Juliana

13. Crazed creepy lunatic

"I really wish I didn't have to leave." Kylie reached out for another hug.

God. How long was this going to take? You'd think saying bye to someone would be quick and easy, but nope. Kylie had to make it be this long drawn out process. It was ridiculous.

"Now, I think if we stick to our schedule we'll be just fine. Don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Remember, Robbie that every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday we video chat five times a day. And all other days we video chat three times a day. I wouldn't want to impose upon your football, guy, family, or Jesus time. Of course, there are plenty of phone calls and text messages in between the video chats every day."

"And how exactly long are these things that I have to do?"

"It doesn't matter, does it? Don't you want to spend every minute with me that you can?"

No. Not really, woman. I thought to myself.

"Kylie. Seriously how long are we talking? I'm a busy guy."

"Fine." She groaned. "If you just have to know, video chats are a minimum of three hours. Phone calls are a minimum of an hour, and you have to send me at least two hundred texts a day."

I felt like my eyes were about to bug out of my head. It was official. This woman was crazy. She needed help. She needed to be an intensive mental institution. I mean, fifteen friggin hours of just video chatting four days a week?! The only explanation was insanity.

"Robbie!" She snapped her fingers in my face. "Do you understand the plan?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever."

"Sign this then!" She stuck a piece of paper in front of my face.

What the hell? Now I was having to sign a friggin contract?!

"Sorry. Can't sign this until my lawyer looks over it. Don't wanna sell my soul over to the Devil, ya know?"

"Yeah." Kylie nodded her head. "You can just fax it to me! My plane is leaving soon. Bye Robbie! I'll video chat you later!" She planted a wet, slobbery kiss on my cheek.

Once she was out of sight, I rubbed it off my cheek. What had I gotten myself into? It was mess... that's for sure.

***

"Aaron. I'm not kidding. She pulled out a contract. She's insane!" I showed him the papers.

He burst out in laughter. "I'm sorry, but it's just sorta hilarious. Fifteen hours of video chatting four days a week... I just" He shook his head in laughter. "I can't wrap my head around that."

"Aaron... it's not funny. She has got some serious issues. I want to break up with her, but now, I seriously worry for my health and safety if I do. She's crazy. For all I know, she could have a tracking system and cameras on me at all times."

"If I am recalling this correctly, I warned you about her when you guys dated the first time. I had heard about her. You obviously didn't take my advice the second time around either because you hooked up with her again. Just sayin'" He grabbed his helmet out of his locker. "Come on, man. She's gone now. You can play it out."