother you?" It seems like I caught his attention with my question, because he's sitting up straighter now and he's staring at me so expectantly that I feel like I might cave from the feeling of his eyes on me alone. 

"Well, yeah but I mean - nevermind."

"No, please." He urges, the expectant look he wears intensifying drastically.

"I don't know this is so crazy for me. I don't really know how to process it." It's true, my mind reels every time he's around and I can never connect the right wires from my brain to my mouth. 

"I know, I'm sorry. Luckily you'll have a break from it anyway. I can't come see you while I'm on tour, it's just not possible." He looks dejected by his own words. Like he's thought of every possible scenario, but there just isn't one that works. 

"It's fine Harry, really. I wasn't expecting anything. You don't have to worry." I laugh it off as if it's nothing, but the laugh isn't genuine. Harry knows it too because he stays silent.

"I'm sorry." He looks down at his feet that rest on the carpet in the living room. The beige swirls from the carpet contrast his white socks while he continues to stare at them.

"It's fine, really." I feel this uncontrollable impulse to comfort him. Even though he's apologizing to me, my body registers the opposite.

It's that impulse that pushes my body closer to his. He stares down at me as I sit closer to him, ignoring the incessant beating of my heart that comes with the closeness. I stare back at him, and I'm so acutely aware of the space between us. Barely four inches. Three inches. He's moving closer.

I see his eyes flicker from my nose down to my lips, and he stays barely two inches from my face. I sit still, forcing myself not to give in to the impulse of grabbing him and kissing him right now. His eyes move back up to stare at me and he gives a weak smile. We're so close now, I can hear the air that flows in and out through his nose. His breath smells like sweet mint, and it takes me back to the night in front of the subway station.

I feel his hand cup my cheek, and then he pulls me to him. He closes all the space between us as his lips come crashing against mine. This kiss is different. Feverish and frantic. He holds my head in his hands as his soft lips move against mine. This time I slip my tongue into his mouth, showing him that I want this as much as he does. He breathes heavily as he moves his hands from my cheek, to brush his fingertips against my shoulder, and down my arm. I place mine around his neck again, grasping at the chesnut curls that I can reach with my hands. I weave my hands further into his hair and I hear him groan into my mouth. The sound causes every fiber of my being to ignite with so much force that I can barely register it. The tingling that I remember feeling from his touch is amplified by so much that it's almost numbing.

I scoot my body closer to his, and his hand reaches instictively to my thigh. The gesture causes my heart to beat even faster, and my cheeks are hot with the intimacy I wish we could share. As if reading my thoughts, Harry leans into the kiss so that I have to lean back on the couch. My head rests on a pillow and I can feel the weight of his body while he strokes my thigh. He's careful not to break the kiss as we both lean into each other, and I almost groan from the lack of contact when he begins to kiss my neck. He pecks at my jawline, softly with his lips until he reaches lower down my neck and begins lightly sucking on the tender skin. The heat that flows through my veins at the feeling of his lips on my skin causes my pulse to increase even more.