the outsiders → Random

homophobia

Before I start off this one shot, here are some warnings:

Homophobia, mentioned suicide, mention of murder.

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Growing up, genders didn't matter to me. I played with a girl the same way I played with a boy. I never thought about it, even when my then nice mother smiled and asked me if I had a crush.

When I was eleven, genders did start to matter. Girls were okay, I liked talking to the ones who were nice and not loud. Boys were okay too, I'd get nervous around some.

One day, a boy from California came to school and he asked me to be his friend.

A few months later and he kissed me, right on my lips. It was just a peck, but my father saw and screamed so loud I think the Socs could hear.

The boy ran off and I was left alone with my father.

My father dragged me inside by my hair, he threw me on the ground and started beating me, telling me how God doesn't like faggots.

At sixteen years old, he still beat the hell out of me.

I was scared for a long time, I didn't tell anyone. I figured if I kept my mouth shut then they wouldn't figure it out.

But, I told them.

I heard on the news how liberals in California were planning a gay march. I heard how people were voting to make gay marriage legal. I didn't realize that it was only in California, that was happening.

After a few months I was sure the gang wouldn't mind me, they wouldn't care about me liking boys.

But when I told them, I instantly regretted it.

Darry stared at me with his hard light eyes, then he grabbed Ponyboy away from me.

Ponyboy was confused. Confusion turned into disgust. He had a scowl on his face and he stomped into his room, muttering slurs my way.

Sodapop wasn't any better. The lively brown eyes turned into blazing fire. He got up from his seat and hovered over me, yelling insults and lectures at me.
Two-Bit was silent. His face was hard, mean, and serious. I swear I seen him shake his head at me, then he drank his beer.

Steve didn't have a reaction. He did try to calm everyone down, but he was ignored. Ponyboy had asked why was he defending me, he asked Steve if he was a queer too.

Dally. Oh, Dally. I'd never seen him so riled up before. He was the only one who got physical. He was the only one who didn't use the word faggot, queer, or fairy.

Instead, he grabbed me by my collar and shook me, yelling at me, asking who turned me gay.

He was close to tears, I could see his blue eyes that held no emotion. His eyes watered but no tears were shown. He told me that I was just confused, that I didn't know any better.

"I'm not confused." I had said.

Dally stopped shaking me. He threw me on the couch and and kicked the couch. He stared at me before he kicked me in my stomach. I couldn't tell on what he did next, everything seemed to be going fast.

Steve managed to shove Dally off of me. But Dally just grabbed Steve and pinned up against the wall.

"You did this to Johnny, didn't you?" He scowled and slapped Steve. "You turned him into-"

Dally stopped himself, swallowed hard, and threw Steve to the floor. He looked up at everyone, before looking at me with disgust. He slammed the door.