Don't Say That (Completed)

Changing

(Edited)

Rain fell down on me while I walked down the road. Each step I took felt like I was carrying bricks. I have been walking for hours. Ran for one. I left Cole at that park, I just left him there. It was selfish of me to leave him, but I felt he needed to get away from me too. I have no clue where I am. The darkness of night was coming soon. But I felt no need to go find a place to stay. I felt no need to do anything. My emotions are out of whack. One minute I'm crying the next I'm angry. I have no clue what is going on. My whole life I hid myself from people, never showing them me. Never showing who I really am. But it was different now. Everything was. I like a boy, but he is gone. My family is dead, never coming back. This whole thing is a mess, and I don't know what to do to stop it. Or if it even can. I want to see Isaac again. I want to see Troy and Cole again. Wish I could see my mom and tell her I love her. Tell her that I need her. Tell her I'm trying my best but I don't know what to do anymore. Wrapping my arms around myself I stop in the road. It was a dirt road, no houses to be seen. But a barn was in the distance. Sighing I slowly walk to it across to field of grass. When I was in reach of it I knocked on it. Nothing happened after a few minutes so I just went in. The inside was bare, only hay laid on the floor and bails of it in the corner. This will have to do.

That night I didn't sleep, I couldn't. My mind would not stop replying everything. I'm disappointed in myself for feeling so much for a guy I knew for like 4 days. I'm disappointed that I hurt someone I knew for months, but I couldn't just lie to him. The truth was I didn't like him like he liked me. Yeah, I thought he was hot. I even used the words, 'girl boner' when I saw him shirtless for the first time. Because it was true. But I can't help that I just don't find myself liking him more than a friend. With Isaac it was different. There was a part in me that wanted more of Isaac. I wanted to put my fingers through his hair. To see those eyes on me like I was his. I wanted to trace his jawline with my finger tips memorizing the shape of every curve. I wanted his arms around me comforting me as I cry. But he is gone. Never to be in my sight again. Never to see his face soften from his normal roughness. "Penelope, get a hold of yourself", I tell myself as wipe tears off my face. I must be so stupid. Letting a guy get to me. I'm turning into one of the girls I hated so much. The ones that want a happily ever after with Prince Charming. Turning my head to the barn window I see the sun coming up. I give up on trying to sleep, it's useless. So instead I stand up and get myself ready for today's walk to nowhere. All I have is a knife. I'm wearing a longish crop top and some shorts. Not much of an outfit for walking in the rain, but I did it anyways last night. Sighing I open the door and walk out into the sun. It warmed my skin with every beam of light. My face is stiff from dry tears and my body aches for sleep. But i need to keep walking. Need to find a place I can call safe. So I got back to the dirt road and continued my walk down it. Today felt like it was going to be hot. Well as hot as fall can get. Winter is coming soon, and I bet a lot of people are not ready for that. I certainly was not. I have no place to call mine and I had no car. My car is in the parking lot of a pharmacy in the city. I'm not going back there. But that RV had food and my bag. I kinda felt joy go through me as I thought of it. But it went away fast when I remembered I didn't even know where I was. I would have no clue to where I needed to go to get back there. So instead I kept walking with the knife attached to my hip.

Couple hours have passed and I was still walking on the road. I know. So thrilling. So far I have taken down 3 zombies and kicked 11 rocks down the road. I was kicking a rock in front of me when I heard a pop of an engine in front of me. I panicked as I grabbed my knife and started to run to the woods on the side of the road. But stopped when the truck stopped. Too late now to hide Penelope, great job. Slowly I hide the knife behind me and watched as the man got out of the car. He had a dark brown beard and a hat covering his balding head. He had to be in his 40s. At least. He wore a jean jacket and a grey shirt. Standing by the door of his truck he looked me up and down with a mixture of shock and lust. Should have known that was coming. A small smile comes to his face as he says, "What are you doing out alone pretty lady". I clench my jaw as I placed a fake smile on. I could use him. Use him to get that truck. Taking my hand I push my hair out of my face and smile lustfully at him as I say. "I'm lost and need some help", I state then bite my lip. The guy probably has not seen a girl in months. He could be so dumb to let me get close to him. Smiling wickedly he said, "Hop in beautiful". With that he got in his truck and I walked over to the passenger side. Adding a sway to my hips for effect. I feel ridiculous. Before I got in I put the knife behind me under my shirt so he would not see. When I was in the truck all I could smell was grass and whisky. The floor was littered with bottles and wrappers. Looking over to the man he smirked at me and asked, "What's your name pretty lady". Biting my lip with a smirk I said, "Julia".