King of Nothing

Then (16)

When I woke up from being unconscious I was already in a hospital bed that sat in the corner of a secluded rooms with curtains surrounding me and various machines beeping in the background. I felt comfy…like my mind and my body was at peace. 

“Hello? Where am I?”  I asked, trying to figure out everything. When I woke, I didn’t remember everything that happened, all I thought was that I was driving home alone and my car crashed. 

A nurse suddenly opened up the curtains and walked in briskly. “Hello Mr. Maverick. You are in a patient’s room for rest, you will be released within a few days. You are at Briarcliffe Hospital.” The nurse smiled as she said this, revealing her pearly whites.  

“Okay thank you, why the wait?” I asked, looking like a child that just got a puppy. 

“Well you do want to be awaiting your daughter as soon as she gets out of her immediate surgery.” The nurse smiled again as if what she said was no big deal. 

“Excuse me?” I said, I was a little bit in shock at this point. 

“Yes, while you were sleeping your daughter had to get rushing into the ER for an emergency surgery.” The nurse explained to me.  

“What?! Why?! What happened?!” I yelled, she looked a little taken aback. 

“After you and you daughter got stuck in the car crash, due to your intoxication I may add, you both got rushed to the hospital. You had minor wounds, but she was all bruised and battered…to put things into perspective, there was lots of internal bleeding, and Sarah had to go into emergency surgery to get her all fixed up.” The nursed explained it all to me without even taking a breath. I was so surprised and shocked and I started to sob right on the spot. 

“No it can’t be true.” I shouted, I was in denial, I was scared, I was upset, I was so pissed off at myself that I could do something to my daughter. 

“Yes! I know this can be a very traumatizing thing to go through. If you would like to view the surgery, there is a viewing room where your wife is already watching.” The nurse informed me. I got out of the bed without a further notice and booked it, I had to wait for the nurse to catch up, and then she lead to the viewing room. 

Once I arrived I sat down beside Liz and she hugged me. We both sat there in anxiety with tears that welled up in our eyes. We just prayed our daughter would be okay. She was so young, she had so much life to live and so many new things to experience, so many things we would all overcome together - as a family. 

It felt like the longest time waiting there. But then one of the surgeons jumped up and all of a sudden we heard shouting. Then more shouting. We sat there for a little confused about what was happening, but then it was all very clear to me. Our daughter was slowly dying. 

The doctors and nurses and surgeons all rushed around like professional maniacs, trying to reverse whatever had just happened to my daughter. 

This went on for some time, Liz and I shrieked all of the way. IT was a emotional roller-coaster, and I couldn’t help but sit there and worry. 

Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay. Was all I could think to myself. 

Then, the hospital faculty just stood there around Sarah’s unconscious body, almost as if they had given up. 

I sprinted up to the glass window and pounded on it with all my might. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! Please, God no, please no. This can’t be happening. Oh no. No, no, no. Please, NO!” I panicked. I was full on crying. 

It only made Liz and I’s fits of crying and sobs worse when we see the Doctor that was in charge of the it all lift his rubber gloves soaked in my daughter’s blood and and pull the blanket that lay over her feet up and over her body, until it covered it all, even her head.  

Sarah was dead. 

And I was the one that killed her.