Beast Within*Kellic*

Chapter Seventeen

Vic POV

Ring, ring, ring.

I glanced at my phone, trying to see who it was before I picked it up. I bit my lip when I saw who it was.

Kellin<3

I can't answer. 

I let it ring and ring, sighing in relief when it finally stopped. 8 Missed Calls.

I stared at the wall in my room, trapped in self-loathing. 

I hated myself. How could I just let the demon inside of me win and feed from Kellin? It was a miracle that he didn't hate me.

Or maybe it wasn't.

I wanted him to hate me. I wanted him to be angry with me. I wanted him to yell at me and to tell me to never do it again, because it was what I deserved.

I've been avoiding him for about a week now, but I know that I'm going to have to face him sooner or later. I mean, there's school-which I can't keep missing-and he is my boyfriend.

Avoiding him has been affecting my attendence at school, too. I didn't want to face him, just in case he really was mad at me for feeding him.

I know. I'm a confusing person.

I don't know why I'm torturing myself. But then I do know why I am. I want him to hate me, but then I want him to love me.

He deserves someone better.

But I'm the best he'll ever have.

He needs to be with a Mortal.

But I'm too selfish to let him go.

I let out a whimper, bringing my knees up to my chest. I missed him desperately, wanted to see him and hug him and kiss him. I wanted to cuddle him, to hold him and never let him go. But then I know that eventually, I will have to let him go.

I can't have him forever. 

And that breaks my heart.

I sighed, closing my eyes. He came to visit me the first day I missed school. Poor thing, he wanted to make sure that I was okay. I told him to fuck off, that I needed some time to myself. I watched the hope and happiness pour out of his eyes.

What am I doing to him? I'm no good for him. 

I shouldn't be with him. But I didn't want to let him go. I told him not to get close to me, I told him the risks of being with me. I don't know why he stayed, but he did. 

What I'm doing to him is breaking my heart. 

He needs me; I can see that. I just wish that he didn't, so it would make it easier when I finally did have to leave him.

What if I turned Dark? Into a Demon?

What if I wanted to hurt him?

....what if I did hurt him?

"Fuck," I cursed, running my hands through my hair. "I need to leave. I need to go. I need to....leavegoleavegoleave."

I stood up, grabbing a random bag and throwing some clothes into it. I was going to get out of here. I knew it was going to break his heart, but he would get over it. 

Right?

"Vic," I heard, but I wasn't paying attention. "Vic!" Mike yelled, bringing me back to the surface. I stared at him with crazed eyes and a broken heart.

"What?" I whispered.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving. I need to go, I need to leave, I need to get away. Don't tell Mom and Dad. And if you do, just...tell them I love them?"

"Woah, woah, woah," he said, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me slightly. "Do I need to slap you? Are you hysterical?"

Maybe.

"No,' I answered, shaking my head. "I'm fine. I just need to leave for awhile."

"No, you're not going anywhere."

"But Mike-"

"But nothing, alright. Kellin told me what happened, and he told me what is currently happening. He's scared, Vic. He doesn't want to lose you."

"He has to, Mike, he has to lose me. Sooner or later, I'm going to leave, or I'm going to turn into a Demon, and I'm going to hurt him, unless I leave now."

"No," he said firmly. "You're staying. And you're talking to Kellin."

I thought for a moment, calming down. What am I doing? Am  I stupid? "How about I'll stay, but you have to give me time before I can face Kellin?"

He gave me a look, but nodded and let me go. "Put your stuff back."

I did as he told while he stood there, making sure that I wouldn't make a run for it. I finished and lay in my bed, sighing. "Thanks, Mike."

"No problem. Go to bed, I'm going to call Kellin and tell him that you need some time." 

"Thanks," I whispered as he shut the door.

How much time would I need before I could face Kellin again?

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A/N okay this is probably the shittiest thing I've ever written. It's confusing and all over the place but I literally just wrote this in ten minutes while laying in bed sick and slightly delirious. I'm going to try to upload the next chapter today too. Sorrysorrysorry