The Outsiders (one shots and preferences)

4. Johnny x Reader

(requested by poosiboi69 )
TW: mention of suicide

          

                We had snuck out again, Johnny and me. His folks were always beating on him and ignoring him, and my parents just plain didn't care about where I was going or what I was doing. We would always go to the lot and talk for hours, sometimes falling asleep together next to the fire. We'd always talk about running away together. Not just to the lot, but out of this town. Maybe out of Oklahoma all together. But we'd always stay because the gang meant too much to us and we couldn't leave them.

We had both had a thing for each other, and the other knew about it. We never even told each other, but we didn't have to; it was obvious. How my cheeks felt hot whenever he grabbed my hand, or how he laughed a little bit harder and longer than the rest of the gang when I told a joke. We had talked about maybe becoming official in the past, but things were always too hectic to even consider it.

We were sitting on the bench next to each other, watching the fire burn in silence. I was leaning on his shoulder, trying to hide the fact that I was crying. I never cried because of my parents anymore, but this time it bugged me in a way it hadn't for years.

"Johnny?" I asked quietly, breaking the silence.
"Yeah?"
"Have you ever though about killing yourself?"
He looked down at me, processing my words.
"Killing myself?" He asked. "I used to. I used to just want to be gone. But 16 years just ain't enough, (Y/N)." He sounded upset. He didn't want anything bad to ever happen to you, and he especially didn't want you thinking those thoughts.

"If you ever killed yourself, I think I'd go nuts. I don't know what I would do. I'd miss you too much. I love you, (Y/N)." He said, mumbling the last couple of words.
"What was that?" I asked, leaning up to look at him.
"I said I love you." He said, after gathering all of his courage. I leaned back on his shoulder, and he put his arm around me.
"I love you too, Johnny."