Better Judgement (Dan Smith/Bastille) -COMPLETED-

Shakespearian Judgement

Days, weeks and months passed by. Jake had left a while ago now, I spoke to him most days, but I’m getting over the fact that he’s gone. Caleb was getting quite big now, 9 months old. He was a handsome little chap, I’ll tell you that. I’d managed to avoid speaking to Dan for these past months. I speak to Will all the time now. He sits by me in English, thank God the teacher moved Cade. He was starting to get funny with me, giving me the ‘eye’. It scared me. I still sat next to Woody in maths, he spoke very little to me, but I think we were still friends. Of course, I spoke to Kyle. Whenever I was round at Francesca’s we would Skype him or Face Time him. I’d accepted the fact that Dan was gone from my life. The whole thing about the pictures and Alma had died down. My parents found out, and it wasn’t pretty. There was a whole argument in the school office between Alma and I’s parents, of course, my parents won. Alma got suspended for two weeks, which I personally didn’t think was enough. Oh well. I never spoke to Dan. Not a word has been exchanged since he left me at my house that first night with Caleb. I found out that he did kiss Alma. It took me a while to get over that, but it still feels like a pain in the chest when somebody mentions it. Of course I don’t tell them that. I hadn’t gone to music practice at lunch either, no matter how much Will and Francesca had tried to persuade me, I stood my ground. I hated even being in the same room as Dan. But on the other hand, I loved it. It gave me a sense of security, just seeing him. Of course he didn’t speak to me. Whenever we made eye contact, it was awkward and we just looked away.

I strolled into English with Will. We were both quite early for school, considering how late we normally are anyway. We took our usual seats at the back and had a casual conversation until the classroom began to fill up. Dan and Woody walked in, Kyle joined them soon after, but not before saying morning to us.

‘’Right then, a few changes here and there I think,’’ Miss Budgens scanned the room from underneath her glasses, ‘’Harry, swap places with Tim. Jenna please swap with Louise,’’ she continued to look around, taking a pause, ‘’and Will, would you swap places with Daniel please’’.

Will and I looked at each other. I heard Dan sigh loudly as he began to gather up his things. Will did the same, leaning over to my ear and whispering,

‘’It’ll be alright, I promise’’ He nodded and walked over to Dan.

Dan came over to me, not making eye-contact, before throwing himself down onto the chair next to me. He was sat slanted, as far away on his chair from me as possible. I felt like I was some kind of disease that he didn’t want to catch. Like I was his biggest phobia. Like he was going to die if he came any closer to me. I felt like he hated me. Hate is a strong word, and thinking that Dan hated me was heart-breaking.

‘’That’s much better,’’ Miss clapped her hands and dumped a book down on the desk, ‘’Turn to page 460, read the scene in role with your partner’’.

The noise level began to creep up as more and more fake Shakespearean accents were put on around the room. I grabbed my book and skimmed through the pages till I found 460. Dan was sat doodling on one of the pictures in the book. I coughed loudly and he looked up, then looked back at the book before speaking.

‘’ He jests at scars that never felt a wound.

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief,

That thou her maid art far more fair than she:

Be not her maid, since she is envious’’.

‘’ Ay me!’’

‘’ She speaks:

O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art

As glorious to this night, being o'er my head

As is a winged messenger of heaven’’

‘’ O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father and refuse thy name;

Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,

And I'll no longer be a Capulet.’’

‘’I miss you’’

‘’ 'Tis but thy- wait, what?’’ I choked, staring at Dan.

He looked down at his book, muttering something to himself. He sighed and looked back up at me. He electric blue eyes were so beautiful from behind his glasses. I missed those eyes, I miss him too.

‘’Dammit I miss you alright?’’ He stood up and slammed his hand down on the desk. The whole class turned to look at us, Miss Budgens had a shocked expression on her face, her hand on her chest.

‘’Daniel! Outsi-‘’

Dan held up a finger to silence her. He gulped and I began to feel light-headed and really shaky. Dan licked his lips and focused his eyes on mine.

‘’I miss you, Alba. I’m such an idiot for not sticking by you and then I went and lost you. I got lost in all the confusion, everything that’s happened has got me all fucked up in my head,’’ I heard Miss Budgens draw in a sharp breath as the class continued to watch in shock.

‘’I want you to talk to me, I want you to smile and laugh and joke with me. I want you to come back to music. I want you to tell me how good my music is and I want you to tell me where I’m going wrong. I want you to sing for me, sing for me like I’ve always wanted you to but never asked. Your voice is goddamned beautiful that I can’t get enough of it when you talk. I want you to forgive me for being such a prick and I want you to say that you don’t hate me, because that’s all I want. Please, just tell me that you don’t hate me…’’

 

I totally haven’t accepted the fact that Dan’s out of my life, because it looks like he’s right back in it.

*a/n B A M. THERE YOU HAVE IT.

please comment/vote/fan ciaooo*