it feels almost numb, existence.
Like I'm watching a movie about someone else's life but it's me.
It's like I'm watching myself from a distance, experiencing good and bad things but I can't control any of it.
Life is so weird. So many things happen and we forget. I don't wanna forget.
I don't want to forget the people I love.
I don't want to forget the music that's helped me.
I don't want to forget the houses i grew up in even though there are so many.
I want to forget a lot of things too though. I want to forget my parents splitting up. I want to forget the fact that my dad gets mad at me so much and I want to forget that that was the first time I saw my dad cry. I want to forget that my mom already had a suitcase packed and a bunch of my stuff was already at the house. I want to forget the fact that they asked who i want to live with and I said neither. I want to forget the fact that me and my brother went to his room and he told me it was going to be okay but it wasn't. I want to forget that we stopped by my cousins house on our way to the new house and I couldn't do anything because I wanted to go home. Not the new one but I wanted us to be a family again. I want to forget everything that's ever happened because the past is so fucking stupid. It's dumb and i want to forget everything. I want to forget stupid fucking friends who were never there for me and who left out of nowhere. They didn't deserve to be in my life and I don't know why it took so many years to realize that.
