Stay |unedited| [COMPLETED]

Soup

Do you know the feeling when you thought you already found someone who accepted you completely? That you thought he healed the deep wound inside you? but little did you know, he was rubbing salt to your open wounds.

When you thought he embraced your shuttered world not minding the fact that it was dark and scary but instead, crashed it to atoms.

It hurts like hell.

I looked at the fourth bottle of soju I just emptied. Why is this shit not affecting me when I want it to?

"AHJUMMA!" I called. "One more bottle of soju here please!"

This is what I do every night since then. I get myself drunk. I didn't go to work for days. They must have suspended me for leaving without a notice. I didn't mind.

The memory of what just happened last few days still lingers in my head. Specially, in my still pained heart.

Flashback few days ago..

Knowing my old self, I would have launched myself at that bitch and rub her face on the floor while tugging her hair really, really hard.

But I didn't..

Instead, I walked near them. I looked at Jae Hi then to Yoon Gi.

"Yah, Jagi. I know you missed me so much but you don't have to kiss the air." I laughed, an empty laugh.

"(Y/n).." Yoon Gi said, he was shocked. He pulled Jae Hi's wrist and hid her behind him as if he was protecting her from me.

"I made you jajjangmyeon. It's your favorite, right? Let's go downstairs before it gets saggy." I said as I pulled the hem of his shirt.

He didn't say anything but he removed my hands on his shirt.

"Yoon Gi, this isn't true right? It's a prank right? Where's the hidden camera?" I said but I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"(Y/n), stop it." He replied.

"I'll forgive you. I'll forget this, just.. let's go eat downstairs, hm?" I said. I bet I looked stupid while smiling and crying at the same time.

"I cheated. I fooled you. You were too dumb to know, but what I showed you, all of that. They were not true." He said.

"But I love you." I said, I am now a crying mess but what can I do?

"Not even once, I have loved you." Yoon Gi answered.

I harshly wiped the tear that escaped my eyes with the back of my hand. It was useless as another tear came rolling, then another.. and then another.

I poured another drink on my glass then drank it within seconds. I got tired of drinking little amounts so I decided to drink from the bottle directly.

I looked outside. It was raining. I smiled. I felt like the heavens are comforting me. I like the rain.

I stood up from my seat and went outside.

"I'll walk to home." I whispered to myself.

I was like a zombie walking on the rainy streets. I stumbled and slipped here and there. I was laughing and crying at the same time. I looked pathetic. I received judgemental gazes from the people who passed by me but I didn't give a fuck.

"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS HURTS" I sightly punch my chest. "FOR YOU TO LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!" I said, pointing to a random person in the street.

You judgemental creatures. Die!

I crossed the streets, cars were beeping their horns at me because of my sudden appearance. I just raised my middle finger at them. Unluckily, I survived few crossings.

I passed by the park Yoon Gi and I used to go. The first time we went out. The time he asked me to be his girlfriend. All those memories came rushing into my mind. Tears were rolling down my cheeks.

How could he?

He should've just punched me in the face if wanted to hurt me in the first place. I would gladly take it. That would be much lesser painful than what I am feeling now.

I went to one of the swing and rode it but failed. I fell down on my back, my feet raised in the air. I winced in pain.

"FUCK!" I groaned. "THIS. FUCKING. HURTS! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HURT LIKE THIS?!" I cried my eyes out. I was screaming and shouting. I was yelling profanities at Yoon Gi hoping he would hear it.

Despite of the fact I was soaking wet and despite of the fact that it was still raining.. I fell asleep on the cold ground.

---------

I woke up in my apartment the next morning.

"Aaarrrgggh." I held my head. It hurts. It felt like it will cracked open. I support myself with my elbow as I sat on the bed.

"Good morning." I saw Namjoon. He was holding a pot of soup on his hand. He carefully placed the bowl on the table not far away from me.

"Why are you here?" I said. "How did I arrive home? The last thing I remember, I was at the park."

"I carried you home." he simply said.

But how did he know where to find me?

I looked at my clothes under the blankets. I was surprised.

"Y-yah! What are you thinking?" He said.

"No way.. you.." I squinted my eyes at him implying something.

"Hey! Don't think something stupid! I asked the ahjumma living beside your apartment to change you." Namjoon defended. His ears were in bright shade of red.

"Oh, okay." I said. "So you cooked?" I asked changing the topic as I looked at the soup.

"I wish I can. I went back home while you were sleeping and asked Jin hyung to cook that." He answered. "You should eat. It will help lessen your hangover."

I was eating when Namjoon picked up  a green shirt from the floor. I grabbed it fast and hid it under my pillow.

"T- this is just.." I struggled for words. He nodded, he knew I didn't want to explain anything.

"If you want, I'll give it back to him." Namjoon offered.

"You don't have to bother, it's okay." I said. But the truth is, I want to keep it. It smells mint just like him.

Namjoon nodded. He stood up and gathered his things.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"We have a photoshoot at 5:00. They are probably looking for me now. Only Jin hyung knows I am here. I should get going." Namjoon said.

But I don't want to be alone..

"You're leaving already?" I said. I looked at the clock and it was already 3:00.

"I have to. Manager- nim will scold me." He responded so I nodded disappointingly. He stared at me, I can see a hint of holding back in his eyes.

"But if you want me to stay, you can just say so." Namjoon looked at me with his eyes expectant.

I didn't know where the hell I got my courage from. I felt empty. All I wanted was a company from someone I think really cares for me.. and there's Namjoon.

"Please stay." I said, looking at the floor.